Chapter 5 - ~Confession~
Title: Beneath the Shadow of a Doubt
Author: Max - unatral_kreatur
Pairing: Daniel/Jared (not caricatures, of my own invention)
Rating: M - MA
Prompt: Implied Violence
Category: Silent Hill Fan Fiction
Disclaimers: Amateur writing, do forgive me!
Status: In development, updated regularly but not in full.
Summary: Daniel makes a confession after Jared poses a simple question!
Prequel/Sequel: Sequel in development
Feedback: Yes, Please!
As Jared cleaned the dishes, as after all they could not afford a dishwasher, Daniel stood back enjoying a green tea as per Jared’s insistence. Things had been pleasantly quiet for the past five minutes but that was soon not the case as Jared posed the strangest question.
“Is there anything you feel like telling me, you know, like something you’ve never told me before?” Daniel was puzzled and the silence returned again. “Seriously, I’m just asking because after what I asked this morning I know there is a lot you’ve never told. Like whenever I bring up your father or really anything from before we met you turn into a mute. I’ve always thought that I should just leave it be but it bothers me that you don’t seem to be able trust me with it. I know it’s clichéd but you can tell me anything!”
“Mmm…” Daniel was just barely able to strangle out that very syllable. Jared did not want it to deteriorate into what had occurred in their last conversation, offence jumping from one party to the other.
“Ok, well I know that was a lot for you to get out,” he joked. Daniel chuckled very softly on response. “Well can I ask you rather than you going through everything ‘cause I do guess the having to go though the whole story may be a little more upsetting?”
“M’kay” Daniel replied extremely quietly.
That impossible silence returned while Jared tried to think of the least offensive question he could think of. A sharp inhale indicated he was ready to speak, he always seemed to do that, it was like the habitual cough before one gave a speech.
“Alright, where is your Dad, is like still alive or did he pass away or something?” he suddenly felt a burning feeling of guilt twinge in the back of his neck, maybe I should just leave it, I’m probably being way to invasive now!
“Well, he’s in a home,” Daniel’s answer was frank, emotionless almost, “look it’s a long story and… I do-don’t feel u-up to i-i-it”
Daniel’s voice was breaking as he resisted the sudden need to cry. Jared rushed to him quickly, sweeping him up in his arms.
“It’s Ok, really don’t worry. I should’ve just left it be” he stroked his hand through Daniel’s hair.
“You don’t get it, I put him there!” he was now crying full on into Jared’s bare chest, the clear crystals grew from a roll to a cascade.
“As in you got him committed?” the only times Daniel ever came this close to taking comfort in Jared where his hysterical night terrors.
“NO!” he cried, gripping Jared tighter, “You’d never look at me the same if you knew. HELL, you’d never look at me again!”
Such a comment was almost insulting, he had not loved anyone as deeply, as passionately, as purely. Nothing, or at least he felt that nothing could possibly be strong enough to make him question the bond they had created.
This in mind, he pulled Daniel away from him and looked him sternly in the eyes, “Nothing! Hear Me, Nothing! Could. Do. That! …I promise.” his voice died away hoping he had not been too aggressive.
“Ok, bu-but I think y-you should b-be sitting d-down when y-you hear!”
~*~
Rather shakily, Daniel explained he had spent most of his childhood moving from town to town with his father. He explained that though his father was an extremely religious man, saying this was probably the reason he was so vehemently not religious.
“He was a vile man, two things fuelled him; Religion and Alcohol! And guess what bred from these two dependencies?” his voice was affluent with contempt, “Intolerance! Or rather bigotry. You see there is no greater shame then the child you’ve detested for simply being there as you’ve selfishly dragged him around for four years being a faggot.”
The coarse scorn that filled the word actually hurt Jared, Daniel saw the way it seemed to wound him and apologized immediately.
“I’m sorry, but that was how it was like with that man. There was no one he was crueller to than me, isn’t that depressing. The only person he could hurt was hid own child which has always made me wonder what it would be like to have a mother but that’s a whole other pity party!”
He was obviously about to reach the climax of his story because he paused to gather himself.
“So his usual verbal abuse turned to aggressive violence upon learning that his only son was a fag-… was gay. It’s funny, he didn’t get as aggressive like that until we moved here to Brahams. He… well… I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this!”
Jared could not stand to be left hanging like this, Daniel had never been so open so as tactfully as he could he attempted to cajole Daniel into finishing. It took about five minutes but Daniel reluctantly continued.
“Well one day, actually I remember the day perfectly. It was, uh… my birthday,” Jared suddenly did not like where this was heading, “I think we had been living in Brahams for like eight months and it was my thirteenth birthday. Dad got extremely drunk and came home at five in the afternoon with the bottle of vodka in his hand. I tell you now, I can’t walk past a “don’t smoke” sign without thinking of the smell of cigarettes from the tavern on him that day. He started yelling obscenities, said he should take me home… I should burn with the “rest”. Home had taken the rest of my family apparently. I couldn’t make sense of what he was saying until he said that there wasn’t enough time for me to burn so he’d do it himself!” his face was twisting into the most uncomfortable expression of disgust, “He smashed the bottle and started brandishing it at me. I’ll tell you now, a drunk may be far less coordinated but when they’re on top of you they’re hell of a lot stronger.”
“Oh my God,” Jared had definitely got more than he bargained for; the contortion of his face that tripled the twisting of his insides was a dead giveaway.
Daniel took a deep breath and all recognisable emotion was drained from his face, his face was blank like he was in a trance, completely still with eyes that did not waver from their gaze of nothing.
“Soon that broken bottle found its way into my chest,” it was like he was a newsreader telling the story with frank indifference, “it apparently quickly resulted in a collapsed lung. I eventually was able to throw him off of me…”
Jared felt so nauseous and, fearing what the outcome was decided he would fill the silence with the ending that would be the most pleasant, “And I assume that’s when the police came, arrested him, and sent him to a mental institution!”
“Actually, the latter applied to myself.”
“WHAT?” Jared fought himself to understand. Maybe I should just ask him to stop, I don’t like where this is heading! But Jared’s nature denied him the leisure, rather posing another question. “Please explain! I mean, how could they commit you, did they arrest him, what happened to him? I just don’t understand!”
“Be careful, you’re crossing a fine line!”
“I just want to understand”
“Very well,” Daniel continued in his vacant detached tone, “they did not arrest my father because he was in neither a fit mental nor physical state to survive prison, in fact he barely survived the ambulance trip to the hospital!”
Jared thought that perhaps his father suffered alcohol poisoning, but that just didn’t make sense. Then a sudden realisation tore his insides into a dozen pieces.
“You see, he was not committed to a mental institution because he wasn’t being committed for his attempted murder. He was placed in a home for those of invalid body, you know, cripples. Oh, and of course the dementia played a role.”
“Daniel! You’re not making any goddamn sense!”
Daniel’s eyes snapped towards him, the first time he had actually looked at Jared since he begun made Jared literally recoil.
“A chain of events that followed after I threw him off me led to his impotence. First I took the bottle and smashed it over his face, and then I bashed his head against the floor, I believe… five times which resulted in a concussion. But what really screwed him over was the blood loss caused by the thirteen stab wounds that I left in him. His concussion meant parts of his brain swelled but the loss of blood when the ambulance was transporting him seriously deprived his bruised brain and the brain damage that followed left him permanently intellectually impaired! They had to perform surgery on him because the stab wounds caused organ failure. However that was not all, his high blood alcohol content plus a severely damaged liver meant the vodka was literally going straight to his head. He suffered a stroke on the operating table, so when he did survive the procedure he did not have the capacity to comprehend it not to mention he completely lost all feeling on the right side of his body!”
Jared gaped, pale skin that would put chemo patient to shame, struggled not to vomit.
Thiscantbefuckinghappening!Danielcouldntpossiblyhavedonethat!Hecouldntharmafly!NeverNeverNeverNEVER!
Daniel’s face was resentful, but his eyes never broke sight with Jared, “Oh, but you wanted all the details. So really-”
“I just want to understand so I can be there for you, so I can… help you.”
“Five years of therapy and sedatives couldn’t help me! What makes you think you can do better than that!!!”
“Because,” he went to touch Daniel’s hand but recoiled as a sudden explosive blare resounded around the room. They both turned, shocked, to the source as the kitchen tap bounced off the roof on a fountain that spewed from the bared pipe. Jared rushed to grab a tea towel to stuff into the pipe. There was so much racket as he shouted for Daniel to hurry and call the landlady as well as a plumber he barely heard Daniel muttered in a fretful slur “I’mSorryIDidn’tMeanToICouldn’tHelpItItWasAnAccident!”
~*~