02.
Vashta was even more displeased than I originally thought. To think that she would go and send me into a nightmare like that on purpose... Well, I suppose people didn't call her a demon without reason. So be it. I have no reason to waste my time on such an ingrate.
...What a nightmare, though. Of course it's nothing like the unbridled terror we faced at the end of the war, but it was like both of those awful days had been merged into one... and made even worse. The knowledge that I hurt him so badly still haunts me every time I use Dark Pulse. Every time I visit him or send him a letter. Every time Raticate looks at me with such disdain... as though she still wants to hit me again and again for what I did. I don't need to revisit that in my dreams as well.
I don't need to be reminded of Golduck, either. I wonder, sometimes, if he's still alive. is he being used as some sort of sick experiment? Used to battle and steal more Pokemon? Perhaps he was sold to some collector, or rich and eccentric man. Perhaps he escaped and found a better life. If he's still alive. I thought I could feel him praying for me too, then... Perhaps it's only wishful thinking.
Master. Golduck. Waluigi. Matthew and now Leon. They all left one way or another. To think, only a few months ago I was almost completely detached from other people. Even more recently I was trying to keep myself distanced, to little avail. Now? I have seen what the power love holds can do. The power to destroy, but the power to save as well. To conquer the darkness. Perhaps that's well worth the risk of heartbreak. I find myself not regretting my past bonds anymore. I'm glad for them. Perhaps one day I will meet somebody I can share that bond with for the rest of our lives. Perhaps not. I definitely won't if I keep my heart closed off.
It's funny how introspective a near-death experience can make you.
I... wonder if I've fully recovered from the use of the Hyper Beam. I haven't felt this weak since I was very young. Even with all the rest I've been able to get, and I have been avoiding overexertion since then... My clothing is fitting oddly; I've probably lost a bit of weight as well. There's this odd, almost instinctual feeling that
But soon I will be away from here with Falcon and some of the other faculty. Perhaps it will do me some good. A little vacation may be all I need.
On my return I believe I'll start writing up my scripts on the computer. At least I will have a backup copy of each of them... I suppose there is a reason people stopped using typewriters after all.
...What a nightmare, though. Of course it's nothing like the unbridled terror we faced at the end of the war, but it was like both of those awful days had been merged into one... and made even worse. The knowledge that I hurt him so badly still haunts me every time I use Dark Pulse. Every time I visit him or send him a letter. Every time Raticate looks at me with such disdain... as though she still wants to hit me again and again for what I did. I don't need to revisit that in my dreams as well.
I don't need to be reminded of Golduck, either. I wonder, sometimes, if he's still alive. is he being used as some sort of sick experiment? Used to battle and steal more Pokemon? Perhaps he was sold to some collector, or rich and eccentric man. Perhaps he escaped and found a better life. If he's still alive. I thought I could feel him praying for me too, then... Perhaps it's only wishful thinking.
Master. Golduck. Waluigi. Matthew and now Leon. They all left one way or another. To think, only a few months ago I was almost completely detached from other people. Even more recently I was trying to keep myself distanced, to little avail. Now? I have seen what the power love holds can do. The power to destroy, but the power to save as well. To conquer the darkness. Perhaps that's well worth the risk of heartbreak. I find myself not regretting my past bonds anymore. I'm glad for them. Perhaps one day I will meet somebody I can share that bond with for the rest of our lives. Perhaps not. I definitely won't if I keep my heart closed off.
It's funny how introspective a near-death experience can make you.
I... wonder if I've fully recovered from the use of the Hyper Beam. I haven't felt this weak since I was very young. Even with all the rest I've been able to get, and I have been avoiding overexertion since then... My clothing is fitting oddly; I've probably lost a bit of weight as well. There's this odd, almost instinctual feeling that
But soon I will be away from here with Falcon and some of the other faculty. Perhaps it will do me some good. A little vacation may be all I need.
On my return I believe I'll start writing up my scripts on the computer. At least I will have a backup copy of each of them... I suppose there is a reason people stopped using typewriters after all.