(no subject)
Oh its grand the things you will do for the welfare of people you don’t know.
I pulled in to my apartment complex tonight at about 1150pm, totally oblivious to the world. I was turning my obnoxiously loud steering wheel slowly, even completely stopping and break driving into my stall as to not make myself noticed. It wasn’t until I was getting out that I see my neighbor in her car, bags packed and nicely stacked in the passenger seat, talking on the phone, head against the steering wheel. I was immediately shocked that I hadn’t see her until now, hadn’t been aware of the exhaust from her car. Someone could have been beaten in the grass by the dumpster near us and I wouldn’t have had a clue until questioned. I proceeded to gather my things…being diligent. By her expressions, or lack of, I didn’t want to interfere…or lead off I wanted to…in front of her. I climbed the three sets of stairs and walked into my home. I had a reflection of “growing up” and decided I’m not actually moved out of my parents house…I’m just in a bedroom separated by streets and houses, that takes a 10 minute duration until I can sit at the kitchen table with my folks. Afterwards I sat at my computer, checked my email, fiddled around, and played some music. And then I got this urge to see if she’s still depressed looking in the car. She is. And I’m sure she can see me, even though she’s not looking up. She can tell I’m there, through the curtains…through the blinds. I’m staring, watching her shoulders pull her back and then forward again, until shes pressing her head against that steering wheel. I had just watched cheaters a while ago and thought of my camera and my zoom lens. I connected it, turned it on and attempted to reposition the blinds and curtains so I could see her through a tunnel of mirrors to better understand her distress. I sat there for about 5 minutes. Nervous the entire time that she was going to look directly at me at any moment. She didn’t. Instead she pulled herself together, got out of the car and began the trip to come upstairs. As I sat back from being on my knees I sort of sighed. I just spied on this girl…perhaps I’m too nosey for my own good. But nosey didn’t seem to fit. I realized that even though I had no idea what was going on…I wasn’t trying to find out. I was only making an attempt to watch over her. Why? I still do not know. Maybe my imagination felt deprived and went on to think she was in trouble or trapped in sadness. I only know that I felt better that she had come home, put her things down and locked the door. Its comforting…its comforting and I’ve rarely spoken to her. Comforting she’s ok, safe, alright…and I don’t even know her name. She lives below me, and because she’s going to bed too…I can sleep
I pulled in to my apartment complex tonight at about 1150pm, totally oblivious to the world. I was turning my obnoxiously loud steering wheel slowly, even completely stopping and break driving into my stall as to not make myself noticed. It wasn’t until I was getting out that I see my neighbor in her car, bags packed and nicely stacked in the passenger seat, talking on the phone, head against the steering wheel. I was immediately shocked that I hadn’t see her until now, hadn’t been aware of the exhaust from her car. Someone could have been beaten in the grass by the dumpster near us and I wouldn’t have had a clue until questioned. I proceeded to gather my things…being diligent. By her expressions, or lack of, I didn’t want to interfere…or lead off I wanted to…in front of her. I climbed the three sets of stairs and walked into my home. I had a reflection of “growing up” and decided I’m not actually moved out of my parents house…I’m just in a bedroom separated by streets and houses, that takes a 10 minute duration until I can sit at the kitchen table with my folks. Afterwards I sat at my computer, checked my email, fiddled around, and played some music. And then I got this urge to see if she’s still depressed looking in the car. She is. And I’m sure she can see me, even though she’s not looking up. She can tell I’m there, through the curtains…through the blinds. I’m staring, watching her shoulders pull her back and then forward again, until shes pressing her head against that steering wheel. I had just watched cheaters a while ago and thought of my camera and my zoom lens. I connected it, turned it on and attempted to reposition the blinds and curtains so I could see her through a tunnel of mirrors to better understand her distress. I sat there for about 5 minutes. Nervous the entire time that she was going to look directly at me at any moment. She didn’t. Instead she pulled herself together, got out of the car and began the trip to come upstairs. As I sat back from being on my knees I sort of sighed. I just spied on this girl…perhaps I’m too nosey for my own good. But nosey didn’t seem to fit. I realized that even though I had no idea what was going on…I wasn’t trying to find out. I was only making an attempt to watch over her. Why? I still do not know. Maybe my imagination felt deprived and went on to think she was in trouble or trapped in sadness. I only know that I felt better that she had come home, put her things down and locked the door. Its comforting…its comforting and I’ve rarely spoken to her. Comforting she’s ok, safe, alright…and I don’t even know her name. She lives below me, and because she’s going to bed too…I can sleep