(no subject)
HOSPITALIZATION NIGHT
So it was a lovely friday afternoon and the guys and I were out palying football when kyle mentioned that his 21 year old friend was going to the liquor store. Now beers isn't that hard to get in college. most gas stations are pretty lax about ID's but ABC stores scan it to see if its real so liquor is harder to come by. So of course we carpe diem that shit or soemthing like that and order a good 2.5 gallons of vodka and a case of beer. And the worse part is, i never really think the idea of saving any of it for another night even crossed our mines.
So after we get our shipment we settle down fora good night of beligerence. It was melissa's bday not that i cared since by that point we weren't talking but she and her friends came by to celebrate. man im a nice guy.So there is about 15-18 people in my room drinking. So i made a nice vodka and mt. dew drink which is actually pretty good but if you didnt' know, carbonated beverages get you fucked up quickier (o the things you learn in AA).
So i start pounding mixed drinks like im drinking beer. Thats my problem with liquor. i dont' know how to dirnk it. i have no moderation with naything i drink. I go out to coffee with you and i'll kill my coffee within minutes. and i have a half gallon to myself, man i think you know where this is going.
My friend good melissa (guess which one is evil melissa) calls and i go and get her and on the way back i decided i didnt' like how that cone was looking at me and i decide to kick it in the face rigt in front of public safety. Man my day would have been a lot differnt if they ahd just busted me then. but they ignore it and we go back to the party where i have two more drinks and remember nothing else until the next day.
From what i have been told the rest of the night included some highlights such as me trying to make out with addy (addy is liek a sister to me, creepy), scott taking 19 shots for evil melissa's 19th bday and owe the hightllight of the evening... the RA stoping by.
Good old RA Don Juan (thats not made up) decided we were beign to loud and could smell alcohol and came into our room. he says who he is and i restablished who he was by yelling, "RA." and quickly shove the RA aside and run out the door.... of my room. i gather i ran down the hall and slipped getting into teh elevator and smacked my head against the side and past out. I still got two scars on my elbow from the slide.
Some people found me about a half hour later and one of my friends identified my corpse and tried to get me out of the elevator. havin gbeen in the elevator for over a half hour i ahd grown attached to this spot and didnt' want ot be moved. So i started spitting and yelling racial slurs at the black RAs. everntually public safety was called to restrain my beligerent ass. they tied me down to the couches in lobby and got a shield to block my spitting but they couldnt' do anything to shut me up. I yelled and yelled.
Ryan and some toher of my friends saw an ambulance pull up and said look at that stupid basterd. wouldnt that be funny if that was mike. yea guys. real funny.
They drive me tothe hospital which is fucking mile down the road and charge me 407 dollars. 400 flat fee and 7 dollars per miles. fuck me im in the wrong business.
Well sinc eno one was there the rest is from my memory. i threw up on myself so they calle dmy roomate and had him bring clothes at 6 am. guess id idnt' really give kevin enough credit some times. The inserted a catheter while i was eiher pass out or black out b/c i dont remember a thing
so eventually i regain semi conciousness and really have to pee. so i try to get up but for osme reason i can't. i keep trying and look back and saw that i was tied down but i was still drunk and it didn't register. so i keep trying andthe nurse comes over.
-lay down
m-no i need to go to the bathroom
-you have a catheter, just go.
m- what no i got to go to the bathroom
-listen you have a catheter you can just go.
m- i have to go.... {looks down}... o shit
BLACKS OUT... either from the alcohol of the fact tha ti have a 15 inch long tube shoved up my penis.... yikes.
wakes up to
-arlight we are goign to pull out the catheter.
m-{nurse pull out catheter} ooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww{feel like pissing razor blades.
In the end they called me a mini bus to take me back and i immedietly got back and went to bed. only to be awoken by scott who informs me that told the RA that his name was William Mckinley (the x president) who went to state. And of course there was smillign evil melissa bitching at me about last night (i dont' remember what for or why but i sitll dont' care).
So i then suffered the wrose hangover ever. i called my parents to take me home b/c i knew i was going to need some major recovery time for this one. So i missed the big state football game in which we made a last minute stop and rushed the field. Instead i sat at home in my bed unable to open my eyes but unable to sleep. i just drank water all day to try and flush out my system. I didnt' tell my parents until right before i got dropped off and the bill form the hospital was welll over a thousand dollars. thank god mostly covered by insurance. i eventually recovered but only like 5 days later. yes thats right a 5 day long hang over.
O and the best part was that i had to go meet with the head lady who had tried to get me out of the elevator. I got to hear all my quotes from teh night including "fuck you, you mother fucking niggor", "fuck you leave me alone", "get away from me niggor" o and did i mention she was black. fuck me. So she said she woudl probably have to terminate my housing contract b/c i was so beligerent. she said i was the worse she had ever seen but apparently some guy had died before from alcohol so im not exactly sure how i was the worse but i know when to not question stuff. in the end however i got a years probation from which upon writing this im still serving, need to complet alcohol classes and had to do community service namely cleaning up the bathrooms for 2 hours.
to this day when people here that story they say o i saw you that night or my friend found you. Apparntly whoever found me knows alot of people b/c everyone is freinds with him or her. o well
So it was a lovely friday afternoon and the guys and I were out palying football when kyle mentioned that his 21 year old friend was going to the liquor store. Now beers isn't that hard to get in college. most gas stations are pretty lax about ID's but ABC stores scan it to see if its real so liquor is harder to come by. So of course we carpe diem that shit or soemthing like that and order a good 2.5 gallons of vodka and a case of beer. And the worse part is, i never really think the idea of saving any of it for another night even crossed our mines.
So after we get our shipment we settle down fora good night of beligerence. It was melissa's bday not that i cared since by that point we weren't talking but she and her friends came by to celebrate. man im a nice guy.So there is about 15-18 people in my room drinking. So i made a nice vodka and mt. dew drink which is actually pretty good but if you didnt' know, carbonated beverages get you fucked up quickier (o the things you learn in AA).
So i start pounding mixed drinks like im drinking beer. Thats my problem with liquor. i dont' know how to dirnk it. i have no moderation with naything i drink. I go out to coffee with you and i'll kill my coffee within minutes. and i have a half gallon to myself, man i think you know where this is going.
My friend good melissa (guess which one is evil melissa) calls and i go and get her and on the way back i decided i didnt' like how that cone was looking at me and i decide to kick it in the face rigt in front of public safety. Man my day would have been a lot differnt if they ahd just busted me then. but they ignore it and we go back to the party where i have two more drinks and remember nothing else until the next day.
From what i have been told the rest of the night included some highlights such as me trying to make out with addy (addy is liek a sister to me, creepy), scott taking 19 shots for evil melissa's 19th bday and owe the hightllight of the evening... the RA stoping by.
Good old RA Don Juan (thats not made up) decided we were beign to loud and could smell alcohol and came into our room. he says who he is and i restablished who he was by yelling, "RA." and quickly shove the RA aside and run out the door.... of my room. i gather i ran down the hall and slipped getting into teh elevator and smacked my head against the side and past out. I still got two scars on my elbow from the slide.
Some people found me about a half hour later and one of my friends identified my corpse and tried to get me out of the elevator. havin gbeen in the elevator for over a half hour i ahd grown attached to this spot and didnt' want ot be moved. So i started spitting and yelling racial slurs at the black RAs. everntually public safety was called to restrain my beligerent ass. they tied me down to the couches in lobby and got a shield to block my spitting but they couldnt' do anything to shut me up. I yelled and yelled.
Ryan and some toher of my friends saw an ambulance pull up and said look at that stupid basterd. wouldnt that be funny if that was mike. yea guys. real funny.
They drive me tothe hospital which is fucking mile down the road and charge me 407 dollars. 400 flat fee and 7 dollars per miles. fuck me im in the wrong business.
Well sinc eno one was there the rest is from my memory. i threw up on myself so they calle dmy roomate and had him bring clothes at 6 am. guess id idnt' really give kevin enough credit some times. The inserted a catheter while i was eiher pass out or black out b/c i dont remember a thing
so eventually i regain semi conciousness and really have to pee. so i try to get up but for osme reason i can't. i keep trying and look back and saw that i was tied down but i was still drunk and it didn't register. so i keep trying andthe nurse comes over.
-lay down
m-no i need to go to the bathroom
-you have a catheter, just go.
m- what no i got to go to the bathroom
-listen you have a catheter you can just go.
m- i have to go.... {looks down}... o shit
BLACKS OUT... either from the alcohol of the fact tha ti have a 15 inch long tube shoved up my penis.... yikes.
wakes up to
-arlight we are goign to pull out the catheter.
m-{nurse pull out catheter} ooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww{feel like pissing razor blades.
In the end they called me a mini bus to take me back and i immedietly got back and went to bed. only to be awoken by scott who informs me that told the RA that his name was William Mckinley (the x president) who went to state. And of course there was smillign evil melissa bitching at me about last night (i dont' remember what for or why but i sitll dont' care).
So i then suffered the wrose hangover ever. i called my parents to take me home b/c i knew i was going to need some major recovery time for this one. So i missed the big state football game in which we made a last minute stop and rushed the field. Instead i sat at home in my bed unable to open my eyes but unable to sleep. i just drank water all day to try and flush out my system. I didnt' tell my parents until right before i got dropped off and the bill form the hospital was welll over a thousand dollars. thank god mostly covered by insurance. i eventually recovered but only like 5 days later. yes thats right a 5 day long hang over.
O and the best part was that i had to go meet with the head lady who had tried to get me out of the elevator. I got to hear all my quotes from teh night including "fuck you, you mother fucking niggor", "fuck you leave me alone", "get away from me niggor" o and did i mention she was black. fuck me. So she said she woudl probably have to terminate my housing contract b/c i was so beligerent. she said i was the worse she had ever seen but apparently some guy had died before from alcohol so im not exactly sure how i was the worse but i know when to not question stuff. in the end however i got a years probation from which upon writing this im still serving, need to complet alcohol classes and had to do community service namely cleaning up the bathrooms for 2 hours.
to this day when people here that story they say o i saw you that night or my friend found you. Apparntly whoever found me knows alot of people b/c everyone is freinds with him or her. o well