(no subject)

[umbrellarising]

I feel like a mime.
Trapped in an invisible box.
I can't get out because there is no way in.
Troubles:

I loathe double standards.
I seem to be the one who always gets the short end of the stick.

Why do I fear losing everything by speaking my mind?
Because I could lose everything.
Because I get flustered and confused.
Because my spirit is weak.
Doormat.

I see so many inspirational people around me.
They are beautiful.
I am beautiful.
Am I beautiful?
It's so ugly in here.

My heart and my head are so confused.
My body seems to know what it wants.
Fuck.
To be.
To hold.
To have.
Fucked.