(no subject)
I was getting ready to go out when my mum called me to the window. There was this awful noise, like screaming, and they're cutting down the tree I walk past everyday because its interfering with the plans to build new houses, the roots are getting in the way. Strangely enough, I walked to the bus stop and big men are planting huge yellow tubes into the ground, to feed all the families with water, the way the tree feeds us our daily oxygen. Today I realized I’m in love with everyone, with everything. I keep finding myself in picturesque places. Rivers, and cities, a modern love for the night. Yesterday I was nervous about seeing you again, but you welcomed me in, and I like the way we never change. Everything we do never changes. I dropped some money down the drain on the way home so I had to walk. I spared a penny for you; I threw it deep into the river from the edge of the wall. I wished a final time, I wished for you with all my heart. The torment you put me through, or more the torment I put myself through for you existence. I know you aren’t really worth it at all. The city lights and buildings were just glass and I’m frightened that the politics of this world will blow them away and shatter them. There will be a huge bowl and the people who are left can start again to build something pure. A quick death at the near end of the world is my perfect way to die. Short. Sharp. Not enough time for you to be the last thing I think of, the last face I long for. To be shot is my worst fear, yet I’d rather be shot at and fall to the ground than die a slow cancerous death with time to reflect and regret. One day soon you'll notice me doing what I do best and for a second, you'll want me. I hung on to that thought as I climbed onto the bus. When I got off, and turned the corner, my tree was bald and embarrassed, a jaundiced hand reaching up to the sky, pleading to die. You took my leaves and skin. You deprived us our oxygen. The least you can do is shoot me now. I no longer want to find a cure for my cancer if this is what you're really like.