Postgrad madness: Truthiness in Hollywood
Postgrad madness
Truthiness in Hollywood
By C.A. KELLER - Sun-Gazette Correspondent
POSTED: September 26, 2008 on www.sungazette.com
Oh, the Emmys. They happened Sunday night, honoring the best in television, and in case you weren't one of the dozen people watching, all you really missed was Tina Fey. She cleaned up, along with the rest of the "30 Rock" cast and crew.
But for those who did tune in, it was a night filled with wisdom, as many actors took the stage to speak their minds about themes dear to their hearts.
For example, Stephen Colbert had some very insightful things to say about prunes, while Fey reminded us all to "never go to a second location with a hippie."
But others took the stage with sillier things to say.
Take, for example, "John Adams" writer Kirk Ellis, who, when his turn came to revel in the spotlight, decided to wax nostalgic for a time when "articulate men articulated complex thought in complete sentences."
Say what?
Seriously, Kirk? This is what you bring to the L.A. Arena? First rule of public speaking: Know your audience. And, as we all know, nothing says "nuance" like "Spiderman 3."
ABC was quick to let loose its wrath, and cut to a commercial, mid-sentence. Judicious editing? Oh, certainly. Severe punishment? My, yes.
Enter the talking chihuahuas.
Well, enter a trailer for a movie starring talking chihuahuas. I don't know what it's called, because I was too distracted by the realization that someone let the Taco Bell dog breed, creating an onslaught of minions that will, no doubt, begin the chihuahua invasion of Hollywood.
There's your immigration problem. And Jamie Lee Curtis is helping.
But the whole thing really made me think. Wisdom? In a word of dog-driven movies? Truthiness, more like.
Then a weight descended, and crushed my fluttery soul, and I realized something: Kirk was not merely waxing nostalgic, he was nostalgic. He longed for a simpler time, when men were - dare I say it? - men.
I paused, mid-telecast, to honor such a notion. I wondered what it would be like to live in John Adams' day. A day when beliefs meant something, when people traversed the newfound land, claiming it as their own, preparing to shed blood for their ideals.
I decided I didn't like that idea. No, not very much at all.
Well, really now, it's a rather violent concept, isn't it, filled with men in wigs and tight pants - the sort of thing that should be reserved only for drag shows, or possibly ballets, and the occasional Cary Elwes movie.
I mean, think about it. In the time of John Adams, there was no television, only angry powdered-headed men with guns. Best to remain on HBO. For today's folk, if the revolution cannot be televised, does it even exist?
See where thinking gets you? And that was just the tip of the iceberg!
The Emmys were filled with such anomalies, like "there is nothing more scary than watching ignorance in action," which obviously was spoken by someone who has never seen a clown, and "complicated, powerful, mature women are sexy in high entertainment, and can carry a show," which was obviously not spoken by a Hollywood producer.
There were sight gags, too, like when David Boreanaz stood next to Lauren Conrad, marking the important distinction between a teen star made good and, well, "reality" television. He's a working actor who once played a hot vampire idolized by teens, and she is ... idolized by teens? I'm not actually sure what she does, but apparently it involves "The Hills," and a clothing line.
I'm old.
But - sorry, Mr. Adams - the truest words of the evening came from a Brit. Last year, Steve Carell accepted Ricky Gervais' Emmy on his behalf, and it turns out he never relinquished it. At the ceremony, Gervais tried to get it back. After much cajoling, he began the verbal abuse.
"I sat through 'Evan Almighty,' " he said. "Give me my Emmy."
And, after a moment, Carell obliged.
I perked up. A light beckoned from the end of the tunnel.
That's it? With all the wisdom people try to impart on how to get ahead, with all this truthiness about prunes and hippies and articulate thought, that's all there is to it? "Evan Almighty?"
That's the Hollywood I know and love! I looked from the Emmy to Gervais and back again, and I smiled.
"What he said!"