Now and Forever...Itsumademo... - Chapter 17A

[unare_haineko]

Title: Now and Forever…いつまでも…

Author: Mayonaka no Taiyou/Unare Haineko

Pairing: [Juntoshi] Matsumoto Jun x Ohno Satoshi

Rating:  R-ish

Summary: This story follows Ayumu, a more or less normal child born in 2012, three years after the ending of ‘Kodoku kara Umareta Ai’ (which you can read here).  His parents, Jun and Ohno, are everything but

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Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 1

[mmestrange]

The shit begins for the sanctimonious, insincere shit known as Sakurai Sho with the very opening of chapter 17. From the get-go of the chapter, we are reminded that the flux and flow between dreaming and reality is meant to be confusing because:
(a) dreaming vs reality;
(b) illusion vs reality; and
(c) perception vs reality are the themes in this story.

Haineko deliberately blurred the lines between points (a), (b) and (c) from the beginning of Ch 17 for two reasons:
• to demonstrate the themes of (a) to (c).
• to highlight the narcotic qualities of the narcissus.
Haineko does this by placing on the fact that most of us are disoriented upon awaking up from very vivid dreams. This is true for people and Haineko blurs the boundaries even more by having Sho unable to tell difference between that which is real and that which is illusion and that which is his a figment of his imagination. This is why in CH 17, Sho can’t tell the difference between illusion and reality any more.

Careful reading of the descriptions of Sho in Ch 17 reveals that the man is suffering from a hangover. He has all the classic signs of it. He is disoriented; he doesn’t remember how he got home; he has a massive headache (as evinced from the pounding in his head).

The very manner in which Ch 17 opens with Sho BELIEVING he hears the phone ringing in his ears is telling. Someone (i.e. Aiba) is trying to contact Sho and tell him something. But Sho has shut himself up in his own bubble and refused to listen. This renders Sho more isolated not only from Aiba but from reality as well. What is the reality Sho wants to escape? Choosing between Aiba and Iris, and choosing between his family’s expectations and his own wishes. He can’t choose and so isolates himself into his bubble where reality can’t bother him. Despite his best efforts to closet himself from reality, someone is trying to reach him and bring him back to reality and the present. Whether Sho responds to that call (as indicated by the phone he THINKS he hears ringing at the very beginning of the CH 17) remains to be seen.

However, I think it would safe to hazard a guess that Sho would eventually ‘wake up’ to the truth ‘ringing in ears’ as it were. I say this because Haineko explicitly informs us that Sho woke up and tried to reach the phone he THOUGHT he heard ringing. Notice what Sho goes through when he THINKS he hears the phone ringing:
(i) He rolls over, undoubtedly intending to ignore the ringing and hoping that it would go away.
(ii) But the ringing didn’t go away. And rolling over to pretend the ringing didn’t exist failed to work. Thus, Sho fell off the sofa and landed on the floor
(iii) When Sho landed on the floor, he realised that his bones ached and he has a whopper of a headache
(iv) Then he tries to go to the phone to take the call.

Sho is currently at stage (i). He has cocooned himself in his bubble and refuses to face the truth or reality and is reluctant to face the consequences of keeping everyone around him in a perpetual up-and-down yoyo. But the truth and reality cannot be avoided indefinitely. They will both eventually make themselves known in a bigger and more pressing manner, kind of like how one tries to hold in one’s urine. Yes, that works for a while and the feeling of wanting to pass water goes away after a while. But soon, that feeling of wanting to ease oneself comes back worse than before and you MUST piss it out. Truth and Reality are kind of like that. When that happens, Sho will be in stage (ii). When the truth and reality finally hit Sho in stage (ii) it will be painful. Because it is painful, it will jolt Sho awake. Once awake, the whole process of the truth and reality sinking in will drive him nearly mad and to near distraction. That is stage (iii). Once Sho overcomes the near madness and the whopper of a headache, all the facts will sink in and Sho will realise that face the truth and reality means he has to make a choice and do something. That brings him to stage (iv) and he will answer the call of truth and reality, thereby getting off his arse and doing something.

Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[mmestrange]

All of which throws up the following questions:

(01) When is the painful truth going to run full force into Sho?

(02) How far will Sho’s inability to tell the difference from dreaming/illusion and reality colour his perception of things to come and that which Aiba will tell him?

(03) What really happened that the memories of his activities the previous night were a blur to him?

(04) Is he really suffering from a hangover or is it just a tension headache?

(05) If it is a hangover, how much did he have to drink (other than the Yebisu Black) that brought him to this state?
- Or is his grogginess and current state of wooziness due to something else that had been slipped into his drink or something?

(06) Why are there two bottle caps and a napkin on the coffee table?

(07) Two bottle caps means there were two bottles, which means one bottle for Sho and one bottle for someone else. Who else was in the flat to consume the contents of one of the bottles?
- Were the bottlecaps there before Sho left the flat?
- Were the bottlecaps left there by Aiba?
- Or was someone in the flat with Sho when he arrived home and shortly passed out on the sofa?

(08) Why two bottle caps but only one napkin? Surely, two people drinking don’t share one napkin. What did the other person do with the other napkin? Will this be significant?

(09) If there are two bottle caps, where are the bottles?

(10) There is something surreal yet incongruously disconcerting in the description of the flat after Sho ‘wakes’ up from his stupor. Why is the kitchen clean and empty but the coffee table uncleared?
- A person cleaning up the place would clean the kitchen and clear up the coffee table, yet the two bottlecaps and a napkin were still there. Why clean the kitchen, empty the kitchen’s rubbish, and remove the bottles and one napkin but NOT take away the bottlecaps and the remaining napkin?

(11) What sort of bottles did the caps belong to? Beer? Cheap wine? Soft drinks? Mineral water? Aerated water?

These are the questions we, the readers should be asking. These are also the queries Sho should be posing if he was using his brain and not so hung over / drugged up / stupefied. All we know of what happened to Sho is that things were a blur for him FROM the moment he arrived at Clematis with Iris TO the moment he collapsed on the sofa close to 4 am.

[More on dreaming/reality when I come to the Narcotics/Narcissus section in a later part of the commentary]

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[unare_haineko]

Ahhh!!! Nothing escapes Lady Strange!! But, Alas! The first section with Sho and the brief appearance of Aiba at the end seems to have been forgotten by the readers!! I think I overloaded everyone with the whole 2009 contract bit and they may have either been scared away or scared into submission for the time being. I guess everyone was so into the whole Miyazono and Jun interaction that they forgot about dear Sho-chan and NaSA!Ohno.

The section involving Sho was long overdue and I crammed so much into it, yet there remain so many unanswered questions...I LOVE IT!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!! Illusion (Dreaming) vs. Reality becomes more heavily entrenched in the Sakuraiba subplot and I'm glad that you picked up on the actual state of the flat. Something is amiss and people should be questioning why one part of the flat is clean and another isn't (since we know from the first chapter of KodoAi that Sho's biggest problem [according to Jun] is that despite his intelligence, he's a slob). *smirks*

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[mmestrange]

When I was an MA student, I was called the Queen of 'slow reading' which in political philosophy means reading for all the things 'said and unsaid' in the text. Ha! I try to inculcate this in my students when I got my MA and went for the PhD but it didn't work. Only in my own writing, reading and in your writing can I use this skill. Ergo, je vous amie.

There's a lot in the Sakuraiba section. This commentary is going to be one hell of a session with deep analysis.

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[unare_haineko]

'Slow reading'....yes, very useful skill in text analysis intensive majors. But people are lazy. No one wants to look past the surface, much like our Arashi boys XDDDD

I spoke to a friend some time ago of our 'relationship' and that person asked me if I like that there is a reader who reads, analyzes, and comments on every little thing in my story. I told that friend of course I do. Who wouldn't want the little buried treasures excavated, cleaned, and placed on display with a nice interpretation? I was smirking.

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[mmestrange]

I wish I had such a reader myself, alas... you can practically hear the crickets chirping at my writing community. I know one your readers reads my stuff (one Mlle Madisonfink) but she doesn't say much. She seems like an amiable lass.

Ah, years of studying ancient history and reading very old books... I'm more a philosopher than a person (that's what my cousins say) because all I do is think. If I squat on my chair and drink tea with my pinky, does that make me L? Of course the sarcastic joke is lost on my cousins. Academia is the only path open to me...

We are friends of a sort, so that's nice. We get along and we have meaningful discussions. That's good too. Oh, I wrote and posted a letter to you (to your Hawaii address). It should be there for you when you get 'home'.

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[unare_haineko]

Are philosophers not people? Or is someone who thinks not considered to be a person since most people waste their mind, so in order to be considered a person one should not use their brain to think.

Wonderful. I hope my sister keeps my mail for me. I've been meaning to get to a post office here, but I haven't actually seen one so far and my friend lives in the best area of the city. This is very weird since back home, we have one for every district. In Tokyo, they're everywhere--almost as prevalent as the convenience store. Here in Colombia, I have NEVER seen a post office. My hosts haven't been home in 14 years (they recently relocated back to Colombia after years of living abroad). They don't even know where the post office is. Perhaps we will go looking for the post office today... XDDDD

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[mmestrange]

Possibly they don't think I'm even human. When they say snidely that I can't survive on 'inconsequential' things like knowledge and books, I tell them that like Hamlet I feed on the chameleon's dish and they all go 'what do chameleons eat'. Sheesh. I expect the literary reference to fly across their heads, I even expected the 12-18th C belief about chameleons to fly over their heads, but when even my sarcasm is lost on them - I know stupidity has hit a new low.

We have post offices in every town, but they're not noticeable. You have to consciously find them here. The nearest one from me is a 35 min walk from my flat. But post boxes - those are everywhere.

Re: Commentary & Analysis CH 17, Sho Section: Dreaming/Illusion vs Reality, Part 2

[unare_haineko]

The NCP hates my sarcasm with a passion. He believes that it is 'disrespectful' and undermines his authority (though he doesn't use that exact phrase to describe it). He refers to my scathing commentary of the truth and reality as 'snide remarks'. My sisters have come to appreciate my wit and sarcasm in the recent years--especially since I now use it in their favor. Sarcasm...heh. Those who do not use or understand it always claim I play dirty (presumably that means that I use my brain instead of my fists).

I haven't even seen post boxes here. I think it's fear of the guerrilla here. There was a bombing a few days ago that I saw on the news. Though despite all accounts that claim Colombia is scary and dangerous, it's a rather nice country. People are very warm here, but they drive very recklessly.