"we'll start a brand new colony"
i'm loving everything right now. even with all the craziness and all the stuff that i really should be going crazy about, i kind of had a startling realization today. i.am.happy.
i'm content. and it's not even like my life is perfect. far from it, come to think... but even with confusing boys, i'm not confused. even with lots of work, i have no stress. i mean, i have stress but it's the good kind. it's the kind that motivates me... not the kind that makes me totally useless. i'm not worried about whether my roommates and their respective boyfriends will keep me up till crew practice starts tomorrow morning. i'm not worried about crew practice tomorrow morning. i don't doubt my friends. i don't feel like i'm always eavesdropping on a friendship instead of experiencing one. maybe it was friday night, or maybe it was yesterday when i was talking to annie, or maybe it was that moment, after i'd finished half of the stats homework, and couldn't do anymore without talking to my professor. it was that moment when i walked out of the library, and the campus was just so pretty, and the sky was sort of clear and i didn't have a single thought in my head, but i had this feeling that i was happy. and it's still there, inside me. it's not the happy like you experience when someone says something or does something nice for you. it was happy like, "this is okay. this will all be okay. i am okay and better than okay i am happy"... it's a strange, startling and beautiful thought.
my dad...my brother...talking about music...listening to music...singing...movies...stupid shows on vh1...being enticed into going to florida...conversation binges...my gray sweater from h&m...hearing a great song...seeing fordham look so beautiful and fun and peaceful...knowing gie is for the most part alright...josh groban has a new cd out...abc family movies...mom...friends...herrell's dates for the night i get home...
i'm grateful.
i'm appreciative.
i'm content.
i'm ready for Christmas.
i'm content. and it's not even like my life is perfect. far from it, come to think... but even with confusing boys, i'm not confused. even with lots of work, i have no stress. i mean, i have stress but it's the good kind. it's the kind that motivates me... not the kind that makes me totally useless. i'm not worried about whether my roommates and their respective boyfriends will keep me up till crew practice starts tomorrow morning. i'm not worried about crew practice tomorrow morning. i don't doubt my friends. i don't feel like i'm always eavesdropping on a friendship instead of experiencing one. maybe it was friday night, or maybe it was yesterday when i was talking to annie, or maybe it was that moment, after i'd finished half of the stats homework, and couldn't do anymore without talking to my professor. it was that moment when i walked out of the library, and the campus was just so pretty, and the sky was sort of clear and i didn't have a single thought in my head, but i had this feeling that i was happy. and it's still there, inside me. it's not the happy like you experience when someone says something or does something nice for you. it was happy like, "this is okay. this will all be okay. i am okay and better than okay i am happy"... it's a strange, startling and beautiful thought.
my dad...my brother...talking about music...listening to music...singing...movies...stupid shows on vh1...being enticed into going to florida...conversation binges...my gray sweater from h&m...hearing a great song...seeing fordham look so beautiful and fun and peaceful...knowing gie is for the most part alright...josh groban has a new cd out...abc family movies...mom...friends...herrell's dates for the night i get home...
i'm grateful.
i'm appreciative.
i'm content.
i'm ready for Christmas.