i Miss yOu sOo..

[un_expected_xo]

And my tears
They fall
My lip
Trembles
The hours that I'm wasting
Mourning your presence

And my mind is saying I'm better off
My heart still pours out the past
Sends signals to my brain
So strong
Triggers that I'm alone, lost
Gone..

I just can't help it.. I can't help that i miss him so much. I hate myself for it. I'm 15. Boyfriends are so poinless to have. It doesn't last forever, and it always ends. Badly. The thing is, with Justin, he never was my boyfriend. He was just this really cool guy that I was so comfortable around and that when I was with him, I felt safe no matter what. I felt vulnerable. Alive. Now without him.. I just feel so lost. So alone.

I tell myself, " I don't love him. I can't."
But the only is..
I think I do.

Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallejuah
-- Hallejuah