So btw...

May 15, 2008 15:04

Sometimes I forget to post things that are REALLY AWESOME.  So here's some I missed.  (No, I'm not procrastinating work at all.  Where did you ever get that idea?  :P)

1)  Its frickin FREEZING in this stupid lab!!!  But that's not really awesome.  So let's move on.

...I GET TO BE A FAIRY!!!!!  SQUEE!!!!!  I was really excited because for Becky's sculpture class she has to do some kind of unmovable artwork or something, and she was thinking of dressing me up as a fairy and making me a part of it.  SQUEE!!!!!  That's the most awesome-est thing EVER!!!!  I was just looking on Deviant Art the other day and seeing this one girl who like dresses up and does super awesome self-portraits that I totally wish I could be a model for one of those things.  Or something.  And this is so excellent!!!  AND I get to be a fairy!!!!  XDDDD

What else... Oh, so first I love the fact that of course, its only on the days when you have to get up early where you stay up until 4 in the morning talking to your best friend :P  It was super awesome, and I totally don't regret it.  I felt bad for poor Becky though, who had class at 9 the next day >.<

I also wanted to say something along the lines of, I think I really appreciate it when people understand me.  There's a couple different kinds of understanding in people.  You have the simplest kind which is I say luggage and you go oh, a suitcase or bag which you put things in when going on vacation.  Its like... linguistic understanding.  You understand the meaning of the word I spoke.  And then you have the next kind which is when I go I have a lot of luggage, and you see my luggage and go Oh man!  That's a lot of luggage!  But without actually seeing it.  You just do understand that I am Stephanie.  Therefore, you believe me when I say I have a lot of luggage :P  Then you get the kind where you understand a person without them speaking any words at all.  And I really enjoy that kind a lot.  I think it comes into play in conversations and also in emotions.  In conversations you get the thing where you have no idea what word you're looking for, but eventually, the person understands your wild gesticulating and goes Oh!  You want to say such and such a word.  And you're like YES!  Exactly!  And then in emotions, you just get the kind where your best friend looks at you and goes "What's wrong?"  Before you even say a word.  Or when you're explaining something to them, and they totally get how you feel even more than you do.  And they patiently sit there and wait and help you along to get to the point which they knew you would get eventually because they love you.  (I think that sentence was coherent :P)  And that's the kind of understanding I really love.

Its weird, because I was thinking about best friends the other day.  The concept of "friend" has been somewhat fluid in my mind.  I read stories and have a good strong concept of what a friend is, but for a long time I was unable to recognize this in a person.  I definitely had friends in high school, but it took me a long time (...like, until senior year) to truly recognize what good friends looked like.  In college, I think I got confused again.  Because people in college act differently than people in high school.  So it was difficult to figure out at first.   I had my concept, but I used it to justify the people I called my friends, rather than hold them to its precepts.

But I think I have a fairly decent grasp on what a friend means again.  I was thinking about my high school friends the other day, and really missing them.  Missing the way we could just get together and fool around and have fun.  Missing the way me Lauren, Leigh, Keni, and Young would sit around and have blunt, informative, educational questions about the things teenage girls had questions about.  Missing the easy way we interacted and had a good time.  Missing the vacations, the parties, the movies, the dinners, all the games of charades and psychologist and apples to apples we played.  All of the good times, the fun times.  And I thought, man... those were good friends.  And I really want to have that in college.

Becky is one of those.  Best friends I mean.  One of those people where you imagine back to your childhood, and you totally see yourself as a child interacting with them as a child, even though it never happened.  One of those people where it just doesn't make sense to not know them, and you'd lose something very important, very significant in your life.  One of those people who understands you in that really good way I explained above.  One of those people who loves you and accepts you, regardless of what you do.  One of those people you never run out of things to talk about with.  One of those people you have great conversations with, that you cherish for a long time.  One of those people you can be completely ridiculous with.  One of those people who you always have a good time with.  One of those people who makes time for you, who will come over to visit even if its just for a half an hour, because she hasn't seen you all day and misses you.  One of those people who sends tons of text messages just to say they love you, they're thinking of you.  One of those people who knows exactly what kinds of things you like.  One of those people who knows you almost as well as you know yourself, regardless of how long you've known each other.  One of those people you joke about being married with.  One of those people who you have conversations with, that no one else understands because they're full of inside jokes and... just things that only the two of you share.  ...I could go on, easily.

I was talking with my friend Jess the other day, and she asked me if I believed in soul-mates.  I told her yes, but that it wasn't the traditional everyone has 1 soulmate who is fated to be their romantic partner view that I had.  But it was this:  I believe that there are people who you are connected with on a very spiritual level.  Perhaps you shared a past life with them or something... I really don't propose to know how these things work, but in any case, your souls are connected.  These people are your soulmates.  These people are people who you are just ridiculously close too.  People who you just have this extra special connection with.  People who understand you more, or on a different level than others.  That's what I think that soulmates are.

I think that Becky is one of those people to me.  One of my soulmates.  Because even when I was in highschool, even my really awesome friends weren't close to me like this.  I love them dearly, and I am in no way trying to degrade or diminsh my friendships with other people.  Because people are important to me.  All of the ones I know, in their own special way.

I guess this post ended up being a little different than I expected, but I was just recently looking through my old posts and was really disappointed in myself for a bunch of reasons (though that's an entirely different topic.)  And at first I was like hmm... maybe this is strange to post on livejournal.  But I looked at some of my old posts and was like ...why?  I always shouted out nice things about my friends then, who... turned out a lot different than I expected.  So why not tell the world all the lovely things about someone I truly care about.  Someone who's friendship I think is exceptional and genuine and authentic and who I really love.  So, I guess that's what I'm doing now.

I love you, Becky!!!!!  ^_^
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