(no subject)
I have this friend, Risa.
We've known eachother for..oh. I dont know 2 years I think? Maybe more maybe less. She's one of the greatest people I've met in my life and I'm fortunate that I actually got to talk to her on the phone for a few months.
But lately, things have gotten busy for both of us. Her, with writing, school and unfortunately other friends. Me? School, and my boyfriend.
Wait a minute, now I have friends, right? Sure I do. I have 2 classes of friends. Online and School. But do I have any outside of school friends? No. Most girls my age get together and do things with their other girl friend people and have a fun time. But unfortunately I dont have that lined up for myself.
My school friends are awesome. At school. But not one of them have really asked. "..Hey! Wana do this?" or "..Hey we should all get together and go see a movie or something" Nope. They do that on their own, without me. I Swear, it's like they're good friends in school, but outside of school i dont really exist. Hell, I dont even get an instant message.
My online friends? Just as awesome as school friends. I feel as if i know some of them as if we hang out in real life on a daily basis. But lets face it. I'm here and all of them are somewhere else. And I know they all have lives too, they do their stuff and come online when they can.
So basically, I feel bored. left out and unimportant. I hope I'm not being a drama queen.
Overall, this has gotten me thinking about Risa. She's the only one that IMs me and basically talks to me outside of school besides my boyfriend and family ( a given ) I dont know, lately we havent really talked much and I know it's probably because her novel writing.
Dont get me wrong, i completely support her dreams. I want her to write that novel and I want to be there to read it for her. I want her to have amazing friends wherever she goes and I wish nothing but happiness to her. But...I feel like i've been demoted or something.
We dont have much in common anymore.
I like Jrock she likes mostly Kpop
I hate writing, she loves it.
She seems more pessimistic while i try and be optimistic.
It's like black and white.
But bless her that she's found friends that love the same things as her. it's so cool. I hear about her good friends all the time and I just smile for her, but i know to a certain extent, we're drifting away from eachother.
I cant help to wonder If i'm like my mom.
She's got no friends. The ones she has? Online and at work. The ones online barely talk to her and the ones at work arent the type to hang out with her outside of work.
Sound familliar? Yeah, thought so.
I dont even know why I'm typing this. Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm just going through my periodic depression crap.
I guess I'm done now.
I WANT FRIENDS. :(
-Kyo
P.s.
My cat's getting skinny again and I'm scared.