every second to come
fanfiction ♦ Every Second to Come
fandom ♦ Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
pairing/characters ♦ Naoya/Loki
words ♦ 895
summary ♦ Naoya never really considered immortality.
notes ♦ Some people wake up at five am and roll over. I write this. SPOILERS for Devil Survivor and my own retarded headcanon to follow.
He’d never really wanted immortality. And with good reasons-in all his lifetimes, Naoya could quite honestly count the times he’d died of old age on one hand. He’d never considered wanting to live forever. He’d never had a reason to keep it up.
Naoya lay flat on his back in Eden (home, home, home) and stared at the sky, thoroughly disgusted by the irony of it all.
The curse was broken at the very instant he’d begun to think that maybe living forever like this wasn’t so bad, since he wasn’t alone.
You old bastard, you knew it was this way, didn’t you?
It was a strangely infuriating thought, honestly, that Yehowah had known, had known from the beginning, and that was why He’d never once targeted Loki. He’d known, known the entire time, and just as Cain’s heart had actually begun to heal from a 6,000-year-old wound, the curse was gone.
It’s a galling thought. Naoya drapes an arm over his eyes, and laughs, soft and humorless and appalled. He’d underestimated Him, and now He’d gotten the final laugh.
He’d never really considered immortality, but when the only people in the world he gave a damn about were immortal, what could he do but wonder?
Logically, Naoya knew it wouldn’t hurt. He’d die, and reincarnate, and he wouldn’t remember a fucking thing. He wouldn’t be lonely, or hurt, or feel any remorse whatsoever for abandoning them. He knew that, and somehow it didn’t sit any better.
He had to wonder when the hell his conscience had decided to show back up again. It hadn’t been around for the last six millennia, why show up now? It was aggravating, and annoying, and it offered no solution to a problem he’d been trying to avoid for 6,000 years.
(On day, Naoya decided, he was just going to have to kill Eros on principle. He was far too much trouble.)
For all Naoya’s experience, for all Naoya’s hundreds of centuries of life, he didn’t have an answer to this. As much as he’d loved his brother, had always loved his brother, even the day he’d killed him, he’d never thought himself still capable, after all this time, of falling in love with someone. Much less Loki, of all the people.
He had to wonder just when exactly his taste in love had gotten so bad. Sure, he was great in bed, but it had nothing to do with the sex, now did it?
Naoya had been about to doze off in the afternoon sun when a shadow fell over his eyes, and a presence flared across his senses. He cracked an eye open-Freya. She wasn’t a threat, but Loki hated her, and Naoya wasn’t much of a fan either.
She was more tolerable than Eros, he supposed.
“…What do you want?” Freya just laughed at his sullen tone, and Naoya twitched. Oh, of course she already knew-she was a goddess of love, after all, and these things couldn’t be hidden from her.
“I thought maybe I’d bring you a gift.”
“…With what price tag?” Naoya sat up now, wary…he didn’t trust gifts from anyone, much less a god. The goddess in front of him, however, just laughed again. Briefly, Naoya weighed the pros and cons of immolating her on the spot.
Too hard to clean up, he figured. And a pain in the ass to explain to Abel.
“It’s not from me, and there’s no price tag attached, dumbass.” -Ah, how refreshingly blunt the Aesir were, he’d almost forgotten-“It’s from Idun.”
That made Naoya sit straight up at attention. He remembered Idun, from a chance meeting not too very long after the curse was first placed on him. Of all the gods, he’d felt a certain camaraderie with her-her love for her garden was endearing, if nothing else, and Cain still bitterly longed for those peaceful days in his fields.
Freya held it out to him and he numbly took what was offered before staring down at it. A golden apple, ripe and rife with magical power, it’s meaning unmistakeable.
“She thought you might want it.” Naoya didn’t look up as Freya left, but continued to stare at the apple in his hand. And here they were again, six thousand years later, and Eve’s eldest son held an apple in his hand and thought about all the possibilities, and exactly what the price might be.
He heard Loki’s approach, his shoes crunching in the grass, but he still didn’t look up. Maybe…just possibly…
“Oi, what the hell did she want?” So Loki had seen Freya talk to him, but hadn’t overheard.Then he wouldn’t try to talk him out of this, and he was a fucking idiot if he thought his smiles and lies actually fooled Naoya for a second.
Motherfucker. He could have at least had the decency to say out loud he wanted Naoya to stay with him, then at least he could have blamed this insanity on Loki and gone on pretending.
“She was delivering something. From Idun.”
“Idun? Seriously? Cain, you never told me you were into---hey, wait is that--?
“You know, Loki, “ Naoya interrupted him with a wave of the hand. “I never really thought about this as immortality to begin with.”
The look on Loki’s face as Naoya took that first bite was worth every second to come.
fandom ♦ Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
pairing/characters ♦ Naoya/Loki
words ♦ 895
summary ♦ Naoya never really considered immortality.
notes ♦ Some people wake up at five am and roll over. I write this. SPOILERS for Devil Survivor and my own retarded headcanon to follow.
He’d never really wanted immortality. And with good reasons-in all his lifetimes, Naoya could quite honestly count the times he’d died of old age on one hand. He’d never considered wanting to live forever. He’d never had a reason to keep it up.
Naoya lay flat on his back in Eden (home, home, home) and stared at the sky, thoroughly disgusted by the irony of it all.
The curse was broken at the very instant he’d begun to think that maybe living forever like this wasn’t so bad, since he wasn’t alone.
You old bastard, you knew it was this way, didn’t you?
It was a strangely infuriating thought, honestly, that Yehowah had known, had known from the beginning, and that was why He’d never once targeted Loki. He’d known, known the entire time, and just as Cain’s heart had actually begun to heal from a 6,000-year-old wound, the curse was gone.
It’s a galling thought. Naoya drapes an arm over his eyes, and laughs, soft and humorless and appalled. He’d underestimated Him, and now He’d gotten the final laugh.
He’d never really considered immortality, but when the only people in the world he gave a damn about were immortal, what could he do but wonder?
Logically, Naoya knew it wouldn’t hurt. He’d die, and reincarnate, and he wouldn’t remember a fucking thing. He wouldn’t be lonely, or hurt, or feel any remorse whatsoever for abandoning them. He knew that, and somehow it didn’t sit any better.
He had to wonder when the hell his conscience had decided to show back up again. It hadn’t been around for the last six millennia, why show up now? It was aggravating, and annoying, and it offered no solution to a problem he’d been trying to avoid for 6,000 years.
(On day, Naoya decided, he was just going to have to kill Eros on principle. He was far too much trouble.)
For all Naoya’s experience, for all Naoya’s hundreds of centuries of life, he didn’t have an answer to this. As much as he’d loved his brother, had always loved his brother, even the day he’d killed him, he’d never thought himself still capable, after all this time, of falling in love with someone. Much less Loki, of all the people.
He had to wonder just when exactly his taste in love had gotten so bad. Sure, he was great in bed, but it had nothing to do with the sex, now did it?
Naoya had been about to doze off in the afternoon sun when a shadow fell over his eyes, and a presence flared across his senses. He cracked an eye open-Freya. She wasn’t a threat, but Loki hated her, and Naoya wasn’t much of a fan either.
She was more tolerable than Eros, he supposed.
“…What do you want?” Freya just laughed at his sullen tone, and Naoya twitched. Oh, of course she already knew-she was a goddess of love, after all, and these things couldn’t be hidden from her.
“I thought maybe I’d bring you a gift.”
“…With what price tag?” Naoya sat up now, wary…he didn’t trust gifts from anyone, much less a god. The goddess in front of him, however, just laughed again. Briefly, Naoya weighed the pros and cons of immolating her on the spot.
Too hard to clean up, he figured. And a pain in the ass to explain to Abel.
“It’s not from me, and there’s no price tag attached, dumbass.” -Ah, how refreshingly blunt the Aesir were, he’d almost forgotten-“It’s from Idun.”
That made Naoya sit straight up at attention. He remembered Idun, from a chance meeting not too very long after the curse was first placed on him. Of all the gods, he’d felt a certain camaraderie with her-her love for her garden was endearing, if nothing else, and Cain still bitterly longed for those peaceful days in his fields.
Freya held it out to him and he numbly took what was offered before staring down at it. A golden apple, ripe and rife with magical power, it’s meaning unmistakeable.
“She thought you might want it.” Naoya didn’t look up as Freya left, but continued to stare at the apple in his hand. And here they were again, six thousand years later, and Eve’s eldest son held an apple in his hand and thought about all the possibilities, and exactly what the price might be.
He heard Loki’s approach, his shoes crunching in the grass, but he still didn’t look up. Maybe…just possibly…
“Oi, what the hell did she want?” So Loki had seen Freya talk to him, but hadn’t overheard.Then he wouldn’t try to talk him out of this, and he was a fucking idiot if he thought his smiles and lies actually fooled Naoya for a second.
Motherfucker. He could have at least had the decency to say out loud he wanted Naoya to stay with him, then at least he could have blamed this insanity on Loki and gone on pretending.
“She was delivering something. From Idun.”
“Idun? Seriously? Cain, you never told me you were into---hey, wait is that--?
“You know, Loki, “ Naoya interrupted him with a wave of the hand. “I never really thought about this as immortality to begin with.”
The look on Loki’s face as Naoya took that first bite was worth every second to come.