I Wish I Never Saw The Sunshine...
...Then Maybe I Wouldn't Mind The Rain
Tagged By ckll
It's time for a meme.
The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag 8 people to do the same.
DAY 8
Today was not my day. Nothing was done to me, nothing happened, just nothing. I feel gross. I feel disgusting. I look gross. I'm lonely. I am jealous of everyone all the time. I will see a couple being affectionate and I will hate them. I will see someone smiling and I will be mad at them. I am incapable of thinking nice sweet things anymore. I never hold good faith in peoples word. I don't beleive people are capable of nice things, I know they can but I don't beleive it. I can't even be happy for my own aunt. I can't be happy she is married to one of the sweetest men I have ever met. I refuse to beleive that she is in it for his love. I can't blind myself to the fact that she is in that marriage for his extremely deep wallet! She started dating him days after she broke up with her ex she intended to marry. My lovely aunt is a golddigger and I shouldn't think that, shouldn't know that! But the bitterness that I feel will not allow me to be happy for them, for me, for anyone.
I think it's evident why I'm so jaded right now. It's that I'm lonely, I'm jealous of those who get to experience the affection I desire. I do have the love of my parents, I have the love of my friends, I cannot ever say that I am genuinely alone. yes I have the love of family, friends but thats not the love I so want to share! I want to express the affection I feel. I love but my feelings are like a rose, it needs care, attention, recognition, but that's exactly what it's not getting so it's wilting. Decaying into a wilted husk of resentment..
Ok hold up! I am still in High School! All this I suppose is my emotions amplified because I'm feeling miserable but I'm lonely and that's a fact!
Everything I have said hasn't been calculated or considered so it's not only rambling, it might not make any sense!
So I shall go distract myself from my troubles, from my aching head, with my Suoernatural and an unhealthally large bowl of ice cream! No wonder I feel disgusting, I know I won't stay skinny for very long!
I just realised that the point of this post was that it is the final "What Made You Happy Today" meme. Today I am happy that Christmas is almost here. I can force myself to feel pleseant and well i dnt know. maybe i will finish my story like i told myself i would...
If I'm lonely would you hold me? Would You Kiss Me? Would You Love Me?
...I didn't think so
Tags
prelude_of_ruin
jaobsessed
jeuneromantique
girlluvsguns
darkalessa
causette
wiccaqueen
tilly_rose_star