(no subject)
I feel so unstable right now . In EVERY aspect . I feel unstable in what I belive in , I feel unstable in who I belive in .
How do i know that I know that I know that I am right .
How do I know that people are going to be there for me ? How do I know that people really do care and aren't just going to leave me hanging ? how Do I know that I am making the right choices ?
I don't . This is what scares me . I fear being alone .but yet when I get upset I push everyone away , but no one will push back . It's my way of testeing people to see if they care for me . I fear not loving enough an not being enough for people . I fear putting my faith in the wrong places and in the wrong people . I have put my faith in a totally wrong place before on several occasions and it just ends up being shattered a I just fear .. I live in a constant state of fear . . it shatters me .
I am tired of being shattered . I am tired of rebuilding . I am tired . I am tired of fearing what I fear . I am ready yo put and end to it all . I am ready to just be the happy girl I am most of the time . The girl that everyone sees on the outside . The girl that even though she couldn't make herself happy or smile she could make you .
I am just ready ..
How do i know that I know that I know that I am right .
How do I know that people are going to be there for me ? How do I know that people really do care and aren't just going to leave me hanging ? how Do I know that I am making the right choices ?
I don't . This is what scares me . I fear being alone .but yet when I get upset I push everyone away , but no one will push back . It's my way of testeing people to see if they care for me . I fear not loving enough an not being enough for people . I fear putting my faith in the wrong places and in the wrong people . I have put my faith in a totally wrong place before on several occasions and it just ends up being shattered a I just fear .. I live in a constant state of fear . . it shatters me .
I am tired of being shattered . I am tired of rebuilding . I am tired . I am tired of fearing what I fear . I am ready yo put and end to it all . I am ready to just be the happy girl I am most of the time . The girl that everyone sees on the outside . The girl that even though she couldn't make herself happy or smile she could make you .
I am just ready ..