" you're a dickhead, you're a dickhead!" "Not one"
yelllooo.
I went to rons last night, with emily too, and they cheered me up a bit. with ronnie i always do gross stuff...like she'll suggest something with a twinkle in her eye, and i'll just have to do it. this time we recreated our very own goldmember scene where I peeled her skin and said 'this one's a keeper!' then she choke slammed me onto the bed. I had half a joint, and i was pretty much relaxed, we put some good music on and just chillled. then i fell asleep on ricks bed...no one even woke me up...grr. but i was shattered. I was STILL hungover!
burnt face man really makes me laugh...i just love quoting that and salad fingers...and catherine tate and goldmember...ahh. especially to ron, she is a funny child. she has a boyfriend now :-) he lives far away! but its so damn sweet...he is like how ronnie would be...if she were a man.
I think ronnie and I would make good men...not that I want to be one AT ALL.But Ronnie can properly down her cans of stella...I can do a great burp...heh. Sometimes I just want to sit like a man and belch and not care...though it wouldnt be a good idea in public :-D. ah, ron and em are great....we're a geek crew :-D you just have to quote stupid things and DO stupid things...pull stupid faces...but to us it comes quite naturally so yeah...
I was thinking about how lucky I am to have friends that relly care...like when chrispoops helped me at Reading, and Cassie is always there to talk to..
I want to start college tommorow so I dont have to think or feel anything.yesss that may sound like a contradiction, but in my book, if you read it then you would understand.
I should stop feeling so uurggh, because I'm lucky...I'm starting college, I get to study English art and music...my dream..I've got great friends and a house and food and clothing...when I try to put my life on a scale to people in third world countries, my life seems so easy.
so do you have to have everything to be happy? me, i've always said that i dont want to be able to have everything, because then I would have nothing to look forward to, nothing to strive for. I would feel as if I had everything if i had him, but the thing is, I'm thinking that you DONT need to have everything...you really dont. It makes me think about perfection, and how i really think that its made of flaws. its not an intellects perception...its just that, say, there might be a part of you're body that you don't like, but your partner might love it. it could be a scar, a burn, something you really hate or resent...but the other person likes it because its you...to touch it, to trace the outline, to indulge it. other people can teach you so much about yourself, sides you never saw before.
Ronnie says i should talk about my feelings, she says that she doesnt understand why people hide their feelings from each other. she doesnt seem to fear rejection at all! me,im extra cautious. some males are like that...when i broke up with dan last year, it was because my feelings were stronger for him than they were for me..then it turned out they werent...and it messed up. i spent so long trying to repair myself from it, a whole year! and i was so easily replaced. and since, i've had a relationship with no one, because i vowed to myself that its never just going to be for the sake of it...it has to mean something. i chew chew chew over things in my head, hoping to find some sense of it all. i bet men dont! they can totally switch off...go and do something 'manly'. maybe it would just be easier my whole life if i didnt have feelings for anyone!
he's going to get snapped up, and whoever catches him is lucky lucky lucky.
so what to do...i will do what i did last year...try to work really hard and get some decent grades! i'll be able to properly get into my music at last...not just two crap hours a week of it. I hope emily is aok...she has 3 bites on her face! aww. she is going to frame her picture too. I framed mine...and then sat on it :-D thats such a typical me thing to do. at least it didnt cut my bum. plus, the picture looks but better without glass over it, and glass gets dirty easily.
this is pretty much a long post because I'm not actually talking to anyone...no one's online, and they have college in't morn. so this is a long letter to myself, i havent written one in a long time. i think ill go now and read earlier entries...everything i used to write was so damn heartfelt all the time :-) kellie you pretentious thing. yesyesyes.
I went to rons last night, with emily too, and they cheered me up a bit. with ronnie i always do gross stuff...like she'll suggest something with a twinkle in her eye, and i'll just have to do it. this time we recreated our very own goldmember scene where I peeled her skin and said 'this one's a keeper!' then she choke slammed me onto the bed. I had half a joint, and i was pretty much relaxed, we put some good music on and just chillled. then i fell asleep on ricks bed...no one even woke me up...grr. but i was shattered. I was STILL hungover!
burnt face man really makes me laugh...i just love quoting that and salad fingers...and catherine tate and goldmember...ahh. especially to ron, she is a funny child. she has a boyfriend now :-) he lives far away! but its so damn sweet...he is like how ronnie would be...if she were a man.
I think ronnie and I would make good men...not that I want to be one AT ALL.But Ronnie can properly down her cans of stella...I can do a great burp...heh. Sometimes I just want to sit like a man and belch and not care...though it wouldnt be a good idea in public :-D. ah, ron and em are great....we're a geek crew :-D you just have to quote stupid things and DO stupid things...pull stupid faces...but to us it comes quite naturally so yeah...
I was thinking about how lucky I am to have friends that relly care...like when chrispoops helped me at Reading, and Cassie is always there to talk to..
I want to start college tommorow so I dont have to think or feel anything.yesss that may sound like a contradiction, but in my book, if you read it then you would understand.
I should stop feeling so uurggh, because I'm lucky...I'm starting college, I get to study English art and music...my dream..I've got great friends and a house and food and clothing...when I try to put my life on a scale to people in third world countries, my life seems so easy.
so do you have to have everything to be happy? me, i've always said that i dont want to be able to have everything, because then I would have nothing to look forward to, nothing to strive for. I would feel as if I had everything if i had him, but the thing is, I'm thinking that you DONT need to have everything...you really dont. It makes me think about perfection, and how i really think that its made of flaws. its not an intellects perception...its just that, say, there might be a part of you're body that you don't like, but your partner might love it. it could be a scar, a burn, something you really hate or resent...but the other person likes it because its you...to touch it, to trace the outline, to indulge it. other people can teach you so much about yourself, sides you never saw before.
Ronnie says i should talk about my feelings, she says that she doesnt understand why people hide their feelings from each other. she doesnt seem to fear rejection at all! me,im extra cautious. some males are like that...when i broke up with dan last year, it was because my feelings were stronger for him than they were for me..then it turned out they werent...and it messed up. i spent so long trying to repair myself from it, a whole year! and i was so easily replaced. and since, i've had a relationship with no one, because i vowed to myself that its never just going to be for the sake of it...it has to mean something. i chew chew chew over things in my head, hoping to find some sense of it all. i bet men dont! they can totally switch off...go and do something 'manly'. maybe it would just be easier my whole life if i didnt have feelings for anyone!
he's going to get snapped up, and whoever catches him is lucky lucky lucky.
so what to do...i will do what i did last year...try to work really hard and get some decent grades! i'll be able to properly get into my music at last...not just two crap hours a week of it. I hope emily is aok...she has 3 bites on her face! aww. she is going to frame her picture too. I framed mine...and then sat on it :-D thats such a typical me thing to do. at least it didnt cut my bum. plus, the picture looks but better without glass over it, and glass gets dirty easily.
this is pretty much a long post because I'm not actually talking to anyone...no one's online, and they have college in't morn. so this is a long letter to myself, i havent written one in a long time. i think ill go now and read earlier entries...everything i used to write was so damn heartfelt all the time :-) kellie you pretentious thing. yesyesyes.