Numbers
Okay, a few numbers from tonight particularly memorable six hour shift at the drugstore. "But Colleen, why was it particularly memorable?" I hear you asking. Well, let me enlighten you.
THE DAMN AIR CONDITIONER IS BROKEN.
Temperature difference between store and outside: 10 degrees cooler (outdoors)
Number of irate staff members inside: 4
Boxes of K&F order to be processed: 14
Number that were actually processed: 3
Number of bottles of water consumed by me: 9
Number consumed by entire night staff: 34
Number of bottles of Gatorade* consumed in total: 6
Number of other beverages consumed in total: 8
Number of times Wendy remarked "If I was ten years younger I'd take my top off.": 11
Number of times Wendy said "You know, this isn't just menopause.": 8
Number of customers who DIDN'T make a comment about the heat: 3
Number of prank phone calls made by Colleen and Wendy to Ryan: 2
Number of prank phone calls made in total: 12
Number of inappropriate phone messages left for other staff members on their home phones: 9
Number of these messages that were for Ryan: 3
Number of dogs seen in the store tonight: 4
Number of dog owners who said "We have to leave, it's too hot for (Fifi, Killer, Buttons, Craig)": 3
Number of nasty comments made about the boss who not let us close: upwards of 60
Number of ceiling fans in operation: 13
Number of other fans: 3
Number of times a customer remarked "Jeez, you should have some fans on in here.": 2
Number of customers Colleen nearly killed: between 1-100
Number of customers Colleen actually got to kill: 0
Number of customers who made Colleen smile: 3
Number of said customers who were pirates: 1
Number of times Colleen went on break: 4
Number of breaks that were permitted: 2
Number of minutes left in shift before Colleen broke down and took off her smock: 42
Number of times Colleen's mother came to pick her up, forgot her and drove away again: 1
Number of customers that came back later and brought staff lemonade: 1
Number of customers that should be made saints: 1
Number of times lottery machine fucked up and was stupid: 4
Number of times Colleen swore: around 65
Number of times customers heard Colleen swear: 4
Number of times Amanda caught Colleen talking to herself: 2
Number of times Colleen caught Amanda talking to herself: 3
Number of times Amanda and Wendy mocked Colleen for taking the weekend off because a book is coming out: between 7-12
Number of minutes Colleen read it takes for a core temperature of a human to normalize after spending more than 1.5 hours in the heat: 140
Number of boxes of chocolate bars left on the shelf: 0
Number of boxes of chocolate jammed into the pop coolers: 36
Number of boxes of chocolate bars that needed to be thrown out: 1
Number of phone calls recieved from boss following lines of "Is that damn air thing working right yet?": 6
Number of negative answers he recieved: 6
Number of times Wendy swore at him: 5
Number of staff who vowed to take a cold shower as soon as they got home: 4
Number of staff who also swore to a cold beer: 1; many, many times
Number of seperate parts of her body that Colleen now has heat rash on: 4
Number of pieces of clothing Colleen is now wearing: 2
Number of people who have commented on this thus far: 2
And wouldn't you know it, today was the first day in ages I didn't wear a tank top to work...
[* because when you sweat, you sweat more than just water....]