Good Morning, Mr. Hyde, Today I'm Gonna Rock Your World - Chapter 16

Nov 03, 2008 00:20

Title: Good Morning, Mr. Hyde, Today I'm Gonna Rock Your World - Chapter 16

Author: Mayonaka no Taiyou/ unare_haineko

Pairing: hyde x tetsu

Rating: R-ish overall

Summary: What started of as Hyde having marital problems and Tetsu finally deciding to exploit the opportunity to address his longtime obsession with Hyde has turned into the multi-chaptered epic journey of the exciting and passionate relationship between Tetsu and Hyde.

0-0-0-0-0

Last time…

Hyde felt his knees go weak on him and stumbled into the living room to the couch.  As he lay on the couch, he stared at the carpet dejectedly.  Rolling off the couch and onto the floor, Hyde tumbled left and right restlessly on the soft carpet.  When he finally stopped, he saw a red light above the DVD player blinking.

“What’s that red light?” he mused to himself sitting up.

Hyde turned on the television and pressed the play button.

The screen flickered for several moments before switching to video mode where it displayed a familiar face on the screen.

“Te…tsu…” Hyde whispered staring intently at the screen.

The Tetsu on screen cleared his throat and paused for several moments before looking down sadly.

“Good…bye, Hyde,” said Tetsu, bowing heavily as the screen faded into black and went into the black and white fuzzy frenzy when the signal was lost.

0-0-0-0-0

A/N: Might I recommend some background music for this chapter.  I think the “Never Meant to Belong” track from the anime series BLEACH is rather nice.  Just put it on a loop while you read this chapter.

Good Morning, Mr. Hyde, Today I’m Gonna Rock Your World - Chapter 16

“Tetsu?” Hyde said, reaching up to the flat screen television as if touching it would make Tetsu real.

“…no…no…NO…NO!!!” Hyde shouted, standing up with a start and running to the bedroom.  He lifted up the skirt of the bed and found nothing but boxes.  He pulled the boxes all out from under the bed, opened the closets and drawers, digging out everything.  When there was nothing more to pull out, Hyde rampaged like a tornado through the ground level of the house, moving through the bathrooms and spare bedrooms, kitchen, and living room opening every space that could conceivably hide a person and pulling everything out to make sure that Tetsu was not asleep in some small crevice like a child playing hide and seek and falling asleep from boredom while waiting for the others to find him.  The cabinets were thrown open and the furniture upturned.

There was nothing in the garage when Hyde went there to tear it up too.  Tetsu did not store junk in the garage like most people Hyde knew.  Tetsu had told him that there was a place for everything in his house and nothing except for fuel-powered transportation devices were allowed to take up residence in his garage.  Hyde still opened up the doors and popped the trunk.  Tetsu’s car was as it always was-full of a whole lot of nothing.  There was nothing in the trunk except for a spare tire and a jump start cable kit.  The seats and compartments held nothing.  Hyde even unnecessarily popped the hood as if Tetsu were capable of hiding where the engine should be.

When Hyde had verified that Tetsu was not in his car, he ran in like a madman and charged down the stairs, kicking up whatever was in his path.  The music room and spare bedrooms were turned upside down.  Hyde even went through the trouble of recracking the locks of Tetsu’s secret room with no success.  The ‘junk’ was exactly as he had left it the last time he had been in there.  The last room that Hyde had yet to destroy was the small downstairs bathroom.  Hyde pulled back the shower curtain and pulled open the cabinet under the sink.  When he opened the mirrored cabinet above the sink he stopped suddenly as he saw eight large bottles of ‘vitamins’ and about thirty cups of premeasured doses of pills.  Hyde trembled as he looked at the shiny candy colored pills, some cups having over twenty pills in them.

“Aaauuuugggghhhh!” Hyde shouted, slamming his hand into the cups, causing the glass shelves to shatter and collapse, scattering pills all over the white tiled floor.  Hyde’s hand was bleeding but he did not care.  He opened the vitamin bottles and shook them out all over the sink.  The one that had a ‘Vitamin A’ label was full of sleeping pills and the one that read ‘Dietary Supplement’ was filled with ibuprofen.  Hyde’s hands dripped blood spatter all over the bathroom.  He whirled around to punch the wall, but ended up slipping on some of the pills and blood on the floor.  He tripped over the toilet and tried to catch himself.  Failing miserably, he only managed to tear down the curtain and bump the shower tap on before he landed in the bathtub with a loud thud.  The shower head sprayed warm water down on him drenching his face and hair as the angry tears finally spilled down his porcelain cheeks.

“Fuck,” he choked hoarsely, resting his head up against his knees pulled up tight against his chest as he watched through blurred vision the rushing river of scarlet tinted water that spun down the drain.

He sat there for what could have been hours, but time seemed immaterial to Hyde.  His hand had stopped bleeding, but his whole body felt numb and heavy.  He turned off the water when it had run cold and his only indication to leave his spot was that his body was shivering.  Hyde took his clothes off and used them to make a path to the door that would protect his feet from the glass shards.  He dragged his cold and naked body up the stairs, at the top of which he picked up a navy blue bath towel he had flung across the room earlier.  Hyde took slow, heavy steps to the bedroom as briefly ran the towel through his hair before wrapping it around his body.  Hyde pulled back the covers and allowed his body to flop unceremoniously onto the silken sheets.

“He…left…me…” Hyde sobbed as he closed his eyes in shame and buried his face into the cold pillow that welcomed its equally icy occupant.

0-0-0-0-0

Hyde awoke to the afternoon sun striking his face, but he simply got up and drew all the heavy curtains and turned on the air conditioning before crawling back into bed under the covers.  He did not want to eat, drink, smoke, or do anything except sleep.  And sleep he did.  Hyde slept in his world of darkness for days.  His sleep was dreamless and was filled only with constant ebony and gloom.  His cell phone battery died after a day and no one called the house, so his dark world was also silent and cold.  He woke up once in the middle of the night to have a smoke, but immediately went back to bed.

Hyde returned to his world of darkness several more times, but the emptiness eventually was too much to bear and began gnawing away at the inner recesses of his brain.  In his sleep, it was dark, but suddenly, he saw Tetsu waving at him or running ahead beckoning him to follow.  Hyde would run, but every time he tried to run, Tetsu always disappeared or faded into the darkness.  One particular chase felt so real that Hyde’s heart was racing until the very end.

Tetsu was laughing and calling his name.

“Hyde…Hyde…come on, Hyde…don’t you want to be with me….?”

“Tetsu,” Hyde panted, running after Tetsu who seemed to run ahead forever through the maze of darkness. “Wait for me-“

“Hyde, you’re so slow…come on, or I’ll leave you behind…”

“No…Nooo, don’t leave me, Tetsu….I’m coming….”

Hyde ran after Tetsu, but Tetsu ran into two large double doors and Hyde found himself in a maze with many doors lining the walls of the many corridors.  Hyde’s vision spun and he rushed to open a door, which greeted him with nothing but an empty abyss below and hollow words of horrible things he had said to Tetsu.

“Are you calling me a liar?!”

“I am!  And you know what else, I feel like you don’t even want me around!”

Hyde slammed the door shut and ran down the hall.  He saw a pink door and opened it.

“Tetsu… I’m getting tired of this passive-aggressive bullshit!”

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean-“

Hyde screamed and ran down another corridor.  He saw a glass window that showed a fire escape outside and ran towards it. As he ran, his last words to Tetsu reverberated in the narrowing hall.

“No, you know what? I’m going to my room.”

“HYDE!”

“NO!” shouted Hyde, trying vainly to cover his ears.

“Save it, Tetsu!”

“HYDE!”

“Don’t touch me…”

“STOP IT!  STOP!  LEAVE ME ALONE!” Hyde screamed in agony, crumpling to his knees before the glass window as he flipped the latch and pushed it open.

“Hyde…” went Tetsu’s soft voice.

When Hyde looked up, he saw Tetsu standing at the top of the staircase in a white turtle neck and jeans with a pale blue scarf around his neck whipping wildly behind him in the wind.

“Tetsu…” Hyde said, rising to his feet and stepping up on the window ledge to follow.

“Good…bye…Hyde…” resounded Tetsu’s final words to him as the stairs to the fire escape broke away from the building and fell down into the endless chasm below.  Tetsu stretched out his arms as he fell backward into the darkness.

“No, NO! Tetsu, wait!  I’m sorry!  Don’t go!  I love youuuuu!!!” Hyde shrieked as he reached for Tetsu’s scarf, but woke up to the dimness of their bedroom and his hand reaching up to the ceiling, grasping at nothing.

Hyde looked at the clock.

2:42 am.

He turned to the left.

Still no Tetsu.

Hyde stumbled out of bed, pulled a robe over his body, and turned on the lamp.  He walked straight to the kitchen and pulled out a random bottle of hard liquor.  He unscrewed the cover and chucked it aside as he tossed his head back for a long hard swig.  His throat burned, but he kept drinking.  When it became too painful for him to drink any more, he stopped.  And when his throat stopped aching, he drank some more until he blacked out on the kitchen floor.

Hyde woke up some time later with a massive headache.  He could barely sit up without feeling the urge to lie back down at the incessant pounding within his skull.  Not wanting to think about his life, he did what Sakura would have told him to do-he opened another bottle and drank some more until he entered a drunken stupor of silence, staring dully out at nothing. In his drunken stupor Hyde remained, disheveled and with blood shot eyes.  Sometimes he needed to crawl to the bathroom to empty his stomach or pee the alcohol out, but it was all a blur to him.  He stumbled and ran into things like crazy, which left him with bruises all over his pale skin.

One day (he was not sure if it was morning or night), he woke up and saw his leg in the bathroom mirror, bruised purple and yellow.  Hyde reached down to touch the bruises only to find that none of them seemed to register any pain, much less feeling when he pressed his finger to it.  The bruises he often ended up with as a result of rough sex (Tetsu liked to refer to them as ‘little acts of love’) always hurt when he touched them even though they were small and healed within a few days.  These bruises he had gotten from bumping into various fixtures in the house in his drunken stupor were a lot bigger and looked more serious (one looked like he had even banged into the corner of something very big).  However, for Hyde, the only thing that stood out in his muddled mind was that no bruise could compare to what he felt (or was unable to feel) in his heart and mind over his abandonment by Tetsu.

Hyde felt dead inside and sometimes he needed to check for himself that he was still alive.  He would run a razor in thin lines on his arms-sometimes his legs, the bloody wounds being the only thing that ascertained his shell-like existence.  If he bled, he must still be alive, he reasoned to himself many times. The sharp pain of breaking skin was better than the persistent dull pain that never left his heart and mind like the claw of pneumonia.  If he cut himself enough times and deep enough, it was almost like he was cured of its harrowing grip.  -Almost.  Of course, he was a bloody mess after each incident, but he could feel!

One.

Hyde made the first cut of the day on his forearm over the dark scars.  It was shallow and barely bled.  Hyde frowned and made another one next to it that had slightly more force behind it.

Two.

That was better.  Now at least he had a proper crimson line instead of pinkish irritated skin.  Perhaps it was the nature of what he did. The more you did it, the less effective it became every subsequent time.  The next high was never as good as the first.

Three.

The first time he resorted to self-mutilation was when he had been in the art school after his crushing realization that a color blind person who could not tell the difference between yellow-green and light-green could never succeed in a world of infinite color.  He had never been one for taking out his emotions on others.  He was never an aggressive or violent person.  He did not take out his anger on other people or other things-he preferred to keep it to himself.  In his depression, he discovered that the physical pain took his focus off the emotional pain and used the cutting as a way to release his anger and frustration with himself and or the circumstances that surrounded him.

Four.  Five.

Hyde quickly realized that the behavior could potentially be just as addicting as drugs or alcohol.  He knew he had to seek some sort of other outlet before it got out of hand.

Six…seven….eight…

Fortunately, he joined Jerusalem’s Rod and things seemed to look up for him as his mind drifted from art to music. They looked even better when Tetsu was courting him for his non-existent band ‘L’Arc~en~Ciel’.  He felt wanted and like he had a purpose in life (even if Tetsu wanted him to be what he thought at the time to be the least glorious part of the band).  Tetsu saw potential in him even before he was aware of it himself.  He made Hyde feel good and as a result, Hyde had been able to move forward.

Since then, Hyde had only returned to his secret habit once, which was when Sakura left the band.  He thought he would never recover from not being able to see Sakura.  He was broken up and could barely bring himself to rise from bed every morning.  But there Tetsu had been, watching what he built crumble before his very eyes and then picking up the pieces.  Tetsu was strong, the toughest person Hyde knew.  Watching Tetsu come under the microscope by the media for Sakura’s addiction and dealing with the negative press in the best way he could, Hyde found strength in Tetsu’s unwavering determination to rebuild what had been lost. But now, Tetsu was not here to be Hyde’s guiding light in the darkness, brightening his world and lifting his spirits.

Hyde looked down at the bloody mess he had made over the sink.  He let his arm bleed all over the creamy marble.

Twenty-three…

It was a dangerous addiction. His mind had only been wandering for a moment and he had gone overboard with the cutting yet again.  Angry, wild, some deep gashes, Hyde staggered as his vision blurred and he lost consciousness.

0-0-0-0-0

“Hyde…” Tetsu called in a soft voice.  “Hyde…I’m home…”

Hyde could not see anything, but Tetsu’s voice was echoing all around him.

“Hyde …I came back for you…”

“Tetsu, where are you?” Hyde said groping about.

“Right here….Can’t you see me?”

“No…where are you?”

“Right here, lying next to you.”

“Come closer so I can feel you….Tetsu…?”

“Hyde…”

“Tetsu…?”

“Hyde….”

“WAIT!  Don’t go, TETSU!  Where are you?!”

“So much blood…”

“No!  Tetsu!  You weren’t supposed to see me like this!”

“Hyde…I’m disappointed in you…”

“NO!”

“There’s blood everywhere…”

“TETSU!”

“Goodbye, Hyde…”

“TETSUUU!!!"

0-0-0-0-0
To be continued...

Navigation | 1 | 2 | 3A | 3B | 4A | 4B | 5A | 5B | 5C | 5D | 6A | 6B | 7A | 7B | 8 | 9A | 9B | 9C | 10A | 10B | 10C | 11A | 11 B | 12A | 12B | 12C | 13 | 14A | 14B | 14C | 15A | 15B | 16 | 17 | 18 |

haitsu, l'arc~en~ciel, fanfic

Previous post Next post
Up