(no subject)
is it ok to feel angry ? and If so is ok to act on that anger .. in a Positive way ? is there a positive way to act on it ?
I say all this not because I am angry but I know I am going to be . I have spent most of my Adult life claiming I have forgiven someone for what they did to me , but I still Hate them with every ounce of myself . I still am angry for what happened , and how I was not protected the way I should have been . I am ready to work through this . I am tired of thinking about it everyday . Dreaming about it every night , and praying that it will never happen again. As ready as I am to work through things things .. I am also scared . scared that when I do I will start feeling those feelings again . Scared that I will just transfer my anger to someone eles .
But as much as that all scared me I am EVEN MORE scared that this will controll the rest of my life , that I will never overcome this , and it will alway be apart of who I am .
I am tired of hanging on to it . tired of living it .
I say all this not because I am angry but I know I am going to be . I have spent most of my Adult life claiming I have forgiven someone for what they did to me , but I still Hate them with every ounce of myself . I still am angry for what happened , and how I was not protected the way I should have been . I am ready to work through this . I am tired of thinking about it everyday . Dreaming about it every night , and praying that it will never happen again. As ready as I am to work through things things .. I am also scared . scared that when I do I will start feeling those feelings again . Scared that I will just transfer my anger to someone eles .
But as much as that all scared me I am EVEN MORE scared that this will controll the rest of my life , that I will never overcome this , and it will alway be apart of who I am .
I am tired of hanging on to it . tired of living it .