(no subject)
well I haven't updated in a while. I feel like there's so much to say but when it comes to actually putting it all on here, there's so much I can't say.
You do things and you're supposed to think about the consequences....but I didn't. I don't most of the time. I mean, I never did worry about it because I thought it was safe. But it wasn't and I got scared. Then as soon as I found out that it was all ok, I'm punished for it. He yelled at me. Straight, flat out yelled at me. I know that I shouldn't have told him that anything was wrong in the first place. But the fact that I was soo happy about the outcome and then he just ruined it and yelled at me. I haven't talked to him at all today and I hung up on him last night because he was giving me shit for being on the internet when I was talking to him. But I was talking to my sister about my mom (which is another long story). So I got pissed and hung up on him and haven't talked to him since. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Ugg I just don't know. I feel like he just doesn't understand me. He doesn't even realize that he has some girl that is willing to wait for him. What would he do if I just up and told him it was done for good? I think that when I talk to him next I'm going to tell him that we need to take a couple days and not talk. Then if he likes it then we're done. If he doesn't like it, then he needs to prove that to me instead of just assuming that I know. I mean, I know he loves me and I know he cares and I know he wants to be with me.....but it's just that he needs to honestly make me believe it everyday. Some of the things he says...makes me wonder how he could love me like he says??? gaaa...maybe I'm thinking too much into this but oh well. I mean, we both realize that I could be out have fun but I try and then he calls and gets mad if I want to go have fun. I just don't understand....oh well...I'll update later. Gonna go outside for a bit.....
You do things and you're supposed to think about the consequences....but I didn't. I don't most of the time. I mean, I never did worry about it because I thought it was safe. But it wasn't and I got scared. Then as soon as I found out that it was all ok, I'm punished for it. He yelled at me. Straight, flat out yelled at me. I know that I shouldn't have told him that anything was wrong in the first place. But the fact that I was soo happy about the outcome and then he just ruined it and yelled at me. I haven't talked to him at all today and I hung up on him last night because he was giving me shit for being on the internet when I was talking to him. But I was talking to my sister about my mom (which is another long story). So I got pissed and hung up on him and haven't talked to him since. I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. Ugg I just don't know. I feel like he just doesn't understand me. He doesn't even realize that he has some girl that is willing to wait for him. What would he do if I just up and told him it was done for good? I think that when I talk to him next I'm going to tell him that we need to take a couple days and not talk. Then if he likes it then we're done. If he doesn't like it, then he needs to prove that to me instead of just assuming that I know. I mean, I know he loves me and I know he cares and I know he wants to be with me.....but it's just that he needs to honestly make me believe it everyday. Some of the things he says...makes me wonder how he could love me like he says??? gaaa...maybe I'm thinking too much into this but oh well. I mean, we both realize that I could be out have fun but I try and then he calls and gets mad if I want to go have fun. I just don't understand....oh well...I'll update later. Gonna go outside for a bit.....