Now and Forever...Itsumademo... - Chapter 23

[unare_haineko]

Title: Now and Forever…いつまでも…

Author: Unare Haineko

Pairing: [Juntoshi] Matsumoto Jun x Ohno Satoshi

Rating: R-ish, but NC-17 for this chapter

Summary: [Revised] Three years after the ending of ‘Kodoku kara Umareta Ai’, we have Juntoshi trying to raise their son Ayumu while the demons from the dark shadows that separated Arashi in KodoAi come back to

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Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 4

[mmestrange]

All of which points to several questions.
(06) Why is Iris so insistent on offering to go with Sho? What is she hoping to uncover to use against Sho? Why is she doing this? What does she stand to gain?

(07) Will Sho’s dissatisfaction with himself away from the disbanded Arashi result in him destroying himself? It seems likely given how it seems like Sho believes he has nothing left outside the band and is stuck in a rut.

(08) Since he has taken out his anger and resentment of Arashi’s disbandment on Aiba, it may be safe to conclude that Sho blames his current funk career wise etc on the disbandment of Arashi. It gives rise to the question as to whether Sho ever saw the band members as individuals rather than as a support group through which he received affirmation and a means of bolstering his self confidence?

(09) Will Sho eventually realise his resentment is more against himself for being powerless with the other Arashi members to back him up rather than any real resentment against the band per se? Under what circumstances will he realise this?

The Stove
A clearer indication of this may be gleamed from the scene Sho returns home to. The flat is silent and the stove is on but not lit. Aiba turns on the stove, but it is implied that he failed to light it (remember, he claimed he was making pancakes with no flour - which is possible if you use egg whites). That is representative of his relationship with Sho from his perspective. Aiba is on edge and can be set off with the slightest strike of the flint, therefore he is like the stove that has been turned on. Indeed, this looks very likely given how Aiba is on a path towards the destruction of himself and Sho. I will discuss this in greater detail when I come to the subsection on Aiba. For now, let us return to the significance of the stove.

If Aiba is the stove that is on, then Sho is the match or flint that will light the stove. We already have indication that the Sakuraiba relationship is volatile and liable to blow up in both their faces. For the moment, however, it seems Sho has nipped the potential blow up in the bud by turning off the stove (and Aiba’s ire by extension) and demonstrating the force of his “passion”. Yet, the irony is not lost on me that this “passion” which is no different from a display of necessary force will be the very thing to ignite the stove of Aiba’s ire some time soon.

The observation of the state of the stove is particularly indicative of the Sakuraiba relationship. If the stove is on, there must be gas in the air. And gas ignites so easily and can explode so easily, and when it does explode, it takes everyone in its vicinity with it. This is what the Sakuraiba relationship can descend into if they are not careful. But of course, as Sho is a horse with blinkers and Aiba is bent on self-destruction, neither of them see it.
A few questions at this juncture:
(10) What will happens when the metaphorical stove finally explodes? Will it take out just Aiba, just Sho or both? Or will it also take out people near them as well?

(11) Will Iris be the very flame to ignite the stove and burn everyone along with her - as indicated by both her name and her email address?

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 5

[mmestrange]

On Aiba
Aiba has literally descended into madness and has given in fully to his despair. As I have more questions than any actual analyses, let’s begin by defining what we can understand of Aiba’s extraordinary behaviour in this chapter.

We know from previous chapters that he is prone to self-mutilation and that whenever he retreats to the bathroom, it’s to cut himself. This is an ongoing habit from his Arashi days and has grown more pronounced since the disbandment of the group. Despite the fact that Aiba keeps telling himself he can’t betray Sho in any way (as may be gleamed from previous chapters), he has betrayed Sho’s trust by cutting his wrists time and time again. What makes this thing even more ironic is that Aiba seems to treat his wrist slashes as ‘badges of honour’ that he wears to remind himself to be loyal to Sho. It’s as if he needs to remind himself of his loyalty and fidelity. This is significant because it informs us that Aiba is aware on some subconscious level that he doubts the loyalty he is giving and has given to Sho. He knows he is not getting back what he has invested in the relationship, but he does not want to face it. Regardless as to what happens, he wants to cleave to Sho and keep Sho to him. This could lead to dangerous consequences not just for him but for Sho and their relationship as a whole. We have already some inkling of this from the stove imagery as well as from his self-destructive and attention seeking behaviour. If Aiba decides to make the final leap to kill himself accidentally or intentionally, he will do so with hopes of driving Sho to stay with him out of guilt. Of course, the danger in doing so when Sho is being so callous and reactionary to nearly everything is that Sho could well walk away and ignore him even though he is at death’s door. The bottomline is that he wants to teach Sho a lesson to stay with him and he will do anything to make sure that happens, even if it means putting up with Sho’s abuse.

Interestingly, this chapter reveals that Aiba knows more than what he lets on. He says pointblank that he knows Sho is keeping something from him - and we know from an earlier chapter when Mme Sakurai visited the flat that Aiba had heard part of the conversation vis-à-vis the whole arranged match business between Sho and Iris. He also is aware of why Sho was turned down for the correspondent job. What I find interesting isn’t Aiba’s analysis and interpretation of Sho’s manner on the demo tape or what that says about Sho’s character post Arashi disbandment. The interesting thing, for me, is that someone showed Aiba the demo tape so that he will know why Sho was rejected for the post. Now, this possibly indicates Aiba’s opinion is valued in the business regardless as to how flaky he may appear in terms of conversation and outward behaviour. More than that, it also hints at the person who showed Aiba the demo tape had hoped he would tell Sho the reasons for the rejection. This in turn possibly means that between Aiba and Sho, Aiba is the more rational one who is less prone to panicking or flying off the handle. We know this is true because Aiba curbed his initial instinct to punch the lights out of the person and watched the demo tape to ascertain how bad Sho was for himself. Yet, Aiba was mindful of Sho’s feelings and said nothing. When he does speak of the matter, it’s in retaliation to what Sho throws at him vis-à-vis his means of escape.

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 6

[mmestrange]

Aiba’s means of keeping the illusion that Sho loves him and that he suffers no pain from his relationship is through cannabis and alcohol. It is an imprudent combination to be sure, but a significant one plot-wise. In the old days, it was used to treat epilepsy. And epilepsy was what the oracles and soothsayers went through when they had to divine whatever the gods told them. It’s interesting that he takes cannabis to deal with his so-called “epilepsy” which shows him the truth of both his situation and his relationship with Sho.

Readers of this story will know that Aiba had undoubtedly obtained his stash of cannabis from Tiny. This, of course, poses an important question:

(12) Did he really get his cannabis from Tiny?
Did Tiny willingly supply Aiba with it? Or was Tiny persuaded to do it by Aiba?
If Tiny is indeed the purveyor of this plant product, is Fa9 aware of this?
What happens if Fa9 finds out that Aiba has been seeking solace in these substances?

(13) Is Aiba telling the truth about inviting a few people over for drinks and cannabis? If he is, who are these individuals? Tiny and Fa9 may excluded I think because Fa9 has some very strong views against Sho and could be driven to have more than harsh words with Sho. If there are people Aiba invited, they could well be some of the people he met at the drug party where he played Icarus.

(14) There was talk in an earlier chapter that Miyazono may get in touch with Aiba on Jun’s behalf. Will that happen before or after Aiba is on the path to no return? And even if this desirous event should happen, would Sho still be able to take Aiba seriously?

Re: Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 6

[unare_haineko]

Ah yes, the ticking time bomb known as Sakuraiba. The way they are destroying each other is simply beautiful, no? Have you ever seen a sorrier pair of mortal angst?

Sho is a wonderful devolving mess. I do like the reference to Macbeth <3 very apropos. Sho is very much still in denial (in all senses of the word). He still thinks he can have it all and be the grand puppet master, that he knows whats best for him and Aiba, that his relationship with Iris is completely under control, and that Aiba is wrong for being such an attention whore, gagging for sex and affection all the time, in all of these recent developments. He doesn't want to see that his relationship is deteriorating and that he is the very one on the ground floor destroying it with a jackhammer.

What is really quite pathetic is how he shows no loyalty to one particular person. He tries to please Mme Sakurai so as not to be one of her tomato plants, he cannot stick up for his relationship with Aiba in the face of Iris (who as you pointed out is not interested in Sho's rehashing of the glory days), and he lies and blames his partner of many years for his short comings, dissatisfaction, disappointment, and the overall decline of the relationship.

Contrary to his belief that he is one smooth operator, Sho is merely one level above bumbling, flailing, klutz/schmuck. It is Aiba's desire to keep the illusion going for the sake of the good old days that saves the relationship from falling apart. Aiba's mental problems and fragile emotional state can only keep the tape over the cracks of the flower pot from falling off for so long. The tape is straining from Sho pouring too much water and fertilizer into the pot. The pot will crack--that is certain. Now what sort of torture shall I inflict on Sakuraiba when that does happen. Mua ha ha ha! *cough cough wheeze* XD

Re: Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 6

[mmestrange]

Sho is becoming Macbeth in a sense, and the devolution amuses me. Interestingly, his lack of loyalty extends to himself. He's not even loyal to what he is/was anymore, and the sod doesnt even know it. He's an empty shell with no soul, and he can't continue running around like that. Sooner or later his body with just collapse and twitch helplessly because his soul has long departed his body.

As for Aiba, I'm just waiting for him to fall apart and take Sho with him. Heh.

Re: Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 6

[unare_haineko]

Perhaps we can stick a flask to Sho's orifices and collect his soul as it is leaving his body. We could bottle it and sell it to M. Aiba! Ufufu <3