(no subject)
the days go by in a dazish sorta way as i get anxious. i freal out bcause i cant do everything perfectly and i start feeling like a failure. but im not. i know im not. i just need to act that way.
i love anll who support me. they are awesome.
like friday, i couldnt go to 1st and 2nd period because i just COULDNT so i went to mass and then i talked to sue for awhile. that was really nice bc usually she just rolls her eyes like its raina again bc shes not a school. but i had told her on tuesday that i wasnt allowed to help at church anymore if i missed shcool as a punishment. so she was very encouraging and she listened as i tried to explain everything that was going on. what an awesome woman.
my great uncle gary is in town. he is the one i email with. i was sooo nervous to see him the first time, but i denied that to myself. i hadnt seen him in so long, like two years or something, and i feel like he expects so much from me. like he'll judge me. but he wont. and he expects so much bc in the past, i was able to give. but now im eroding like the shore where cape hatteras used to be.
but i talked to miralee tonite at youth group which was nice, and her daughter, christina was talking about things other than meds to help when i told her i dont like being dependent on meds. so im going to make her a list of things i like to do and shes going to help me. yay. shes very nice. she is due in june! i think its the 23rd but im not sure. but i hope miralee can come to equador bc its now right after graduation (so i can go to the beach with firends for spring break! and go to equador), and she said she wasnt goign to go out of the country until her son was back from iraq, but guess what!!! he is coming back in about 60 days!!!! im so happy for her. every time i see something on the news about soldiers dying i think of her. she is such an awesome woman. and she makes me laugh and i make her laugh.
and then marty too. tonights theme was to love or respect yourself or whatever. so we had to read that thing in corinthians "love is patient, kind blah blah blah but with our names in it instead of love. it was very cool. we had done it before on a youth council retreat, but it was neat bc everyone was very supportive. and we added ________ is beautiful. to the end. so the things i say to myeslf made by marty and friends are "i love myeslf just the way i am" and "i look good when im doin it!"
haha.
i also have 4 that barbara gave me to say. but those are somewhere on a piece of paper and u know how i am at keeping track of things.
just for amusement:
something about marietta and her going into the attic and coming down with three rolls of scotch tape on her arm. i dont remember what i was supposed to say...hahaha.
love thy neighbor as THYSELF.
gotta work on the second part.
i love anll who support me. they are awesome.
like friday, i couldnt go to 1st and 2nd period because i just COULDNT so i went to mass and then i talked to sue for awhile. that was really nice bc usually she just rolls her eyes like its raina again bc shes not a school. but i had told her on tuesday that i wasnt allowed to help at church anymore if i missed shcool as a punishment. so she was very encouraging and she listened as i tried to explain everything that was going on. what an awesome woman.
my great uncle gary is in town. he is the one i email with. i was sooo nervous to see him the first time, but i denied that to myself. i hadnt seen him in so long, like two years or something, and i feel like he expects so much from me. like he'll judge me. but he wont. and he expects so much bc in the past, i was able to give. but now im eroding like the shore where cape hatteras used to be.
but i talked to miralee tonite at youth group which was nice, and her daughter, christina was talking about things other than meds to help when i told her i dont like being dependent on meds. so im going to make her a list of things i like to do and shes going to help me. yay. shes very nice. she is due in june! i think its the 23rd but im not sure. but i hope miralee can come to equador bc its now right after graduation (so i can go to the beach with firends for spring break! and go to equador), and she said she wasnt goign to go out of the country until her son was back from iraq, but guess what!!! he is coming back in about 60 days!!!! im so happy for her. every time i see something on the news about soldiers dying i think of her. she is such an awesome woman. and she makes me laugh and i make her laugh.
and then marty too. tonights theme was to love or respect yourself or whatever. so we had to read that thing in corinthians "love is patient, kind blah blah blah but with our names in it instead of love. it was very cool. we had done it before on a youth council retreat, but it was neat bc everyone was very supportive. and we added ________ is beautiful. to the end. so the things i say to myeslf made by marty and friends are "i love myeslf just the way i am" and "i look good when im doin it!"
haha.
i also have 4 that barbara gave me to say. but those are somewhere on a piece of paper and u know how i am at keeping track of things.
just for amusement:
something about marietta and her going into the attic and coming down with three rolls of scotch tape on her arm. i dont remember what i was supposed to say...hahaha.
love thy neighbor as THYSELF.
gotta work on the second part.