(no subject)
I thought Washington DC was exactly what I wanted. I thought getting this job at GWU was perfect beyond perfect. When my dad asked if I regretted taking the offer and if I thought that maybe something better would have come along, I thought he was absolutely insane for asking just a ridiculous question. But now I'm not sure it was entirely ridiculous.
Washington DC looks perfect on paper. Stable, laid back job at a prestigious University where I can obtain my Master's degree in Public Health at a highly discounted rate. Where I can be closer to my family and most of my friends than I have been for the first time in seven years. Where I can live in an exciting city I've always wanted to live, and get that lifestyle desire out of my system, so as to where I can say, "I did it!" I can now conquer the north, south, country and city.
But finding a place to live isn't easy. And making friends isn't easy when venturing out is stressful. Where do I go and how do I get there? Bus? Metro? Heels? Cost? Everything is so expensive! Which I was not privy of... but, actually paying $18 for a double jack and coke is a lot more glamorous on paper than it is coming out of one's checking account. Cities aren't clean nor green. They're not aesthetically pleasing. They're not filled with warm friendly people, or even the kinds of people that look like they're enjoying life. Maybe I'm just bias right now because I'm still getting settled, and I know better than anyone no new place is easy or fun at first. And so, I may be looking through gray colored glasses. Or, what I thought was a pleasant colored pain swatch, exactly what I wanted to fit my strong, sheik, focused lifestyle, what I thought would cure my quarter life crisis, really may not be all it's cracked up to be, and really may not look as appealing now that it's come off the swatch and been painted across the whole house.
The potential job opportunity at SCAD is interesting to me because of the timing. Along with everything I've put down so far, one important thing I'm realizing is that I'm not very fond of my new job. I don't know anything about technology or revenue, and yet, that was the department I was filtered down into. Part of me is thankful that this group of individuals believed in me enough to give me a chance, and part of me thinks I am completely capable of doing this job, and that, while not necessarily rewarding, would not be difficult. But is that what I want? Another place holder job, like the law firm? Will there ever come a point in my "career" where I obtain a job that makes me excited to get out of bed and go to work everyday? I know that working at GWU while simultaneously obtaining my Master's would be beneficial to my future; providing that is, that I got accepted into the program.
The timing of the SCAD phone interview is interesting because I have not yet laid down roots in Washington DC. I'm not enamored with this city yet; far be, I'm not particularly interested in it anymore. Surprisingly, living in Greenville, NC for so many years stripped away a lot of the bullshit and put a lot in perspective for me. I'm not entirely impressed with the thousands of restaurants, posh expensive bars, or intimidating people. These things are enjoyable, yes, but I'm not a food and wine connoisseur, I don't have a ton of spending money like I used to, and I'm not on the hunt for a husband. I do enjoy Thai food delivery and seeing a wonderfully put together, fashion forward ensemble, both of which, could not be found in Greenville, but just when my need for high profile excitement dies down, that is when I move to this epicenter of activity. Funny, funny timing. I am a bit disappointed I'm not more excited, but alas, I cannot fake it.
Do I really want the position at SCAD? I cannot say. Yesterday morning I would say no; tonight I think the answer may be yes. Originally when I received the phone call I was angry; WHY now? Why not in August when I was spiraling down a pit of self-doubt? And yet, I have laid no roots here. I have signed no lease, found no home, shipped no furniture. I don't really like my job and I'm not getting paid excellent money to do it either. Maybe I'm not giving these things enough of a chance, and do not forget the appeal of a practically free advanced degree in a field you've convinced yourself could be the key to career happiness. Pros and cons, pros and cons.
Part of me wants to be offered the job at SCAD purely for my ego. So far, I've only had two real jobs, and both were offered to me on my first interviews. This fact made me feel good; I impressed even myself by hitting these two home runs twice in a row, and made me feel like job success was eminent. The fact that both of the jobs ended up being a bit of a pain in the ass, well... Another part of me wants this SCAD job to not only be offered to me, but be offered to me in a package I can't refuse. I've convinced myself for some unknown reason that not only will they offer me the job, but they will offer to pay me approximately 10k more than I am making now, and with the added incentive of living in a cheaper and highly more charming city, would be simply foolish of me to turn down. And of course, it's where Stephen lives, and so I could put missing him on hold for however long it took him to find a new position on the west coast, as he desires.
Part of me does not want this job offered to me because part of me feels like DC might be what's best for my future. So what if it could possibly mean me being miserable for the next three or so years, right? ... Right. There's a chance DC could make me very happy, says this part of me. Give it a chance because it's what you thought you wanted for so long, says this part of me. And I am willing to acknowledge that, but if it's what would make me happy? Well that I can't really say.
I realize this whole musing may be completely unfounded if I do not get a call for a second phone interview, or a personal interview, or anything from SCAD. The phone interview was awkward; I thought I answered the questions well and said all the right things but you can never tell when you're not in the room with the interviewer, human being to human being. Maybe I didn't ask enough questions. Maybe I don't know enough about what they need me to know. Maybe I'm not seasoned and experienced enough; she did use the word "seasoned" in the interview and I don't really think I'm seasoned at anything so. I guess we shall see. I HATE this waiting game. Whether its for a job or a trip or waiting to see a loved one or to make a choice or anything. But it's out of my power now, and I'd like to think that so far, as far as EVERYTHING this year is concerned, I've done my best.
Washington DC looks perfect on paper. Stable, laid back job at a prestigious University where I can obtain my Master's degree in Public Health at a highly discounted rate. Where I can be closer to my family and most of my friends than I have been for the first time in seven years. Where I can live in an exciting city I've always wanted to live, and get that lifestyle desire out of my system, so as to where I can say, "I did it!" I can now conquer the north, south, country and city.
But finding a place to live isn't easy. And making friends isn't easy when venturing out is stressful. Where do I go and how do I get there? Bus? Metro? Heels? Cost? Everything is so expensive! Which I was not privy of... but, actually paying $18 for a double jack and coke is a lot more glamorous on paper than it is coming out of one's checking account. Cities aren't clean nor green. They're not aesthetically pleasing. They're not filled with warm friendly people, or even the kinds of people that look like they're enjoying life. Maybe I'm just bias right now because I'm still getting settled, and I know better than anyone no new place is easy or fun at first. And so, I may be looking through gray colored glasses. Or, what I thought was a pleasant colored pain swatch, exactly what I wanted to fit my strong, sheik, focused lifestyle, what I thought would cure my quarter life crisis, really may not be all it's cracked up to be, and really may not look as appealing now that it's come off the swatch and been painted across the whole house.
The potential job opportunity at SCAD is interesting to me because of the timing. Along with everything I've put down so far, one important thing I'm realizing is that I'm not very fond of my new job. I don't know anything about technology or revenue, and yet, that was the department I was filtered down into. Part of me is thankful that this group of individuals believed in me enough to give me a chance, and part of me thinks I am completely capable of doing this job, and that, while not necessarily rewarding, would not be difficult. But is that what I want? Another place holder job, like the law firm? Will there ever come a point in my "career" where I obtain a job that makes me excited to get out of bed and go to work everyday? I know that working at GWU while simultaneously obtaining my Master's would be beneficial to my future; providing that is, that I got accepted into the program.
The timing of the SCAD phone interview is interesting because I have not yet laid down roots in Washington DC. I'm not enamored with this city yet; far be, I'm not particularly interested in it anymore. Surprisingly, living in Greenville, NC for so many years stripped away a lot of the bullshit and put a lot in perspective for me. I'm not entirely impressed with the thousands of restaurants, posh expensive bars, or intimidating people. These things are enjoyable, yes, but I'm not a food and wine connoisseur, I don't have a ton of spending money like I used to, and I'm not on the hunt for a husband. I do enjoy Thai food delivery and seeing a wonderfully put together, fashion forward ensemble, both of which, could not be found in Greenville, but just when my need for high profile excitement dies down, that is when I move to this epicenter of activity. Funny, funny timing. I am a bit disappointed I'm not more excited, but alas, I cannot fake it.
Do I really want the position at SCAD? I cannot say. Yesterday morning I would say no; tonight I think the answer may be yes. Originally when I received the phone call I was angry; WHY now? Why not in August when I was spiraling down a pit of self-doubt? And yet, I have laid no roots here. I have signed no lease, found no home, shipped no furniture. I don't really like my job and I'm not getting paid excellent money to do it either. Maybe I'm not giving these things enough of a chance, and do not forget the appeal of a practically free advanced degree in a field you've convinced yourself could be the key to career happiness. Pros and cons, pros and cons.
Part of me wants to be offered the job at SCAD purely for my ego. So far, I've only had two real jobs, and both were offered to me on my first interviews. This fact made me feel good; I impressed even myself by hitting these two home runs twice in a row, and made me feel like job success was eminent. The fact that both of the jobs ended up being a bit of a pain in the ass, well... Another part of me wants this SCAD job to not only be offered to me, but be offered to me in a package I can't refuse. I've convinced myself for some unknown reason that not only will they offer me the job, but they will offer to pay me approximately 10k more than I am making now, and with the added incentive of living in a cheaper and highly more charming city, would be simply foolish of me to turn down. And of course, it's where Stephen lives, and so I could put missing him on hold for however long it took him to find a new position on the west coast, as he desires.
Part of me does not want this job offered to me because part of me feels like DC might be what's best for my future. So what if it could possibly mean me being miserable for the next three or so years, right? ... Right. There's a chance DC could make me very happy, says this part of me. Give it a chance because it's what you thought you wanted for so long, says this part of me. And I am willing to acknowledge that, but if it's what would make me happy? Well that I can't really say.
I realize this whole musing may be completely unfounded if I do not get a call for a second phone interview, or a personal interview, or anything from SCAD. The phone interview was awkward; I thought I answered the questions well and said all the right things but you can never tell when you're not in the room with the interviewer, human being to human being. Maybe I didn't ask enough questions. Maybe I don't know enough about what they need me to know. Maybe I'm not seasoned and experienced enough; she did use the word "seasoned" in the interview and I don't really think I'm seasoned at anything so. I guess we shall see. I HATE this waiting game. Whether its for a job or a trip or waiting to see a loved one or to make a choice or anything. But it's out of my power now, and I'd like to think that so far, as far as EVERYTHING this year is concerned, I've done my best.