Everything Just As Well.

[unburiable]

The last thing I saw before drifting off was the faded green wall opposite the window side of my bedroom, right over the desk. My body remained alive for a few minutes more, but as for me I was out just as well as a dead light switch; repair could be on the way, but there’s only so much time you can let an accident sit before the injury becomes

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Hands folded in my lap, like everyone else at the funeral.

[unburiable]

I feel very comfortable not discussing things like that, and I suppose I always have. The future holds little more than remembering the past, so it’s probably fair to admit I’m beyond learning how to get over such things. Of course, this carries with it the relentless exit sign over a door that leads-as anyone could guess-to a brick wall built up on the other side, but at the same time I think it says a lot. A bow and arrow set with a string trigger for the opening of the door would fit just as well if you disregard that intention splits right down the middle of the outcome.

But I do recall something else that was of a minor interest for quite some time. It didn’t shave any extra uneasiness off the curdled top of hat would eventually happen to me, but it did serve to keep it from spoiling, even if it’s just because from time to time, when it entered my mind, I still got that feeling in my legs of a run that seemed to have lasted days but that could be considered well worth it.

One time when I was smashing in the back windows of the door leading into a hallway at a school I didn’t even attend, I was spotted by the night cleaning person, and as I made a fevered dash for it I ran myself into a dead end. It was either that I turn back and face whatever forces might be pursuing me (and as it would turn out, nothing was), or climb some ridiculously high chained-link fence with the sharp points growing half a foot over the top bar. These types of chained links are a fucking pain in the ass to get over the top of because it’s almost like barbed wire.

One of the points at the top dug into the palm of my hand. Balanced with hardly any surety atop the fence, like a jumper on the corner of a 30th story ledge, I took a leap from it the likes of which would have made a breathtaking visual if not for a shoelace that had caught on the very same steel point I’d ripped my hand open on.

Straight down I went, face first into the cold earth. I chipped two teeth and split my gums open at the top. There were two lounging officers in their cruisers not forty feet away, taking a breather, probably discussing how easy they had it when others of their kind had to fight it out in tougher sections of the neighborhood.

Either I ran off like a criminal, arousing suspicion, getting caught for sure, or, I suggested to myself with no little hesitance, I take the more dangerous route. Which was to walk right in between the cars like I was just some no good kid not doing anything wrong but looking for some trouble.

I sucked in some air, stuck out my chest and charged the police cruisers, turning a cartwheel straight through their conversation. One of them stood up and flagged me back over, asking what my problem was. Praying to a God I felt sure didn’t even exist, I sluggishly trouped back and answered the cop’s question. “I just got suspended from school today,” I said with an arrogant pride dribbling from my lips. “I’m on my way home and I’m required, by law, to take a two week vacation. I’m also required, by law, to get the hell off this property for the duration of that time.”

With a smug look on his face, the second cop told me to go ahead and get on my way, then. I obliged.