The Heart that Hates
Title: The Heart that Hates
Author: landofthekwt
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #13 I want to hurt you
Word Count: 5638
Pairing: Inuyasha/Rin, Sesshoumaru/Kagome, Miroku/Sango
Warning: None
Summary: Rin discovers hate when Inuyasha’s past injuries to Sesshoumaru are revealed.
Left_Behind Chapter 6
The commission to kill a youkai was a welcome break for all of them. It freed Rin and Inuyasha from the roles as students and Miroku from his role as teacher. Even Sango was glad to see Miroku go. He had been driving her crazy with his constant attention. She needed a break from romance which the former monk seemed in constant need.
Rin was the perfect companion. She was now old enough to assist Sango with the rearing of their four children. Sango appreciated her even more when it was determined that she was pregnant with the couples fifth child. Rin was an apt pupil. She seemed to be at the age when children actually interested her. Sango wondered if Rin wanted children of her own..
Kaede also appreciated the reprieve. It seemed as if Rin’s education as a priestess had been put on hold in order to satisfy Kagome’s desire to see Rin educated in the manner in which she had been educated. Kaede had hoped that by now Rin would be helping her with the many of the duties of the priestess that had become too burdensome for her at her age.
By pure coincidence. Shippou’s training hit a lull. He now found more time to share his stories with the children. Sango did not mind. The boy had ability to enthrall her children with tales of the quest. It served to inspire them and make them dream of being taijiya like their mother and uncle. It also helped them fall asleep without a struggle. Sango could have kissed him.
Rin had never heard the full story of the quest. To her the stories were eye opening. Much of her quest had consisted of waiting for Lord Sesshoumaru. Neither he nor Jaken had been forthcoming about any of the details of the quest they were involved. Sometimes it seemed that Rin had been along for the ride.
Not that she regretted anything that happened. Lord Sesshoumaru had brought her back to live twice. He had saved her from Naraku again and again. Instead of her dreadful life in the village where her parents had died, she had become the ward of the Lord of the West, a person that she loved and adored. To her Lord Sesshoumaru could do no wrong.
The stories that Shippou told were shocking to her. It told of a Sesshoumaru who tried to kill Kagome and Inuyasha inside of his father’s tomb. To her Lord Sesshoumaru was entitled to Tessaiga. He was justified in trying to kill them for their interference in this quest. It surprised her that Lord Sesshoumaru did not succeed. What most surprised her was that Inuyasha had used
Tessaiga to cut off her Lord’s arm.
Lord Sesshoumaru had always been missing an arm. It never occurred to her that Lord Inuyasha had cut off the arm. When Lord Sesshoumaru’s arm reappeared when Bakusaiga was born, she had taken in stride. He had the arm for the nearly six years now. She had almost forgotten about his arm being missing until now. Her anger roused against Lord Inuyasha who had the gall to take Tessaiga and the arm of Lord Sesshoumaru.
She was also bothered by the fact that his father had chosen to give Tenseiga to Sesshoumaru and Tessaiga to Inuyasha. Obviously, her lord as first son should have received his fathers most powerful sword upon his death. It was so unfair that he had chosen to give Tessaiga to the undeserving Inuyasha instead of her lord. She was angry at Kagome because Tessaiga had allowed her to draw it instead of Lord Sesshoumaru and protected her from his poison. Worse, she had given the sword to Inuyasha instead of Lord Sesshoumaru.
She continued to simmer when Shippou revealed another battle between her Lord and Inuyasha.Shippou had the gall to point out that Lord Sesshoumaru had borrowed an arm and a Jewel shard from Naraku to allow him to wield Tessaiga. It seemed clear to her that her Lord was entitled to Tessaiga. He was the strongest of the two. He was the first born. He understood Tessaiga better than Inuyasha and knew how use it better.
It angered her that Inuyasha had chosen to rip off the arm. He deserved the whole in his stomach he received for stealing Tessaiga from her Lord. Again, she was angry at Kagome for reversing the transformation of Tessaiga. If she had not interfered her Lord would have taken the sword which was rightfully his. She thought her Lord generous under the circumstances in allowing them to live.
The last story she heard was about Lord Inuyasha’s discovery of the Windscar. It seemed to her that Lord Inuyasha was much inferior to her Lord. Her Lord had understood the mysteries of the sword hundreds of years before Inuyasha was born. She thrilled a the challenge that he had cast at Inuyasha. He had fought off Tessaiga with only his poison and a dragon’s claw. It seemed only luck that the boy had found the Windscar when he was blinded by poison.
The Inu-taichi had assumed that Lord Sesshoumaru had died when he disappeared. They were surprised when Totosai told them that Tenseiga had protected him and that Inuyasha was unable to kill him. Rin refused to believe that anyone could kill her Lord. She discounted their belief that Inuyasha could have killed him even if he wanted to do so.
What disturbed Rin most was the timing of the Windscar attack on Lord Sesshoumaru. The injuries and timing seemed to correspond to the time and situation that she had found Lord Sesshoumaru. She was outraged. How could Inuyasha have done something like that to her Lord. She had seen him in pain. Covered with blood and burns. He had been unable to move. Barely able to open his eyes.
Although she had brought him food day after day at the risk of her life and limb, he had refused all of her efforts to feed hm. Still she knew somehow that he had recovered through her efforts.Now she knew who had caused all of those injuries to her Lord. She was outraged. How could Inuyasha have done that to her Lord. How could the others have stood by and allowed it to happen. It was too much too handle. She ran out of the crying. She would find a way to get revenge for her Lord.
She would have to rethink all of her attitudes toward the Inutachi. It never occurred to her that all of these people had some part in harming her Lord. She had not known that Inuyasha had taken Tessaiga from her Lord or that Kagome had assisted him in this theft. Most of all she hated Lord Inuyasha for hurting her Lord. He had taken his arm twice and nearly killed him with the Wind Scar. She was not sure that she could ever forgive him for that.
It was a new feeling for her. She was not sure where to go. Inuyasha was not around to scream at.She needed someone or something to hit, to smash, to lash out. Someone must feel the hate that she felt. The pain that she felt for all that her Lord had suffered. Someone must suffer for the pain he felt. The humiliation he felt in being so weak that he could not even force a little girl to go away. At last she understood his anger at her that day that he met her. He was not angry at her.It was Inuyasha. He was angry at his brother and how his brother had defeated him.
But Inuyasha was not here. She had to find Jaken. He would know what happened. Kagome would remember, but she was in the role of an accomplice. How could her lord bear to be with the one who had helped Inuyasha hurt the one she loved. It boggled her mind. Kagome was the last person she would want to meet. She yearned to be with Lord Sesshoumaru. to comfort him for all of the pain that he had suffered. And so she bid Kaede goodbye and went to see out Jaken.
Jaken was standing on the hill overlooking the village when she found him. Ah-Un was munching on grass in the meadow. She rushed up to him and seized him. “Tell me everything about how Lord Sesshoumaru was injured in the fights with Inuyasha. I must know what Inuyasha did to him.”
Jaken was surprised. He had never seen Rin so angry before. She was always the happy girl. The one who calmly waited for Lord Sesshoumaru. The girl who sang songs and picked flowers. These of course were all the reasons he thought that she was silly and could never understood what a powerful lord like Sesshoumaru saw in such a foolish girl. He was not sure what had set it off, but he liked her angry. Better she learn the truth about her so-called friends from him. He would leave out all mention of Kagome just in case the story got back to Sesshoumaru. He had been humiliated by Kagome in the fight in the tomb and beaten by Miroku in the fight in which Lord Sesshoumaru used the shard given to him by Naraku. Better leave that out of the story.
In Jaken’s world, the Inu no Taisho and Inuyasha shared the blame for the problem with the swords. Tessaiga should have been left to Sesshoumaru on the death of the Dog General. Then Inuyasha would never have entered the picture. The Leader of the Dogs had been so unfair. He had hidden the path to the sword in the pearl in Inuyasha’s eye forcing Sesshoumaru to pull out Inuyasha’s eye to get the black pearl
It should have been so simple, but again the Inu no Taisho intervened. He had placed a barrier on the sword which prevented Lord Sesshoumaru from using. Instead, the girl who was now his mistress had been able to pull it out. He intentionally omitted the part where Lord Sesshoumaru buried her in his dokassou. It did not put his Lord in a good light and Kagome was now his mistress. She might not like being reminded that his mate had tried to kill you. .
.Lord Sesshoumaru was actually trying to give Inuyasha a chance to prove that he could handle the sword. He could have stayed in his humanoid form and Inuyasha would not have stood a chance. Instead, he became the Beast which Jaken knew was more brawn than brains. It had created the opening that Inuyasha needed when he found out how to make the sword transform Again, Jaken tactfully omitted Kagome’s role in the swords transformation. Better to let Rin think that it was Inuyasha’s fault. Which of course it was. They had been looking for the sword for two hundred years. On the brink of victory, Lord Sesshoumaru lost his arm and the sword in one fell swoop. It was obviously, Inuyasha’s fault. He was the one who struck the blow that cut off Lord Sesshoumaru’s arm and took the prized sword. Obviously, he must pay for his what he had done.
Lord Sesshoumaru had blamed him for the execution of the plan to find the sword. He ignored the fact that his plan had revealed the location of the Jewel. It was not his fault that Inuyasha could use the sword whereas his Lord could not. He did not force him to change form. Worse yet it set the stage for the next misadventure. Lord Sesshoumaru was so obsessed with finding a substitute for his missing arm that he jumped at the chance that Naraku offered him. Then when he recovered Tessaiga instead of leaving or killing Inuyasha immediately he spent his time demonstrating his superiority to the hanyou.
He left out how Kagome had saved Inuyasha by reversing the transformation. All it did was infuriate Sesshoumaru and require Inuyasha to save her. He also decided to omit Sesshoumaru’s evisceration of Inuyasha. Instead he concentrated on Inuyasha’s retaking of the sword. It put his boss in a much better light. Rin already thought him the victim of the hanyou’s actions. Who was he to disabuse her. They left Inuyasha unconscious and gutted after all. No need to tell her that her lord had nearly died as Naraku took back his jewel shard. Better to let her think that it was Inuyasha’s fault.
The last scenario had been planned by Lord Sesshoumaru. The hanyou was poisoned in the first battlee. All his lord had to do was wait for Inuyasha to fall over and take the sword. The idea had seemed so simple. Instead he felt it necessary to kill a dragon so that he could fight against Tessaiga using its arm.. When the arm was destroyed, Sesshoumaru became enraged at his brothers handling of Tessaiga that he decided to change form and put Tessaiga out of its misery. Again his Lord had not anticipated that Tessaiga would chose that moment to allow his brother to scent the Wound of the Wind. As a result Sesshoumaru was nearly killed.
Jaken did not witness the actual fight. His reports were based on the what he had been told by Totosai, Sesshoumaru and the Inutaichi. By the time he reached Lord Sesshoumaru he had already recovered and was already planning to use Inuyasha’s unwillingness to kill him against him. Rin would come into both their lives at nearly the same time. His views were colored by his love of Sesshoumaru, his hatred of Inuyasha as the enemy of his Lord and his unswerving belief that Lord Sesshoumaru was justified in everything that he did to recover the sword which had been unfairly denied to him by his father.
As a result Rin heard a version of the fights over the sword which stoked her anger against the hanyou. She had to go to Lord Sesshoumaru. By being with Inuyasha she had been consorting with the enemy. She had actually been kind to a person who had hurt Lord Sesshoumaru. The person whom she had been helping teach was person who had stolen something that belonged to Lord Sesshoumaru. She demanded that Jaken take her to the Western Shiro to see Lord Sesshourmaru. He would tell her the truth. She just needed to know.
Jaken tried to resist her, but she was bigger than he was and had always been able to get her way Soon they were flying aboard Ah-Un toward the Western Shiro. Rin seemed to finally have settled down. Jaken wanted to know what this was all about. He had never seen that look in Rin’s eyes. She had forgiven Kagura, Kohaku and Kouga for what they had done to her. If he did not know better he might have believed that Rin hated someone. That was impossible. Rin was always smiling. She never hated anyone. He tried to think back about the stories he had told her. They all involved Lord Sesshoumaru’s quest for Tessaiga.
Suddenly it hit him. Her anger seemed most intense when he related how Inuyasha had injured her Lord. Could that be it? He knew how devoted Rin was to Lord Sesshoumaru. She had never heard how he had lost his arm. To hear that a person she had become close to was responsible for all of her Lords’s misery must be shocking. She had been the person who nursed Lord Sesshoumaru back to health. She was the only one who knew how close to death he had been. Could her feelings about those wounds still be so strong that they could stir up hatred against the person who caused those injuries after all this time.
Jaken looked at her in a new light. He had always thought himself Lord Sesshoumaru’s most loyal retainer. He had fought alongside Lord Sesshoumaru for all of those long years trying to find the sword only to have it stolen by Inuyasha. His anger had subsided long ago when his master’s wounds healed. Lord Sesshoumaru was more powerful than ever. Bakusaiga dwarfed anything that Tessaiga could do. Lord Sesshoumaru had become the daiyoukai that he always dreamed about through his own efforts. He even had Inuyasha’s wench. If that was not revenge he did not know what was. He might remember those events, but they no longer caused him anger.
To Rin the events were still fresh. The wounds were still bitter. She did not get to Lord Sesshoumaru on a daily basis. He was still her Prince Charming and the Western Shiro was their fairy tale castle Her Lord was invulnerable. To see him wounded must be a horror to her. It was no wonder that she held hatred toward the one who had caused pain to her Lord. Someone must have told her about the Sword fights. That was the only explanation for her current mood.
The question was what was he supposed to do about it. They were coming unannounced. Lord Sesshoumaru would want to know why they were there. It would stir up a quarrel which was buried. None of the participants in the quarrel had shown any anger since the birth of the heir. Would Rin serve to revive the bitter relations between the parties. He may have been angry once at Inuyasha, but as his Lord’s anger had cooled so had his own. Inuyasha’s name had not been spoken in the Western Shiro since Toga had been named Lord Sesshourmaru’s heir. If Rin came with fire in her eyes now, it might rekindle all of the bitter feelings. Worse yet Lord Sesshourmaru might blame him for bringing Rin to the Western Shiro at this time.
Jaken assured that Rin gained entrance to Sesshourmaru’s chambers by bribing the guards and calling in favors. In the end he counted that Lord Sesshoumaru would never refuse Rin anything. Sesshoumaru looked up at Rin. It was hard to believe that this girl was now fifteen summers old. She had been a waif of eight when he had met her all of those years ago. Until he started buying her kimonos she had worn the same dirty and torn kimonos all of the time that he knew her. At the time he thought nothing about it, but when she became settled in the village he knew that her dress would signify her status.
As a result she began to wear kimonos which classified her as a lady of the court of the Western Shiro instead of an orphaned peasant girl. Rin was after all his ward. He was her guardian . It would not be proper for her to watch her dress like a ragamuffin. She might be being raised to learn everything the old priestess knew, but that was not her end in life. Her fate rested with him. Her life belonged to him. Only he could decide whom she married. If he chose to call her to the Western Shiro she would reside there. The question was why was she here now. He had not asked her to visit. So far as he knew he should be in the little village by Edo being educated by the monk. Yet the kappa had brought her to the Western Shiro against his express wishes. Jaken risked life and limb to bring her. Sesshoumaru made a mental note that the his death should be especially gruesome.
“Why are you here, Rin?”
She had never been afraid of Lord Sesshoumaru, but she had placed in such high regard that she assumed was beyond her reach. Now here he was actually asking her a question. She paused.Sesshoumaru had always been patient with Rin. He would wait till she was ready. At length she
gathered her courage and spoke.
“ Did it hurt?”
“ Did what hurt, Rin?”
“ Did it hurt when Lord Inuyasha cut off your arm?”
“ This Sesshoumaru is impervious to pain.”
Rin thought about that awhile. It seemed that he was in pain when he was under her care. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be suffering from his wounds. It was what attracted her to him. The villagers might starve her and beat her, but she would never allow another being to suffer as she did. Bringing him food and water was the least she could do.
“Did it make you angry when Lord Inuyasha cut off your arm?”
Sesshourmaru set back and reflected. Was he angry when Tessaiga cut off his arm? Yes, but his anger was not about his arm being cut off. His anger was at his father for denying him Tessaiga. He was forced to fight for the sword within his father’s body. His father saw his humiliation at the hands of a hanyou who was not worthy to clean up after his poop. The entrance to the tomb had been hidden on Inuyasha’s body. The sword refused to accept him and punished him for trying to take it. He barely acknowledged that it had been Inuyasha who had beaten him. In his mind it had been his father and the sword combining to thwart his rise to power. The fleas presence was evidence of the conspiracy even though it was clear that the insect knew nothing.
“ I was angry at the time, but it passed.”
“ Were you angry at Lord Inuyasha when he cut off your arm?”
“No.”
This answer surprised Rin. She was angry at Inuyasha for cutting off her Lord’s arm. She assumed that he would be angry at Inuyasha also. It was not what she expected. She expected her hatred of Inuyasha for injuring her Lord to be validated. Instead, he left her with more questions than answers.
“ You did not hate him for cutting off your arm.”
“ It was just an arm. As you see it grew back better than ever. Inuyasha was just holding the sword.”
“ Do you hate Inuyasha?”
Sesshourmaru thought about that question. When he had thought about Inuyasha it was always the fact that he was so inferior. He had human blood like Izayoi. He associated with humans like his father. His life belonged to him. Only he could decide if the boy lived or died. No else held that privilege. But hate. He hated what Inuyasha represented. The father who had associated with humans and sired a son with Izayoi. The person whom his father had died saving The person to whom everything had been given whereas his father had in the end denied him any power.
The father who had forced him to learn his lessons over the bodies of Rin and Kagura. The father who required him to find his own source of power. It had nothing to do with Inuyasha, but his father was dead while Inuyasha provided a convenient target and outlet for his anger. No, he had not been angry at Inuyasha for cutting off his arm. At the time it simply represented a set back. He tried to find another arm, but his bargain with Naraku nearly cost him his life.
He assumed that Inuyasha would surrender the sword when he realized that fighting was pointless and that he would never learn how to use the sword. The boy had surprised him by fighting to protect the lives of his friends. He seemed stronger when he was fighting to protect Kagome in particular. That fact had affected his reasoning when he fell in love with her. Inuyasha was right. She was worth fighting for. In the end she had given Inuyasha no choice. She had simply walked away with him. Inuyasha could not fight against her.
When Inuyasha found the Windscar, he had been angry with the sword. If he could not use the sword he would guarantee that no one else could use the sword. He would break it and kill Inuyasha. He practically dared Tessaiga to attack him. He had become angry and changed form. His only anger at Inuyasha was that even though he had Tessaiga he could not unlock its secrets whereas he could unlock the secrets so easily and yet its power was denied to him. In the battle he discovered Inuyasha’s weakness. He could not kill his brother Sesshourmaru had vowed to use that against him.
He had adapted. Found another sword only to find that his brother had a secret weakness which required him to save the boy instead of killing him. The sword broke and another was provided to him over the bodies of Rin and Kagura. Yet in the end he had learned that he had to hand over all of his power to his brother. He had find the power he sought within himself.
All of this begged the question. Did he hate his brother? The answer was so simple it surprised him. No. He realized further that he had never hated his brother. The things that he hated had become irrelevant. He no longer need anything from his father. His power had come from within. His happiness had come from being with his wife and child. He had not been jealous of Inuyasha and Kagome. Somehow he knew that she was one intended for him. She had agreed. It had nothing to do with Inuyasha and everything to do with the two of them.
“Rin, This Sesshourmaru does not hate Inuyasha. The injuries he inflicted were merely momentary scratches. Irrelevant to me. Why do you ask Rin?”
“ Lord Sesshourmaru, when I heard the stories about how Inuyasha injured you, I became angry at Inuyasha. For the first time in my life, I hated someone because they hurt you. I came here because I wanted to ask you whether you hated Inuyasha because of your injuries like I did. Now that I have heard you say that you do not hate Inuyasha, I am confused. I was filled with hate and now I do not know what to do with those feelings. I hated the fact that you had been injured by Inuyasha.
I wanted to lash out at him. Now you tell me that you never hated Inuyasha. I do not know what to feel.”
“Rin. Who told you these stories.”
“ The kitsune was telling these stories to Miroku and Sango’s children. I was helping Sango take care of them while Miroku and Inuyasha were demon slaying. I asked Jaken to confirm what the stories and he brought me here.”
Sesshoumaru’s face became stony. The monk had slacked off on his duty. He would have to punished. Jaken should not be telling Rin these stories He should not have brought her to the Western Shiro. She should be back in the village learning how to be a human. Jaken and Miroku would have to be dealt with later. For the moment there was the question of what to do with Rin. Kagome was human. Surely, she would have a solution. She was so good with Toga. Rin should be simple to handle.
Rin was ushered into Kagome’s chamber. She was not sure why she was here. Kagome had always been kind to her in the village. She knew that Kagome had been involved in the giving the sword to Inuyasha and inspiring him to protect her. It seemed strange that the person whom Lord Sesshourmaru had tried to kill now was his wife. How could hate turn into love.
“Rin. Why are you here?”
“Lady Kagome. Shippou and Jaken told me stories of how Lord Inuyasha injured Lord Sesshourmaru in three fights over Tessaiga. It made me angry that Lord Inuyasha had injured My Lord and taken the sword from him. I wanted to hate him. I even wanted to hate you for helping Lord Inuyasha and giving him the sword instead of Lord Sesshourmaru. But when I asked Lord Sesshourmaru if he hated Lord Inuyasha, he told me that he had never hated Lord Inuyasha. I am confused I assumed that he would hate Lord Inuyasha for what he had done, but he does not. If Lord Sesshourmaru does not hate him how can I. Lord Sesshourmaru asked me to talk to you. I know you love Lord Sesshourmaru now and that you loved Lord Inuyasha. Did you hate Lord Sesshourmaru then and do you hate Lord Inuyasha now.”
Kagome listened to Rin. It was clear that she was affected by her love for Sesshourmaru. Obviously, Rin had never hated anyone in her life. She was misinterpreting her anger toward Inuyasha to be hate. Akago had tried to fool her into thinking her feelings toward Inuyasha and Kikyou were hate. It was her love for Inuyasha which had prevented her from giving to the feelings of hate which would have controlled. Although, Rin did not have any feelings of love for Inuyasha, she had never expressed any hate for him before this incident. Perhaps Kagome could explain how she felt toward Inuyasha and Sesshourmaru.
“ When I first arrived I was the about the same age that you are now. I thought Inuyasha was a rude, obnoxious, two-timing jerk. Over time I came to realize that I loved him. This love helped me overcome the feelings of jealousy I had toward his relationship with Kikyou. His love sustained me during the three years that we were separated. I left my world to come to him because I could not live without him. I married him because I loved him. I still love him today, but not as much I do Sesshourmaru.
“ What about Sesshourmaru?”
“When I first met Sesshourmaru he made me angry. He pulled out Inuyasha’s eye and used a no woman who pretended to be his mother to try to trick him into revealing where the sword was.
When I pulled the sword out, he doused me with poison. Inuyasha tried to get me to give the sword to Sesshoumaru, but I insisted that he take. The sword only transformed after Inuyasha told me that he would protect me. I do not think that I hated Sesshoumaru. I think his attacks made me angry because I was with Inuyasha. and he was trying to take the sword. The second time he attacked us, he was using an arm he obtained from Naraku. with a jewel shard in it. When I reversed the transformation he attacked me and Inuyasha. had to save me. He continued to attack Inuyasha until he discovered that Inuyasha’s blood caused him to transform into a youkai when his life was threatened and he did not have Tessaiga. He never attacked Inuyasha again until the meidou incident when he used the mirror shards to steal Tessaiga’s powers. We spent a little time together inside Naraku at the end. Mostly I was trying to prevent him from killing Inuyasha, but he did not keep the youkai away. It was only after I came back that began to be attracted to him.He was my comfort while Inuyasha was away with Miroku. I came to realize that I loved him more than Inuyasha. Once I was pregnant with his child, I realized that I could not live without him. I never really hated him, but I came to love him as my mate. With Inuyasha I started disliking him and came to love him. After I came back I realized that while I love Inuyasha, it is Sesshoumaru that I want to spend the rest of my life with him not Inuyasha.”
“ So how do I deal with my feelings of anger toward Inuyasha?”
A gleam came into Kagome eyes. “ Would you be satisfied if Inuyasha did something to show that
he was truly sorry for what he did to Sesshoumaru?” Rin nodded
Inuyasha wondered how he got into these situations. Maybe he just could not refuse anything that any woman suggested. Somehow he found himself agreeing to apologize to Sesshoumaru for every real and imagined harm which he had ever done to him. It was not bad enough that Kagome had asked him personally, but she had explained that Rin would never forgive him if he did not do this. So here he was looking like some effeminate kabuki actor about to offer his sword to Sesshoumaru. They had explained to him again and again that it was simply a formality. Sesshoumaru would not actually take the sword. He would simply acknowledge Inuyasha as his vassal whatever that meant. He was not sure about all this. Instead of a private ceremony, he found himself alone in the court of the Lord of the West surrounded by the flower of youkai nobility. It was embarrassing Best to get this over with. He bowed and raised the sword over his head.
“I humbly beg you forgiveness. I acknowledge you as Lord and offer my sword in defense of your lands and person.”
Sesshoumaru rose “ I accept your offer of service. You are my man. I hereby name you as the Champion of my heir, Toga to fight in his stead whenever he is challenged. I further name you as Protector of my ward. I charge you with her protection. Do you agree to these conditions.”
Inuyasha heard himself agreeing to these conditions, though it seemed like he was watching himself from outside of his body.
“ Rise, Lord Inuyasha, Champion of Toga and Protector of Rin. You are now my vassal and pledged to my service. I will protect you so long as you act with honor.”
Inuyasha could not believe it. He survived death and losing two women only to end up as Sesshoumaru’s vassal. He would have better off going to hell with Kikyou.
Author: landofthekwt
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #13 I want to hurt you
Word Count: 5638
Pairing: Inuyasha/Rin, Sesshoumaru/Kagome, Miroku/Sango
Warning: None
Summary: Rin discovers hate when Inuyasha’s past injuries to Sesshoumaru are revealed.
Left_Behind Chapter 6
The commission to kill a youkai was a welcome break for all of them. It freed Rin and Inuyasha from the roles as students and Miroku from his role as teacher. Even Sango was glad to see Miroku go. He had been driving her crazy with his constant attention. She needed a break from romance which the former monk seemed in constant need.
Rin was the perfect companion. She was now old enough to assist Sango with the rearing of their four children. Sango appreciated her even more when it was determined that she was pregnant with the couples fifth child. Rin was an apt pupil. She seemed to be at the age when children actually interested her. Sango wondered if Rin wanted children of her own..
Kaede also appreciated the reprieve. It seemed as if Rin’s education as a priestess had been put on hold in order to satisfy Kagome’s desire to see Rin educated in the manner in which she had been educated. Kaede had hoped that by now Rin would be helping her with the many of the duties of the priestess that had become too burdensome for her at her age.
By pure coincidence. Shippou’s training hit a lull. He now found more time to share his stories with the children. Sango did not mind. The boy had ability to enthrall her children with tales of the quest. It served to inspire them and make them dream of being taijiya like their mother and uncle. It also helped them fall asleep without a struggle. Sango could have kissed him.
Rin had never heard the full story of the quest. To her the stories were eye opening. Much of her quest had consisted of waiting for Lord Sesshoumaru. Neither he nor Jaken had been forthcoming about any of the details of the quest they were involved. Sometimes it seemed that Rin had been along for the ride.
Not that she regretted anything that happened. Lord Sesshoumaru had brought her back to live twice. He had saved her from Naraku again and again. Instead of her dreadful life in the village where her parents had died, she had become the ward of the Lord of the West, a person that she loved and adored. To her Lord Sesshoumaru could do no wrong.
The stories that Shippou told were shocking to her. It told of a Sesshoumaru who tried to kill Kagome and Inuyasha inside of his father’s tomb. To her Lord Sesshoumaru was entitled to Tessaiga. He was justified in trying to kill them for their interference in this quest. It surprised her that Lord Sesshoumaru did not succeed. What most surprised her was that Inuyasha had used
Tessaiga to cut off her Lord’s arm.
Lord Sesshoumaru had always been missing an arm. It never occurred to her that Lord Inuyasha had cut off the arm. When Lord Sesshoumaru’s arm reappeared when Bakusaiga was born, she had taken in stride. He had the arm for the nearly six years now. She had almost forgotten about his arm being missing until now. Her anger roused against Lord Inuyasha who had the gall to take Tessaiga and the arm of Lord Sesshoumaru.
She was also bothered by the fact that his father had chosen to give Tenseiga to Sesshoumaru and Tessaiga to Inuyasha. Obviously, her lord as first son should have received his fathers most powerful sword upon his death. It was so unfair that he had chosen to give Tessaiga to the undeserving Inuyasha instead of her lord. She was angry at Kagome because Tessaiga had allowed her to draw it instead of Lord Sesshoumaru and protected her from his poison. Worse, she had given the sword to Inuyasha instead of Lord Sesshoumaru.
She continued to simmer when Shippou revealed another battle between her Lord and Inuyasha.Shippou had the gall to point out that Lord Sesshoumaru had borrowed an arm and a Jewel shard from Naraku to allow him to wield Tessaiga. It seemed clear to her that her Lord was entitled to Tessaiga. He was the strongest of the two. He was the first born. He understood Tessaiga better than Inuyasha and knew how use it better.
It angered her that Inuyasha had chosen to rip off the arm. He deserved the whole in his stomach he received for stealing Tessaiga from her Lord. Again, she was angry at Kagome for reversing the transformation of Tessaiga. If she had not interfered her Lord would have taken the sword which was rightfully his. She thought her Lord generous under the circumstances in allowing them to live.
The last story she heard was about Lord Inuyasha’s discovery of the Windscar. It seemed to her that Lord Inuyasha was much inferior to her Lord. Her Lord had understood the mysteries of the sword hundreds of years before Inuyasha was born. She thrilled a the challenge that he had cast at Inuyasha. He had fought off Tessaiga with only his poison and a dragon’s claw. It seemed only luck that the boy had found the Windscar when he was blinded by poison.
The Inu-taichi had assumed that Lord Sesshoumaru had died when he disappeared. They were surprised when Totosai told them that Tenseiga had protected him and that Inuyasha was unable to kill him. Rin refused to believe that anyone could kill her Lord. She discounted their belief that Inuyasha could have killed him even if he wanted to do so.
What disturbed Rin most was the timing of the Windscar attack on Lord Sesshoumaru. The injuries and timing seemed to correspond to the time and situation that she had found Lord Sesshoumaru. She was outraged. How could Inuyasha have done something like that to her Lord. She had seen him in pain. Covered with blood and burns. He had been unable to move. Barely able to open his eyes.
Although she had brought him food day after day at the risk of her life and limb, he had refused all of her efforts to feed hm. Still she knew somehow that he had recovered through her efforts.Now she knew who had caused all of those injuries to her Lord. She was outraged. How could Inuyasha have done that to her Lord. How could the others have stood by and allowed it to happen. It was too much too handle. She ran out of the crying. She would find a way to get revenge for her Lord.
She would have to rethink all of her attitudes toward the Inutachi. It never occurred to her that all of these people had some part in harming her Lord. She had not known that Inuyasha had taken Tessaiga from her Lord or that Kagome had assisted him in this theft. Most of all she hated Lord Inuyasha for hurting her Lord. He had taken his arm twice and nearly killed him with the Wind Scar. She was not sure that she could ever forgive him for that.
It was a new feeling for her. She was not sure where to go. Inuyasha was not around to scream at.She needed someone or something to hit, to smash, to lash out. Someone must feel the hate that she felt. The pain that she felt for all that her Lord had suffered. Someone must suffer for the pain he felt. The humiliation he felt in being so weak that he could not even force a little girl to go away. At last she understood his anger at her that day that he met her. He was not angry at her.It was Inuyasha. He was angry at his brother and how his brother had defeated him.
But Inuyasha was not here. She had to find Jaken. He would know what happened. Kagome would remember, but she was in the role of an accomplice. How could her lord bear to be with the one who had helped Inuyasha hurt the one she loved. It boggled her mind. Kagome was the last person she would want to meet. She yearned to be with Lord Sesshoumaru. to comfort him for all of the pain that he had suffered. And so she bid Kaede goodbye and went to see out Jaken.
Jaken was standing on the hill overlooking the village when she found him. Ah-Un was munching on grass in the meadow. She rushed up to him and seized him. “Tell me everything about how Lord Sesshoumaru was injured in the fights with Inuyasha. I must know what Inuyasha did to him.”
Jaken was surprised. He had never seen Rin so angry before. She was always the happy girl. The one who calmly waited for Lord Sesshoumaru. The girl who sang songs and picked flowers. These of course were all the reasons he thought that she was silly and could never understood what a powerful lord like Sesshoumaru saw in such a foolish girl. He was not sure what had set it off, but he liked her angry. Better she learn the truth about her so-called friends from him. He would leave out all mention of Kagome just in case the story got back to Sesshoumaru. He had been humiliated by Kagome in the fight in the tomb and beaten by Miroku in the fight in which Lord Sesshoumaru used the shard given to him by Naraku. Better leave that out of the story.
In Jaken’s world, the Inu no Taisho and Inuyasha shared the blame for the problem with the swords. Tessaiga should have been left to Sesshoumaru on the death of the Dog General. Then Inuyasha would never have entered the picture. The Leader of the Dogs had been so unfair. He had hidden the path to the sword in the pearl in Inuyasha’s eye forcing Sesshoumaru to pull out Inuyasha’s eye to get the black pearl
It should have been so simple, but again the Inu no Taisho intervened. He had placed a barrier on the sword which prevented Lord Sesshoumaru from using. Instead, the girl who was now his mistress had been able to pull it out. He intentionally omitted the part where Lord Sesshoumaru buried her in his dokassou. It did not put his Lord in a good light and Kagome was now his mistress. She might not like being reminded that his mate had tried to kill you. .
.Lord Sesshoumaru was actually trying to give Inuyasha a chance to prove that he could handle the sword. He could have stayed in his humanoid form and Inuyasha would not have stood a chance. Instead, he became the Beast which Jaken knew was more brawn than brains. It had created the opening that Inuyasha needed when he found out how to make the sword transform Again, Jaken tactfully omitted Kagome’s role in the swords transformation. Better to let Rin think that it was Inuyasha’s fault. Which of course it was. They had been looking for the sword for two hundred years. On the brink of victory, Lord Sesshoumaru lost his arm and the sword in one fell swoop. It was obviously, Inuyasha’s fault. He was the one who struck the blow that cut off Lord Sesshoumaru’s arm and took the prized sword. Obviously, he must pay for his what he had done.
Lord Sesshoumaru had blamed him for the execution of the plan to find the sword. He ignored the fact that his plan had revealed the location of the Jewel. It was not his fault that Inuyasha could use the sword whereas his Lord could not. He did not force him to change form. Worse yet it set the stage for the next misadventure. Lord Sesshoumaru was so obsessed with finding a substitute for his missing arm that he jumped at the chance that Naraku offered him. Then when he recovered Tessaiga instead of leaving or killing Inuyasha immediately he spent his time demonstrating his superiority to the hanyou.
He left out how Kagome had saved Inuyasha by reversing the transformation. All it did was infuriate Sesshoumaru and require Inuyasha to save her. He also decided to omit Sesshoumaru’s evisceration of Inuyasha. Instead he concentrated on Inuyasha’s retaking of the sword. It put his boss in a much better light. Rin already thought him the victim of the hanyou’s actions. Who was he to disabuse her. They left Inuyasha unconscious and gutted after all. No need to tell her that her lord had nearly died as Naraku took back his jewel shard. Better to let her think that it was Inuyasha’s fault.
The last scenario had been planned by Lord Sesshoumaru. The hanyou was poisoned in the first battlee. All his lord had to do was wait for Inuyasha to fall over and take the sword. The idea had seemed so simple. Instead he felt it necessary to kill a dragon so that he could fight against Tessaiga using its arm.. When the arm was destroyed, Sesshoumaru became enraged at his brothers handling of Tessaiga that he decided to change form and put Tessaiga out of its misery. Again his Lord had not anticipated that Tessaiga would chose that moment to allow his brother to scent the Wound of the Wind. As a result Sesshoumaru was nearly killed.
Jaken did not witness the actual fight. His reports were based on the what he had been told by Totosai, Sesshoumaru and the Inutaichi. By the time he reached Lord Sesshoumaru he had already recovered and was already planning to use Inuyasha’s unwillingness to kill him against him. Rin would come into both their lives at nearly the same time. His views were colored by his love of Sesshoumaru, his hatred of Inuyasha as the enemy of his Lord and his unswerving belief that Lord Sesshoumaru was justified in everything that he did to recover the sword which had been unfairly denied to him by his father.
As a result Rin heard a version of the fights over the sword which stoked her anger against the hanyou. She had to go to Lord Sesshoumaru. By being with Inuyasha she had been consorting with the enemy. She had actually been kind to a person who had hurt Lord Sesshoumaru. The person whom she had been helping teach was person who had stolen something that belonged to Lord Sesshoumaru. She demanded that Jaken take her to the Western Shiro to see Lord Sesshourmaru. He would tell her the truth. She just needed to know.
Jaken tried to resist her, but she was bigger than he was and had always been able to get her way Soon they were flying aboard Ah-Un toward the Western Shiro. Rin seemed to finally have settled down. Jaken wanted to know what this was all about. He had never seen that look in Rin’s eyes. She had forgiven Kagura, Kohaku and Kouga for what they had done to her. If he did not know better he might have believed that Rin hated someone. That was impossible. Rin was always smiling. She never hated anyone. He tried to think back about the stories he had told her. They all involved Lord Sesshoumaru’s quest for Tessaiga.
Suddenly it hit him. Her anger seemed most intense when he related how Inuyasha had injured her Lord. Could that be it? He knew how devoted Rin was to Lord Sesshoumaru. She had never heard how he had lost his arm. To hear that a person she had become close to was responsible for all of her Lords’s misery must be shocking. She had been the person who nursed Lord Sesshoumaru back to health. She was the only one who knew how close to death he had been. Could her feelings about those wounds still be so strong that they could stir up hatred against the person who caused those injuries after all this time.
Jaken looked at her in a new light. He had always thought himself Lord Sesshoumaru’s most loyal retainer. He had fought alongside Lord Sesshoumaru for all of those long years trying to find the sword only to have it stolen by Inuyasha. His anger had subsided long ago when his master’s wounds healed. Lord Sesshoumaru was more powerful than ever. Bakusaiga dwarfed anything that Tessaiga could do. Lord Sesshoumaru had become the daiyoukai that he always dreamed about through his own efforts. He even had Inuyasha’s wench. If that was not revenge he did not know what was. He might remember those events, but they no longer caused him anger.
To Rin the events were still fresh. The wounds were still bitter. She did not get to Lord Sesshoumaru on a daily basis. He was still her Prince Charming and the Western Shiro was their fairy tale castle Her Lord was invulnerable. To see him wounded must be a horror to her. It was no wonder that she held hatred toward the one who had caused pain to her Lord. Someone must have told her about the Sword fights. That was the only explanation for her current mood.
The question was what was he supposed to do about it. They were coming unannounced. Lord Sesshoumaru would want to know why they were there. It would stir up a quarrel which was buried. None of the participants in the quarrel had shown any anger since the birth of the heir. Would Rin serve to revive the bitter relations between the parties. He may have been angry once at Inuyasha, but as his Lord’s anger had cooled so had his own. Inuyasha’s name had not been spoken in the Western Shiro since Toga had been named Lord Sesshourmaru’s heir. If Rin came with fire in her eyes now, it might rekindle all of the bitter feelings. Worse yet Lord Sesshourmaru might blame him for bringing Rin to the Western Shiro at this time.
Jaken assured that Rin gained entrance to Sesshourmaru’s chambers by bribing the guards and calling in favors. In the end he counted that Lord Sesshoumaru would never refuse Rin anything. Sesshoumaru looked up at Rin. It was hard to believe that this girl was now fifteen summers old. She had been a waif of eight when he had met her all of those years ago. Until he started buying her kimonos she had worn the same dirty and torn kimonos all of the time that he knew her. At the time he thought nothing about it, but when she became settled in the village he knew that her dress would signify her status.
As a result she began to wear kimonos which classified her as a lady of the court of the Western Shiro instead of an orphaned peasant girl. Rin was after all his ward. He was her guardian . It would not be proper for her to watch her dress like a ragamuffin. She might be being raised to learn everything the old priestess knew, but that was not her end in life. Her fate rested with him. Her life belonged to him. Only he could decide whom she married. If he chose to call her to the Western Shiro she would reside there. The question was why was she here now. He had not asked her to visit. So far as he knew he should be in the little village by Edo being educated by the monk. Yet the kappa had brought her to the Western Shiro against his express wishes. Jaken risked life and limb to bring her. Sesshoumaru made a mental note that the his death should be especially gruesome.
“Why are you here, Rin?”
She had never been afraid of Lord Sesshoumaru, but she had placed in such high regard that she assumed was beyond her reach. Now here he was actually asking her a question. She paused.Sesshoumaru had always been patient with Rin. He would wait till she was ready. At length she
gathered her courage and spoke.
“ Did it hurt?”
“ Did what hurt, Rin?”
“ Did it hurt when Lord Inuyasha cut off your arm?”
“ This Sesshoumaru is impervious to pain.”
Rin thought about that awhile. It seemed that he was in pain when he was under her care. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be suffering from his wounds. It was what attracted her to him. The villagers might starve her and beat her, but she would never allow another being to suffer as she did. Bringing him food and water was the least she could do.
“Did it make you angry when Lord Inuyasha cut off your arm?”
Sesshourmaru set back and reflected. Was he angry when Tessaiga cut off his arm? Yes, but his anger was not about his arm being cut off. His anger was at his father for denying him Tessaiga. He was forced to fight for the sword within his father’s body. His father saw his humiliation at the hands of a hanyou who was not worthy to clean up after his poop. The entrance to the tomb had been hidden on Inuyasha’s body. The sword refused to accept him and punished him for trying to take it. He barely acknowledged that it had been Inuyasha who had beaten him. In his mind it had been his father and the sword combining to thwart his rise to power. The fleas presence was evidence of the conspiracy even though it was clear that the insect knew nothing.
“ I was angry at the time, but it passed.”
“ Were you angry at Lord Inuyasha when he cut off your arm?”
“No.”
This answer surprised Rin. She was angry at Inuyasha for cutting off her Lord’s arm. She assumed that he would be angry at Inuyasha also. It was not what she expected. She expected her hatred of Inuyasha for injuring her Lord to be validated. Instead, he left her with more questions than answers.
“ You did not hate him for cutting off your arm.”
“ It was just an arm. As you see it grew back better than ever. Inuyasha was just holding the sword.”
“ Do you hate Inuyasha?”
Sesshourmaru thought about that question. When he had thought about Inuyasha it was always the fact that he was so inferior. He had human blood like Izayoi. He associated with humans like his father. His life belonged to him. Only he could decide if the boy lived or died. No else held that privilege. But hate. He hated what Inuyasha represented. The father who had associated with humans and sired a son with Izayoi. The person whom his father had died saving The person to whom everything had been given whereas his father had in the end denied him any power.
The father who had forced him to learn his lessons over the bodies of Rin and Kagura. The father who required him to find his own source of power. It had nothing to do with Inuyasha, but his father was dead while Inuyasha provided a convenient target and outlet for his anger. No, he had not been angry at Inuyasha for cutting off his arm. At the time it simply represented a set back. He tried to find another arm, but his bargain with Naraku nearly cost him his life.
He assumed that Inuyasha would surrender the sword when he realized that fighting was pointless and that he would never learn how to use the sword. The boy had surprised him by fighting to protect the lives of his friends. He seemed stronger when he was fighting to protect Kagome in particular. That fact had affected his reasoning when he fell in love with her. Inuyasha was right. She was worth fighting for. In the end she had given Inuyasha no choice. She had simply walked away with him. Inuyasha could not fight against her.
When Inuyasha found the Windscar, he had been angry with the sword. If he could not use the sword he would guarantee that no one else could use the sword. He would break it and kill Inuyasha. He practically dared Tessaiga to attack him. He had become angry and changed form. His only anger at Inuyasha was that even though he had Tessaiga he could not unlock its secrets whereas he could unlock the secrets so easily and yet its power was denied to him. In the battle he discovered Inuyasha’s weakness. He could not kill his brother Sesshourmaru had vowed to use that against him.
He had adapted. Found another sword only to find that his brother had a secret weakness which required him to save the boy instead of killing him. The sword broke and another was provided to him over the bodies of Rin and Kagura. Yet in the end he had learned that he had to hand over all of his power to his brother. He had find the power he sought within himself.
All of this begged the question. Did he hate his brother? The answer was so simple it surprised him. No. He realized further that he had never hated his brother. The things that he hated had become irrelevant. He no longer need anything from his father. His power had come from within. His happiness had come from being with his wife and child. He had not been jealous of Inuyasha and Kagome. Somehow he knew that she was one intended for him. She had agreed. It had nothing to do with Inuyasha and everything to do with the two of them.
“Rin, This Sesshourmaru does not hate Inuyasha. The injuries he inflicted were merely momentary scratches. Irrelevant to me. Why do you ask Rin?”
“ Lord Sesshourmaru, when I heard the stories about how Inuyasha injured you, I became angry at Inuyasha. For the first time in my life, I hated someone because they hurt you. I came here because I wanted to ask you whether you hated Inuyasha because of your injuries like I did. Now that I have heard you say that you do not hate Inuyasha, I am confused. I was filled with hate and now I do not know what to do with those feelings. I hated the fact that you had been injured by Inuyasha.
I wanted to lash out at him. Now you tell me that you never hated Inuyasha. I do not know what to feel.”
“Rin. Who told you these stories.”
“ The kitsune was telling these stories to Miroku and Sango’s children. I was helping Sango take care of them while Miroku and Inuyasha were demon slaying. I asked Jaken to confirm what the stories and he brought me here.”
Sesshoumaru’s face became stony. The monk had slacked off on his duty. He would have to punished. Jaken should not be telling Rin these stories He should not have brought her to the Western Shiro. She should be back in the village learning how to be a human. Jaken and Miroku would have to be dealt with later. For the moment there was the question of what to do with Rin. Kagome was human. Surely, she would have a solution. She was so good with Toga. Rin should be simple to handle.
Rin was ushered into Kagome’s chamber. She was not sure why she was here. Kagome had always been kind to her in the village. She knew that Kagome had been involved in the giving the sword to Inuyasha and inspiring him to protect her. It seemed strange that the person whom Lord Sesshourmaru had tried to kill now was his wife. How could hate turn into love.
“Rin. Why are you here?”
“Lady Kagome. Shippou and Jaken told me stories of how Lord Inuyasha injured Lord Sesshourmaru in three fights over Tessaiga. It made me angry that Lord Inuyasha had injured My Lord and taken the sword from him. I wanted to hate him. I even wanted to hate you for helping Lord Inuyasha and giving him the sword instead of Lord Sesshourmaru. But when I asked Lord Sesshourmaru if he hated Lord Inuyasha, he told me that he had never hated Lord Inuyasha. I am confused I assumed that he would hate Lord Inuyasha for what he had done, but he does not. If Lord Sesshourmaru does not hate him how can I. Lord Sesshourmaru asked me to talk to you. I know you love Lord Sesshourmaru now and that you loved Lord Inuyasha. Did you hate Lord Sesshourmaru then and do you hate Lord Inuyasha now.”
Kagome listened to Rin. It was clear that she was affected by her love for Sesshourmaru. Obviously, Rin had never hated anyone in her life. She was misinterpreting her anger toward Inuyasha to be hate. Akago had tried to fool her into thinking her feelings toward Inuyasha and Kikyou were hate. It was her love for Inuyasha which had prevented her from giving to the feelings of hate which would have controlled. Although, Rin did not have any feelings of love for Inuyasha, she had never expressed any hate for him before this incident. Perhaps Kagome could explain how she felt toward Inuyasha and Sesshourmaru.
“ When I first arrived I was the about the same age that you are now. I thought Inuyasha was a rude, obnoxious, two-timing jerk. Over time I came to realize that I loved him. This love helped me overcome the feelings of jealousy I had toward his relationship with Kikyou. His love sustained me during the three years that we were separated. I left my world to come to him because I could not live without him. I married him because I loved him. I still love him today, but not as much I do Sesshourmaru.
“ What about Sesshourmaru?”
“When I first met Sesshourmaru he made me angry. He pulled out Inuyasha’s eye and used a no woman who pretended to be his mother to try to trick him into revealing where the sword was.
When I pulled the sword out, he doused me with poison. Inuyasha tried to get me to give the sword to Sesshoumaru, but I insisted that he take. The sword only transformed after Inuyasha told me that he would protect me. I do not think that I hated Sesshoumaru. I think his attacks made me angry because I was with Inuyasha. and he was trying to take the sword. The second time he attacked us, he was using an arm he obtained from Naraku. with a jewel shard in it. When I reversed the transformation he attacked me and Inuyasha. had to save me. He continued to attack Inuyasha until he discovered that Inuyasha’s blood caused him to transform into a youkai when his life was threatened and he did not have Tessaiga. He never attacked Inuyasha again until the meidou incident when he used the mirror shards to steal Tessaiga’s powers. We spent a little time together inside Naraku at the end. Mostly I was trying to prevent him from killing Inuyasha, but he did not keep the youkai away. It was only after I came back that began to be attracted to him.He was my comfort while Inuyasha was away with Miroku. I came to realize that I loved him more than Inuyasha. Once I was pregnant with his child, I realized that I could not live without him. I never really hated him, but I came to love him as my mate. With Inuyasha I started disliking him and came to love him. After I came back I realized that while I love Inuyasha, it is Sesshoumaru that I want to spend the rest of my life with him not Inuyasha.”
“ So how do I deal with my feelings of anger toward Inuyasha?”
A gleam came into Kagome eyes. “ Would you be satisfied if Inuyasha did something to show that
he was truly sorry for what he did to Sesshoumaru?” Rin nodded
Inuyasha wondered how he got into these situations. Maybe he just could not refuse anything that any woman suggested. Somehow he found himself agreeing to apologize to Sesshoumaru for every real and imagined harm which he had ever done to him. It was not bad enough that Kagome had asked him personally, but she had explained that Rin would never forgive him if he did not do this. So here he was looking like some effeminate kabuki actor about to offer his sword to Sesshoumaru. They had explained to him again and again that it was simply a formality. Sesshoumaru would not actually take the sword. He would simply acknowledge Inuyasha as his vassal whatever that meant. He was not sure about all this. Instead of a private ceremony, he found himself alone in the court of the Lord of the West surrounded by the flower of youkai nobility. It was embarrassing Best to get this over with. He bowed and raised the sword over his head.
“I humbly beg you forgiveness. I acknowledge you as Lord and offer my sword in defense of your lands and person.”
Sesshoumaru rose “ I accept your offer of service. You are my man. I hereby name you as the Champion of my heir, Toga to fight in his stead whenever he is challenged. I further name you as Protector of my ward. I charge you with her protection. Do you agree to these conditions.”
Inuyasha heard himself agreeing to these conditions, though it seemed like he was watching himself from outside of his body.
“ Rise, Lord Inuyasha, Champion of Toga and Protector of Rin. You are now my vassal and pledged to my service. I will protect you so long as you act with honor.”
Inuyasha could not believe it. He survived death and losing two women only to end up as Sesshoumaru’s vassal. He would have better off going to hell with Kikyou.