God, grant me only girls.
Cause I am never putting together a beyblade with a 10 year old boy waiting for it EVER AGAIN!
This is how it started:
Me: Do not touch ANYTHING! I HAVE to go by how the pieces are numbered.
Boy: Okay! I can't wait! I love beyblades! *picks up pieces, starts pulling them out"
Me: *throws self across bed that beyblade pieces are scattered across* NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Boy: I'm sorry.
Me: It's okay. Just don't touch anything. I have to keep the numbered pieces in ord- WAIT! Don't TAKE THOSE OUT! AHH! I dunno what pieces those were! *attempts to match teensy colored plastic pieces with even teensier grainy black n white picture*
Boy: I'm sowwy. Here, I just took these out *holds out hands with fifteen orange pieces that look remarkably similar*
Me: Okay, why don't you go play while I put this together?
Boy: No! I want to help! *begins placing sticker on random piece*
Me: Ahh! Does that go there? Wait! Stop! I want to keep these in order *begins putting pieces on bed in semblance of order according to one tiny grainy black and white photo*
Boy: Okay! But I want to help! Can I help? *begins bouncing on bed, scattered recently ordered pieces*
Me: *near tears; puts items back in order; takes out stickers and holds instructions up to face* Okay, here, put this sticker.. here!
Boy: I can't do it! My hands are too big!
Me *thinking: HIS hands are too big?* Okay, here, I'll do it. *puts sticker on randomly. Pushes it til it's mostly aligned* Okay, why don't you sit OVER THERE and NOT MOVE while I do this?
Boy: Okay! *bounces on bed, scattering items* Oops. Where'd that screw go?
Me: Screw? There's only one screw! *frantically begins searching for missing screw, find it under large dog who now wants attention. Pat dog frenetically for a minute then tell him to go chill out*
Boy: *Pulling more pieces out* Here! I took these out!
Me: *sniffles back tears, takes pieces* Why don't you go play ELSEWHERE while I do this?
Boy: But I want to heeeeeeeeeeeelp! *small whine*
Me: *Begins trying to screw a screw that seems to be too big into teeny hole* Erk. This isn't working. Maybe we ought to wait on mom to come home *wondering how mom does it, and if I can take it to the store and pay THEM to put it together*
Boy: *whiiiiiiiiiiiiiine* I don't want to wait! Please, use your superstrength!
Me: *Wondering where superstrength is* I don't know, honey. I promise I'll try. Please go play with your fifty thousand OTHER beyblades that DON'T turn into cool-looking dragons while I put this together!
Boy: But, Miss Kaffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (what he calles me)
Me: *Frantically messages mom on yahoo messenger while trying to force screw into teeny hole*
Mom: Heh. Wait til I get home?
Me: He's so disappointed.
Mom: *disappears*
Me: *strips screw nearly all the way trying to fit it in* There! Whoohoo! Wait.. what, exactly is part number 3? Where is part number 3? *searches through random beyblade pieces that cover bed, since boy has brought in his collection of beyblades and is fitting random pieces to random parts*
Boy: I dunno. Look, Miss Kaffee! This fits here!
Me: *takes piece, takes deep breath, reminds herself he's just excited about his new beyblade and wondering why she didn't buy the damned oinking pig he originally wanted*
Boy: Uhh.. I put this new piece on this old beyblade, and it won't come off!
Me: *slightly angry now, I'm ashamed to say* Aahh! Why did you DO that?
Boy: It just snaps off! *defensive* (poor kid - he just wanted his toy, he didn't know Miss Kaffee was an idiot when it came to putting toys together)
Me: Okay. Please, honey. For the sake of my sanity, go play outside, in your room, watch TV, anything while I put this together!
Boy: Okay! *wanders off*
...
Boy: *returns thirty seconds later* Is it done yet?
Me: Here. The beyblade part is done. Now I have only to figure out the stupid dragon part.
Boy: Yayyyyyyy! *gathers up other beyblades and wanders happily off*
Me: what the hell is this part? These four pieces look nearly the same! I need to know the numbers! Why did he take them off when I asked him not to? Why am I talking to myself? Aaaahhh!
Boy: *wanders back in* Is the dragon done yet?
Me: Only if you want it to look like a head. No body.
Boy: No, thank you.
Me: Go play *gritting teeth, determined to put this thing together and finish it*
Boy: Okay! *wanders off*
Me: *figures everything out, puts dragon together, uses every piece and calls boy in*
Boy: YAAAAAAY! THANKS MISS KAFFEE! WOW!
Me: *smiles, anger gone, frustration still apparent* You're welcome. Go play honey.
...
Thirty seconds later:
Boy: Miss Kaffee! Where is the dragon's sword!?
Me: It was with the dragon. In it's claw. If you don't have it, you better look for it. I don't want to look at orange or brown plastic EVER again!
Boy: Found it! *wanders off to more than likely ruin new toy*
The end.
This is how it started:
Me: Do not touch ANYTHING! I HAVE to go by how the pieces are numbered.
Boy: Okay! I can't wait! I love beyblades! *picks up pieces, starts pulling them out"
Me: *throws self across bed that beyblade pieces are scattered across* NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Boy: I'm sorry.
Me: It's okay. Just don't touch anything. I have to keep the numbered pieces in ord- WAIT! Don't TAKE THOSE OUT! AHH! I dunno what pieces those were! *attempts to match teensy colored plastic pieces with even teensier grainy black n white picture*
Boy: I'm sowwy. Here, I just took these out *holds out hands with fifteen orange pieces that look remarkably similar*
Me: Okay, why don't you go play while I put this together?
Boy: No! I want to help! *begins placing sticker on random piece*
Me: Ahh! Does that go there? Wait! Stop! I want to keep these in order *begins putting pieces on bed in semblance of order according to one tiny grainy black and white photo*
Boy: Okay! But I want to help! Can I help? *begins bouncing on bed, scattered recently ordered pieces*
Me: *near tears; puts items back in order; takes out stickers and holds instructions up to face* Okay, here, put this sticker.. here!
Boy: I can't do it! My hands are too big!
Me *thinking: HIS hands are too big?* Okay, here, I'll do it. *puts sticker on randomly. Pushes it til it's mostly aligned* Okay, why don't you sit OVER THERE and NOT MOVE while I do this?
Boy: Okay! *bounces on bed, scattering items* Oops. Where'd that screw go?
Me: Screw? There's only one screw! *frantically begins searching for missing screw, find it under large dog who now wants attention. Pat dog frenetically for a minute then tell him to go chill out*
Boy: *Pulling more pieces out* Here! I took these out!
Me: *sniffles back tears, takes pieces* Why don't you go play ELSEWHERE while I do this?
Boy: But I want to heeeeeeeeeeeelp! *small whine*
Me: *Begins trying to screw a screw that seems to be too big into teeny hole* Erk. This isn't working. Maybe we ought to wait on mom to come home *wondering how mom does it, and if I can take it to the store and pay THEM to put it together*
Boy: *whiiiiiiiiiiiiiine* I don't want to wait! Please, use your superstrength!
Me: *Wondering where superstrength is* I don't know, honey. I promise I'll try. Please go play with your fifty thousand OTHER beyblades that DON'T turn into cool-looking dragons while I put this together!
Boy: But, Miss Kaffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (what he calles me)
Me: *Frantically messages mom on yahoo messenger while trying to force screw into teeny hole*
Mom: Heh. Wait til I get home?
Me: He's so disappointed.
Mom: *disappears*
Me: *strips screw nearly all the way trying to fit it in* There! Whoohoo! Wait.. what, exactly is part number 3? Where is part number 3? *searches through random beyblade pieces that cover bed, since boy has brought in his collection of beyblades and is fitting random pieces to random parts*
Boy: I dunno. Look, Miss Kaffee! This fits here!
Me: *takes piece, takes deep breath, reminds herself he's just excited about his new beyblade and wondering why she didn't buy the damned oinking pig he originally wanted*
Boy: Uhh.. I put this new piece on this old beyblade, and it won't come off!
Me: *slightly angry now, I'm ashamed to say* Aahh! Why did you DO that?
Boy: It just snaps off! *defensive* (poor kid - he just wanted his toy, he didn't know Miss Kaffee was an idiot when it came to putting toys together)
Me: Okay. Please, honey. For the sake of my sanity, go play outside, in your room, watch TV, anything while I put this together!
Boy: Okay! *wanders off*
...
Boy: *returns thirty seconds later* Is it done yet?
Me: Here. The beyblade part is done. Now I have only to figure out the stupid dragon part.
Boy: Yayyyyyyy! *gathers up other beyblades and wanders happily off*
Me: what the hell is this part? These four pieces look nearly the same! I need to know the numbers! Why did he take them off when I asked him not to? Why am I talking to myself? Aaaahhh!
Boy: *wanders back in* Is the dragon done yet?
Me: Only if you want it to look like a head. No body.
Boy: No, thank you.
Me: Go play *gritting teeth, determined to put this thing together and finish it*
Boy: Okay! *wanders off*
Me: *figures everything out, puts dragon together, uses every piece and calls boy in*
Boy: YAAAAAAY! THANKS MISS KAFFEE! WOW!
Me: *smiles, anger gone, frustration still apparent* You're welcome. Go play honey.
...
Thirty seconds later:
Boy: Miss Kaffee! Where is the dragon's sword!?
Me: It was with the dragon. In it's claw. If you don't have it, you better look for it. I don't want to look at orange or brown plastic EVER again!
Boy: Found it! *wanders off to more than likely ruin new toy*
The end.