Know my place in misery
It seem sas thought i have started to successfully mend JD and Angel's relationship. I thought of the way to do it after observing there relationship for about a week. It seemed as thought JD was insecure about his standing with angel and was always more concerned about himself and paying bills then makeing his girlfriend and Fiance happy. I always think that its never not impossible to do them all, if you can pay your bills, you can find a way to make her happy, its doesn't take money to do it, just the right touch. I made JD feel as thought he was losing Angel, and finally I see he is trying to get her back. This is where im going to step out. I really do like her, and she liked me, but how can I step on her and JD's relationship so freely. What was I thinking that for once I might have found myself happy with someone. I think maybe of all the things about her, I was more resecured about a possible future with her, because I really do want a family and im afraid im never going to get it. I knew from a young age that i can not be happy in any aspect of my life, i really don't understand why, but I have a feeling that this is the truth of the matter. Anytime I do find happyness, it gets stripped away from me. I feel much like a man wondering in the desert alone, chasing an illusion of water, but never reaching it, because it does not exhist. My life is misery, and no matter how often I fight it, no matter how many times I try to accept it, i can neither live happy, nor die peacefully. I used to wish to find the one special person, to have a family, and live a normal life with love in my heart, but slowly, my spirit dies, it fades into darkness, and eventually, i wait for death to take me. One day i will be an old man, one day i will be dust, and one day, none shall know that i existed, for that is my legacy, that is my memory, that is my misery.