Now and Forever...Itsumademo... - Chapter 21C
Title: Now and Forever…いつまでも…
Author: Unare Haineko
Pairing: [Juntoshi] Matsumoto Jun x Ohno Satoshi
Rating: R-ish, but NC-17 for this chapter
Summary: [Revised] Three years after the ending of ‘Kodoku kara Umareta Ai’ (which you can read here), we have Juntoshi trying to raise their son Ayumu while the demons from the dark shadows that ( Read more... )
The next section of Ch 21 covers Ayu and the spread of minor characters. Going from what Ayu says does in this chapter and what he has been reported to do by the characters who have come into contact with him we are given a hint that Ayu will see a great deal of what goes on when Tomomi brings him to the recording of the telly show where Nino is the guest.
More than that, it hints at two things: (a) the minor characters will provide the indirect catalyst propelling our antiheroes forward against Iago, (b) there are always more things going on than the readers know it would be behove the readers to pay attention. Nowhere is that better described than in the section where we hear and witness what Ayu has been up and what he says.
We already know from many earlier chapters that Ayu is more perceptive than he lets on. Likewise, we also know from earlier chapters he has his head screwed on better than the main characters of the story. Don’t believe me? Recall what Ayu tells Jun as to Ohno’s odd behaviour and the fact that Ohno is a narcissistic self-centred sex addict in the hospital scene following his capsicum allergy attack. Recall also that Ayu revealed Ohno was clearly lying about injuries and cuts when he went out to cavort with Reiya. Recall also Ayu’s previous conversation with Gima over the white butterfly and the spider. That conversation with Gima is most telling for it sets Gima thinking that there might be a chance of redemption for him too (whereas Jun doesn’t think about the implications of the things Ayu reveals) and also, it reveals Ayu’s weltenshauung. He seems to be saying that there will be self-redemption so long as one comes to a full knowledge of the self. This is the lesson that the adults around him, especially Daisuke, Sho, Aiba, Ohno and Jun will have to learn but stubbornly refuse to. Refuse to know the self and continued denial of that which one knows leads to insecurity, the self falling apart, self-doubt, degeneration and madness. Sho, Aiba, Jun and Ohno are certainly on this path - some more mired in quicksand than others and they are all slowly running mad however much they deny it.
On Ayumu
Ayu doesn’t just have a proficient memory blindly memorising things he hears and regurgitating them. He actually thinks, understands and applies what he has learnt. That much is obvious from the manner in which he counters Mr Ohno’s moves on the checkers board and from the manner in which he knows what he is saying in German when he goes “Kazu-chan, where are you?” He actually knows what he is about and where he stands with himself. This is in stark contrast with the five protagonists of this story. The irony is that a child knows himself better and is more disposed to reflecting upon the things he sees around him.
We know Ayu reflects upon the things he sees around him from the capsicum allergy incident. He has observed the change in Ohno and he has remarked upon it. He makes a decision not to aggravate Ohno and reluctantly swallows the capsicum in the stir fry dish. Even at the hospital, he reflects upon the change wrought on Ohno. We know this because he makes the conscious conclusion that even though Ohno has changed, the man is still his father. And he verbally says he will not blame Ohno. He does that by consciously seeking to stay out of Ohno’s way after that and cleaving to Jun. And he stays out of Ohno’s way by trying to steer the man to sense (cf. the incident where Ohno lies about needing plasters for a cut when he’s really going for an expensive shag with a fellow sex addict). When sense (in the form of subtle questions) does not appeal to Ohno, Ayu leaves the man be and does not remonstrate with him as he formerly would have done (cf. the boat/seaside outing incident). Instead, Ayu tells Jun observations. And all that, dear readers, is Ayu’s reflection at work.
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The fact that he picks up German quickly and understands it, and the fact that he is an adept player in checkers despite his youth are testaments to the quickness of his mind. He has a native wit enabling him to call things by their proper names, and he should be allowed this right because he sees things far clearer than most of the main characters. More than that, he genuinely wants to know what’s wrong with the situations he sees and he wants to find a way around that. If the way he managed Ohno isn’t enough proof for readers, then look at the way he continues playing checkers, studying the game, the moves and the lay of the board from the perspective of BOTH players. Most children would just go do something else when they have no one to play checkers with. But Ayu wants to know how to crack the puzzle. He wants to understand the play because he wants to understand how his opponent thinks. Once he understands how his opponent thinks, he will know how to handle them.
This last is the trait he has and most of the main characters lack. The main cast (with the exception of Kazunari) are self absorbed with their own woes and refusing to face up to things troubling them so much so that they are crumbling on the weight of what they bear. It has not occurred to them to consider how their opponent or the other party thinks. And that is their failing right there. They dare not veer into the subject of how others might view the situation from another perspective. They are afraid that their cherished illusions would be shattered. And this holds for Jun, Ohno, Sho, Aiba, and to a lesser extent Daisuke. How ironic it is that a child can think and look at both sides of a given situation whereas the fools only continue to see just one point of view. Unless Sho considers Aiba’s perspective, Aiba considers Sho’s view, Jun considers Ohno’s, and Ohno considers Jun’s, no one will get anywhere in understanding each other or why they have each degenerated to the state they have where mistrust, fear, denial and disquietude run rampant. But unlike Ayu, they don’t progress because they have not considered that one has to unlearn what they originally think before they can relearn what they mean to each other. Until they do that, they will not come to an understanding.
That, in essence, is what the section on Ayu is meant to tell us. The section in which Ayu spews German and Mr Ohno remarks in passing that Ayu has been telling him things about dinosaurs and the things he has seen at the museum is also important. The German is very simple and translated, it means: “Lunch! Milk! Cocoa! Cherries! I eat chocolate with great happiness and gusto! Do you want your coffee with cream or will you take black coffee? The dinosaur! The dinosaur! For God’s sake! Can we travel there one day with each other/together? Kazu-chan? Where are you?”
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(01) Why should Ayu say “for God’s sake”? What is it in relation to? Was he just repeating Isabelle? Or is he making a remark that he has misplaced Kazu-chan and wants to look for the toy Apatosaurus?
(02) Similarly, why did he say “can we travel there together one day”? Travel with whom? Travel where? And why does he want to go “there” with the unknown person(s)?
(03) Mr Ohno told his wife Ayu “…was telling me about German dinosaurs and all sorts of weird stuff they saw at the museum today”. The phrase “weird stuff” stuck with me. What sort of weird stuff did they see at the museum? Is it weird from Mr Ohno’s point of view when he heard it? Or is it because Ayu said it was weird? Why is it weird? What did he see? Did it have any bearing on the plot?
Bearing in mind that this is Ayu, we should not be surprised if indeed there was anything not deemed “normal” by society’s standards. We know this from Ayu’s behaviour at the van Gogh exhibition.
Facilis descensus Averni - the descent into madness and van Gogh’s Irises
Julie informs us that she took Ayu to the van Gogh exhibition. While there, Ayu followed the delinquent boy and his friends who didn’t want to follow the school tour. Why was Ayu drawn to the delinquent boy? We are not told. My hypothesis is that Ayu understands at some level that the boy he followed is a bad hat. And who’s the bad hat Ayu knows intimately? Why, that would be Satoshi-papa. I posit that Ayu recognises deviant behaviour or behaviour he understands is “not quite right” and so he follows the delinquent boy and his friends around at a respectable distance. We are told that the delinquent boy and his friends did not notice Ayu following them around. What does this tell us? Ayu wasn’t interested in mixing with them. Ayu is a bright and energetic child who already has some idea of “right” and “wrong”. Notice how boisterous and loud he is with Julie? Also observe how energetic and rambunctious he is with Isabelle Etrange even though she is (a) a stranger and (b) lukewarm towards him. I believe this is because Ayu is able to sense at some level that Dr Etrange is not a naturally “bad” or “deviant” person. He doesn’t mind following her around nor does he mind her company in the Dinosaur excursion. He chatters and talks and even picks up German from her. In contrast to high spirited behaviour, Ayu is nothing like this vis-à-vis the delinquent boy and his friends. In fact, Ayu keeps a distance from the young delinquent and just observes the boy. Why is this? I believe this is because he wants to know why the boy is “bad” and what makes him “bad”. Somewhere in his mind, Ayu wants to know so that he can better understand Satoshi-papa. I could be wrong in this, and it remains for Haineko to tell me whether I’m off.
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So, what does this tell you? The descent to madness is as easy as the descent to hell. Madness is form of hell in itself because it burns you and consumes you, and you feel every agonising moment of it until you die. Do you know anyone like that in the plot of Itsumademo? Well, all of out main protagonists (save Kazu who has dragged himself out of it since he came to his epiphany that Jun didn’t screw him up) suffer from the same ailment as van Gogh. Aiba knows he shouldn’t cut himself, but he still does so thinking it will keep him sane. However all it does is to internalise his pain and feelings of inadequacy to the point where he’s so mad as to phone Jun for someone to talk to. Sho knows he shouldn’t string Iris along and that he should be straight with his mother, but he thinks bowing into Mme Sakurai’s wishes will keep him sane. However, it’s only driving him mad to the point where he has to go to Dr Etrange for advice. And even there, he lacks to balls to talk about it. Jun knows all evidence points to Ohno being dodgy, but he thinks pretending that all is hunky-dory will keep him sane. But it is just tearing him apart. And Ohno is too far gone to have any sense. They’re all running mad after creating peaceful, understanding and loving interpersonal relationships akin to the easy grace of van Gogh’s lilies. But in all the things they do after crafting the masterpiece of their relationship, the tension climbs and they fall prey to the fever of madness. That is what the reference to van Gogh’s Irises is meant to tell us. And from the looks of it, the descent to hell has already begun for all them. Luckily, Nino has some sense, so he’ll be singed at best. But the rest of them will be burnt and Ohno (and possibly Jun and Aiba) will be charred to varying degrees.
[NB - More commentary to come tomorrow. Have patience.]
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You are right when you say that Ayumu is curious as to what makes a person "bad" versus "good". Living with two people who are so fundamentally different, the boy knows that his Jun-papa always is looking out for his best interest. The idea that Jun-papa is "good" is very clear to him. People who do not try to hurt him like his grandparents and Julie also fall in the same category as Jun-papa.
However, a self-centered chameleon like Satoshi-papa is confusing. If Jun-papa cares for him, then people who put him in danger would by that same logic fall into the category of "bad". Ayumu is aware that Ohno's negligent parenting is what gets one or the both of them into trouble, but since Ohno is so sneaky about it all the time and constantly changes his tactics, it's hard for him to keep up. Also, what is puzzling for him is how illogical Jun appears for Jun wants only the best for his son, yet he allows (and in certain respects enables) Ohno's reckless behavior around the boy. In order to understand how to avoid being killed by Ohno and other people like Ohno (i.e. "bad" people), Ayumu must study Ohno's behavior and be defensive/proactive especially when Jun is not around to protect him. As he sniffs people out to figure out if they are more like Jun or more like Ohno, he is trying to figure out what kinds of nonverbal cues do people like Satoshi-papa exhibit so that he can avoid them. (And when our Juntoshi doppelgangers reappear--oh what fun we will have!) The checkers are my little introduction into the game of survival for the boy.
That was a beautiful analysis of van Gogh's Irises completely with the mini summary of the artist's final days of lucidity! You are right that this is the prelude to madness and hell--the end of Ch. 20 referenced Dante and this was merely follow up. XDD I certainly don't expect readers to make the connection as neatly as you have, but even if people said to themselves, "Irises...Fujiki Iris...Sho...now what is she trying to say?" I would have been happy.
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