I hate when bottles grow too rapidly from being beautifully cold to sickeningly warm as a result of slow drinking, but I’m just not always into drinking so fast. Often, if I have enough cash on me, I’ll just set the half-empty warm bottle on the bar in front of me, scoot down a few seats and then hail down a different bartender to order another.
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The girl’s hair is sort of long, but not much. It goes down almost to her shoulders, although it does not cover the elephant ears. In an effort to retain some sort of feminine lilt to her inhuman gene portrayal of normalcy, she tucks her hair behind those giant ears and with a voice I think may be altered by the gills at her neck, she orders a beer. The most expensive one behind the bar, no less, but I’ve tasted that beer before. It’s French, and it’s awful. If I had closed my ears from the moment I heard her shaking the tiles behind me, entering the bar as though a wrecking ball through the World Trade Center, I believe I would have imagined her voice sounding really pretty. So much, in fact, that even though I knew she was a monster (and a thief), I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her with a long knife blade to the mouth and seize her larynx.
But that’s over now. I don’t go for girls who have pouches, like the kangaroo does. It’s just too odd. And I’m punch drunk, my friend.
Someone with a toothache behind me is cackling like a gigantic bird at his opponent for being on the captain’s end of a pool game that has gone nowhere since its inception the hour previous. By the way they’re crooning to each other I gather that they are very good friends and possibly even a singing duo, but that neither one of them is much smarter than the pool table they’re playing on. A dubitable shame that the wooden legs and the green felt have a better chance of getting out of this bar without hanging its head in shame. A better chance, even, than I do, come to think of it, but who cares? I feel like vomiting, and it’s not the beer doing this to me. I think it’s the girl with the elephant ears.
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