Concerned Mothers Of The West, Teach Your Sons How To Truly Love
Don't worry. I'm trying to move on.
I'm working on a plan. I'll think of
something. I always have before.
I have to trust that it can happen
again. Because I'm definitely ready.
Ready to feel alive again. And not
as if I'm going through the motions.
Ready to feel human. Not a zombie.
As it stands, I'm still moving to NYC.
It's a city full of opportunities for me.
I have to remember that the city stood
before him and it will stand after him.
So the plan for now is to keep saving
money, keep weighing options, and
once I'm confident with what's in my
pocket, I'll move to whatever's calling.
Aside from financial stability, I am also
shifting focus back to making my dreams
a reality. I plan to do so by pulling myself
out of the creative slump I've been in and
reconnect myself to hobbies that build me
toward the success that I am capable of.
Very soon I will FINALLY be purchasing a
Nikon D40 and I plan to take advantage
of the warm weather. Jaime and I want to
meet once a week to shoot shoot shoot.
Also, DJ and Jill have agreed to help me put
together a modeling portfolio to take with me
to whatever city I end up in. I'm tired of people
telling me I should do it and telling myself I can't.
Maybe I'm constantly in a stand still because
I have so many passions that I never take the
time to prioritize. I go after all of them and end
up getting to none of them. I stretch myself
too thin to fill even one with any substance.
I'm realizing that pursuing one passion can
take you to places where others are reached.
I'm trying to keep this in mind as I move on.
So that's what I've got to look forward to.
Not a vague promise of a bright future, but
solid goals that I can start working toward.
I have to be able to see it to believe it. And
maybe it's all a delusion to make myself feel
better and help me get to the next step, but
using a mirage to get out of the desert is
better than letting yourself die in the sand.
I'm working on a plan. I'll think of
something. I always have before.
I have to trust that it can happen
again. Because I'm definitely ready.
Ready to feel alive again. And not
as if I'm going through the motions.
Ready to feel human. Not a zombie.
As it stands, I'm still moving to NYC.
It's a city full of opportunities for me.
I have to remember that the city stood
before him and it will stand after him.
So the plan for now is to keep saving
money, keep weighing options, and
once I'm confident with what's in my
pocket, I'll move to whatever's calling.
Aside from financial stability, I am also
shifting focus back to making my dreams
a reality. I plan to do so by pulling myself
out of the creative slump I've been in and
reconnect myself to hobbies that build me
toward the success that I am capable of.
Very soon I will FINALLY be purchasing a
Nikon D40 and I plan to take advantage
of the warm weather. Jaime and I want to
meet once a week to shoot shoot shoot.
Also, DJ and Jill have agreed to help me put
together a modeling portfolio to take with me
to whatever city I end up in. I'm tired of people
telling me I should do it and telling myself I can't.
Maybe I'm constantly in a stand still because
I have so many passions that I never take the
time to prioritize. I go after all of them and end
up getting to none of them. I stretch myself
too thin to fill even one with any substance.
I'm realizing that pursuing one passion can
take you to places where others are reached.
I'm trying to keep this in mind as I move on.
So that's what I've got to look forward to.
Not a vague promise of a bright future, but
solid goals that I can start working toward.
I have to be able to see it to believe it. And
maybe it's all a delusion to make myself feel
better and help me get to the next step, but
using a mirage to get out of the desert is
better than letting yourself die in the sand.