(no subject)
Ok, it's 4am. Why am I up? Mild case of insomnia. Just mild. I mean, i'm tired, but my mind hasn't slown down to that idling point where you just feeling like closing your eyes and letting nature take over. I'm listening to country music again. Mostly thanks to Tom (the big hick w/ his pick-up truck, lol) Work is going well. I'm slowly being given more responsibility, which means i'm closer and closer to a nice sized rasie. I love my car. Every day it feels more and more like mine. 2600+ miles, and i got it at the end of January. For some of the people who will read this, that's not too suprising. I've had a hard time sorting my feelings lately. Stuck on past some nights, deptermined to forget it others. Things with Katherine are alright, but I know that they aren't going anywhere. Why I continue, I don't know. Shania Twain is hot. Just a side note, cuz she's on TV. Not too much up other than work. I don't go out too much. Usually if i do it's either to dinner with Katherine or to Champions with Tom. It's gotten sad. people at Champions recognize us, and when we're playing, if you miss, you've lost, because the other person will run the table. Anyway, i'm off to try and make myself sleep. There's so much in my head, and no outlet for it available. I'm not one that can write in a diary and know that no1 will read it. That's half the reason I have this journal. I can type things, and know that they'll be read. i don't always know by who, or how those people will react, but the fact that someone else knows is all that matters. I find myself building walls again. I think I may go single soon. I kinda liked how my life was then. All I had was work and my bed, and I was ok with that. I saved more money. Granted i'm happy when i'm with Katherine, but there's something missing from it. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe i'm looking for faults. Maybe i'm making comparisons to Audrey still. Anyway you look at it, i'm not letting myself just relax and live. And when I do relax, my mother makes sure it doesn't last long. Do I wish I was still in College? sometimes, but not enough for me to change. Ok, current possibilities for the next year: Finish out at best buy, and move up to Towson with Tom in the Fall and work at a Best Buy up there. I've been looking at New York lately. Like the Rochester area. the only problem is the snow. my car and snow don't mix. A lot of people are asking me to go on Spring Break trips with them, but it's just not gonna happen. I've got too much money that I need to make. This summer should be good tho. Tom and I will be able to work together on side jobs and pull in a decent amount of money. the will pay for the advancements of my car. my goal is to pay it off in 3 years, not the allotted 5. It wil take a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but i'm willing to live with that. ok, now it's really time for bed. Hope everyone has had a fun time reading this. i've had a fun time writing.