Sounds of Silence...
I will write poetry one day perhaps again. Indeed soon I shall, but now is not the time.
To be lost in such confusion, t'is a shroud of mist which conceals that which the soul truly deems neccesary - And now lost in misaction the mind cannot bring itself to concieve that anything left can be done. Should I say rather that the mistakes now done cannot be undone, and create a wall of self-guilt which seizes my very heart and paralyzes me to the bone, causing little movement in the way of honor and morality as I run into the dark self-pity of my soul. Now the coward that I am chose to mislead and distract those from what I've done and claim a righteous position from something that cannot be true, a loss of face if anyone were to find out. My own undoing I will have caused and yet although I foresee the error of my ways I cannot change the path that I am on... This is what causes the illusion, the mist that blinds my path - Shall I be lost for my own mistakes? Have I attoned for my ways? This forever winding upon myself would be the beginning and end of my depression - A paradox which cannot be solved - There is no forgiveness until I can forgive myself, and until I can forgive myself I will not feel whole again...
Hm...
Well, yesterday I went to fencing. My day was brightened when my instructor said I had "Improved greatly". Perhaps I have a chance at the Ontario Winter Games after all? I'm ranked 146 out of 204 Epeeists that went to national tournaments. A couple thousand fencers didn't go to them though so that excludes a lot of fencers. I'm going to two days again as soon as my Young Driver's is over.
Young Drivers. Huh. I had an incar today, it was pretty easy I guess I "Did well" even though you're not really graded. Then inclass after - leaving little room for homework. Luckily I didn't have any (I work hard to get ahead.) so my night's been "Relaxing" for the most part.
Anyways, that's my little update.
Sincerely,
E.L
To be lost in such confusion, t'is a shroud of mist which conceals that which the soul truly deems neccesary - And now lost in misaction the mind cannot bring itself to concieve that anything left can be done. Should I say rather that the mistakes now done cannot be undone, and create a wall of self-guilt which seizes my very heart and paralyzes me to the bone, causing little movement in the way of honor and morality as I run into the dark self-pity of my soul. Now the coward that I am chose to mislead and distract those from what I've done and claim a righteous position from something that cannot be true, a loss of face if anyone were to find out. My own undoing I will have caused and yet although I foresee the error of my ways I cannot change the path that I am on... This is what causes the illusion, the mist that blinds my path - Shall I be lost for my own mistakes? Have I attoned for my ways? This forever winding upon myself would be the beginning and end of my depression - A paradox which cannot be solved - There is no forgiveness until I can forgive myself, and until I can forgive myself I will not feel whole again...
Hm...
Well, yesterday I went to fencing. My day was brightened when my instructor said I had "Improved greatly". Perhaps I have a chance at the Ontario Winter Games after all? I'm ranked 146 out of 204 Epeeists that went to national tournaments. A couple thousand fencers didn't go to them though so that excludes a lot of fencers. I'm going to two days again as soon as my Young Driver's is over.
Young Drivers. Huh. I had an incar today, it was pretty easy I guess I "Did well" even though you're not really graded. Then inclass after - leaving little room for homework. Luckily I didn't have any (I work hard to get ahead.) so my night's been "Relaxing" for the most part.
Anyways, that's my little update.
Sincerely,
E.L