Jordan's Live Journal
The inspiration for my live journalling is Jordan Lewis' journal "extremeism". Not only does he bless us with his wit and humor every so often, he also is the one that desperatly searched for the code I needed to register. Furthermore, I guess starred in his journal and I will open mine with that post. Thanks dogg.
(as it originally appeared in extremeism)
The Good Kind of Joint
Below is a joint collaboration between myself and Eric. Together the two of us make up the same caliber team as Woodward and Bernstein. I will not distinguish exactly who wrote what, but I will tell you this, Eric writes about much smarter things than me. Enjoy!
As I sit here in my studio apartment, all by myself, quiet as a church service (remember? it's opposite day), one question is burning my brain. Why is this day so important? I've written many journal entries about holidays and I always start off by saying they are worthless excuses for celebration, and then at the end I pull a 360 (Megan) and say they are splendid. This holiday, however, is not anything like that.
This holiday doesn't deserve a name on the calendar. If they put New Years Day on the calendar, they should mark a special day for March 15 or June 28. Doesn't the January 1st date give you a huge hint that it's the first day of the year? "Hey, everybody! I was just looking at the calendar yesterday and realized it's November 23rd! Golly, good thing I looked, I would have never known!"
Right now there are about 20 men, women and children crammed into my little house trying desperately to have a good time. Why do they need to try so desperately? Because there aren't any cute little New Year's Eve movies, there aren't New Year's Eve trees, there aren't New Year's Eve lights you put on your house, you don't sing silly New Year's Eve songs, you don't dress up, you don't get anything, you don't even have a New Year's Eve dinner. You celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas. You celebrate the resurrection of Jesus on Easter. You celebrate the spirit of love on Valentines Day. You celebrate drinking on St. Patrick's Day. What do you celebrate on New Year's Eve? 12:00. Stay up all night, drinking beer, playing games and waiting for that one special moment when the clock goes from 11:59 to 12:00. From 12:00 to 12:05 you sing songs and kiss madly, after that, it's over. Let's go home, the holiday is over. Damn, I was in the bathroom, did I miss it?
This Christmas my family had a total of ZERO people over Christmas Eve. They played even less games and we went to bed at 10:00. Why? Why didn't we count down the minutes? For one because Santa won't come when boys and girls are out of bed, but mostly because Christmas doesn't need the hoopla. Do you dance around when the clock strikes 12? No. Do you belt out the numbers 1-10 in reverse, climaxing with an ear piercing exclamation of MERRY CHRISTMAS? No. Once the 12th hour strikes do you passionately kiss the person closest? I hope not. Why? Because Christmas doesn't need the hoopla, it is a self-contained holiday. We celebrate Jesus birth, which gives us reason to celebrate life, love, joy, giving, and hope. New Years Day celebrates…a new year, which gives us reason to celebrate…a new year? Maybe we celebrate the fact that it's a new year, which means we'll get another birthday, but I doubt it. We might as well celebrate Wednesday I mean COME ON GUYS! It's WEDNESDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKE. We can look forward to the new year from that Wednesday on. Everyday is the beginning of another 365 days, who cares if you write 02 or 03 after the second dash?
Speaking of stupid holidays, there are a ton of them. In fact so many that as Jordan was pick random days out of his head in sarcasm he happened to mention one. Anybody know that March 15th is "The Ides of March"? If not then BE INFORMED cause I'm having a party, a good luck party in fact. The "Ides of March" has more reason than New Years Day to be celebrated though, something happened. About a week before Caesar was brutally murdered in Pompey's theater on March 15th he was warned "Beware the Ides of March". The Caesarian calendar is hecka confusing though, and that may have been his problem. See, they don't number things like normal people (of course, we are the normal ones) they number things wrong (because anything unlike me is wrong). I'll give you a quick history lesson. No, that's a lie, I just tell you how they numbered their days. They had three foundations for their numbering system. The Kalends is the first day of the month, the Nones is the 5th or the 7th, and the Ides is either the 13th or the 15th. Confused? Good. Not done yet. They still don't use numbers for the rest of the days. They count in days before one of these "special" days. So the 9th of March would be "6 Days Before the Ides of March" which somehow was easier to say than "The 9th". I know this only because I know the Ides of March is the 15th. How do I know this? A rhyme. March, July, October, May, the Nones fall on the 7th day. Months with the Nones on the 7th day also have the Ides on the 15th. Now, I'm assuming Caesar was too good for a rhyme and thought he could depend on his political brain to remember when the Ides was the 15th and when the Ides was the 13th. I'll tell you now you can never be too good for a rhyme. I bet on the 13th Caesar was hidden under his bed with a teddy bear and a blanket because in MOST months the Ides is on the 13th. He got on his high horse the next day thinking he had escape fate like those kids in "Final Destination" but nope. On the 15th he was celebrating life, "I CHEATED DEATH!" he would exclaim every few minutes according to eyewitnesses, every few minutes 'til he was stabbed to death by his dawgs. "You too Brutes?" "Yep, me too, idiot. Learn how to read a freaking calendar, learn the rhyme."
Is it fate that Jordan pulled March 15th out of his butt when thinking of random days? I think not, considering he also randomly thought of November 23rd…MY BIRTHDAY. It was meant to be my friends. It.
I leave you with this: Beware the Ides of March, but above all remember one thing: March, July, October, May, the Nones fall on the 7th day
(as it originally appeared in extremeism)
The Good Kind of Joint
Below is a joint collaboration between myself and Eric. Together the two of us make up the same caliber team as Woodward and Bernstein. I will not distinguish exactly who wrote what, but I will tell you this, Eric writes about much smarter things than me. Enjoy!
As I sit here in my studio apartment, all by myself, quiet as a church service (remember? it's opposite day), one question is burning my brain. Why is this day so important? I've written many journal entries about holidays and I always start off by saying they are worthless excuses for celebration, and then at the end I pull a 360 (Megan) and say they are splendid. This holiday, however, is not anything like that.
This holiday doesn't deserve a name on the calendar. If they put New Years Day on the calendar, they should mark a special day for March 15 or June 28. Doesn't the January 1st date give you a huge hint that it's the first day of the year? "Hey, everybody! I was just looking at the calendar yesterday and realized it's November 23rd! Golly, good thing I looked, I would have never known!"
Right now there are about 20 men, women and children crammed into my little house trying desperately to have a good time. Why do they need to try so desperately? Because there aren't any cute little New Year's Eve movies, there aren't New Year's Eve trees, there aren't New Year's Eve lights you put on your house, you don't sing silly New Year's Eve songs, you don't dress up, you don't get anything, you don't even have a New Year's Eve dinner. You celebrate the birth of Jesus on Christmas. You celebrate the resurrection of Jesus on Easter. You celebrate the spirit of love on Valentines Day. You celebrate drinking on St. Patrick's Day. What do you celebrate on New Year's Eve? 12:00. Stay up all night, drinking beer, playing games and waiting for that one special moment when the clock goes from 11:59 to 12:00. From 12:00 to 12:05 you sing songs and kiss madly, after that, it's over. Let's go home, the holiday is over. Damn, I was in the bathroom, did I miss it?
This Christmas my family had a total of ZERO people over Christmas Eve. They played even less games and we went to bed at 10:00. Why? Why didn't we count down the minutes? For one because Santa won't come when boys and girls are out of bed, but mostly because Christmas doesn't need the hoopla. Do you dance around when the clock strikes 12? No. Do you belt out the numbers 1-10 in reverse, climaxing with an ear piercing exclamation of MERRY CHRISTMAS? No. Once the 12th hour strikes do you passionately kiss the person closest? I hope not. Why? Because Christmas doesn't need the hoopla, it is a self-contained holiday. We celebrate Jesus birth, which gives us reason to celebrate life, love, joy, giving, and hope. New Years Day celebrates…a new year, which gives us reason to celebrate…a new year? Maybe we celebrate the fact that it's a new year, which means we'll get another birthday, but I doubt it. We might as well celebrate Wednesday I mean COME ON GUYS! It's WEDNESDAY FOR GOODNESS SAKE. We can look forward to the new year from that Wednesday on. Everyday is the beginning of another 365 days, who cares if you write 02 or 03 after the second dash?
Speaking of stupid holidays, there are a ton of them. In fact so many that as Jordan was pick random days out of his head in sarcasm he happened to mention one. Anybody know that March 15th is "The Ides of March"? If not then BE INFORMED cause I'm having a party, a good luck party in fact. The "Ides of March" has more reason than New Years Day to be celebrated though, something happened. About a week before Caesar was brutally murdered in Pompey's theater on March 15th he was warned "Beware the Ides of March". The Caesarian calendar is hecka confusing though, and that may have been his problem. See, they don't number things like normal people (of course, we are the normal ones) they number things wrong (because anything unlike me is wrong). I'll give you a quick history lesson. No, that's a lie, I just tell you how they numbered their days. They had three foundations for their numbering system. The Kalends is the first day of the month, the Nones is the 5th or the 7th, and the Ides is either the 13th or the 15th. Confused? Good. Not done yet. They still don't use numbers for the rest of the days. They count in days before one of these "special" days. So the 9th of March would be "6 Days Before the Ides of March" which somehow was easier to say than "The 9th". I know this only because I know the Ides of March is the 15th. How do I know this? A rhyme. March, July, October, May, the Nones fall on the 7th day. Months with the Nones on the 7th day also have the Ides on the 15th. Now, I'm assuming Caesar was too good for a rhyme and thought he could depend on his political brain to remember when the Ides was the 15th and when the Ides was the 13th. I'll tell you now you can never be too good for a rhyme. I bet on the 13th Caesar was hidden under his bed with a teddy bear and a blanket because in MOST months the Ides is on the 13th. He got on his high horse the next day thinking he had escape fate like those kids in "Final Destination" but nope. On the 15th he was celebrating life, "I CHEATED DEATH!" he would exclaim every few minutes according to eyewitnesses, every few minutes 'til he was stabbed to death by his dawgs. "You too Brutes?" "Yep, me too, idiot. Learn how to read a freaking calendar, learn the rhyme."
Is it fate that Jordan pulled March 15th out of his butt when thinking of random days? I think not, considering he also randomly thought of November 23rd…MY BIRTHDAY. It was meant to be my friends. It.
I leave you with this: Beware the Ides of March, but above all remember one thing: March, July, October, May, the Nones fall on the 7th day