Sometimes I wish she knew

[unabridged1]

Maybe it wouldn't have mattered.... knowing how she was at that time, -who- she was at least from the fantasy realm where our friendship was born, maybe she would have just laughed at me if I had told her. She had a smile that lit up her whole face, a quick sense of humor and her accent of course, that almost slurry french that made her even more irresistable. She could be mean, she could be careless with your feelings to a fault.... but I loved her. I would have done practically anything for her, but more than that, she gave me a feeling of wanting just to love her, protect her, and give myself to her as a friend and beyond... not necessarily in the intimate sense, though I would even have considered that but I mean really give myself, loyalty wise. I don't know how to explain. It's the feeling you get when you watch someone you love sleeping. Maybe I loved the idea of her, of what her life had been and was, her spirit perhaps... but what I know is the one night when I waited to fall asleep in her room with the moon visible overhead through the skylight after a magical Boubon Street night, was probably the best moment of my life.

So for Caroline P., there is always this song. Wherever she is in life now, I hope she's happy.

Quietly while you were asleep
The moon and I were talking
I asked that she'd always keep you protected

She promised you her light
That you so gracefully carry
You bring your light and shine like morning

And then the wind pulls the clouds across the moon
Your light fills the darkest room
And I can see the miracle
That keeps us from falling

She promised all the sweetest gifts
That only the heaven's could bestow
You bring your light and shine like morning

And as you so gracefully give
Her light as long as you live
I'll always remember this moment."

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