I scream in vain! For anyone who'll listen!
I'm in a very... hmmm... Moody mood. I mean to say, multiple emotions have convulsed upon me at once. I think because I was talking about depression and suicide with my friend it brought those emotions back up in me. Most of me says that those emotions are wrong and you shouldn't feel them, especially because no one else likes them. But then part of me finds solace in such feelings... I can't live without that part of me.
I'll try and block those emotions and hide them as per norm.
Umm, well for once I actually hung out with a friend, but I feel somehow still isolate - seperated. I don't know what's gotten into me :\ Maybe it's the fact that I get to hang out with him on the sole condition that his g/f is present every moment of his waking hour. Well maybe not that much, every moment of his waking hour that she's not working or school's not on. *shrugs* Oh well.
I do feel still lonely, because lately online I haven't even been able to really talk with anyone, and when I do it always ends up in some form of arguement, or some bad emotions out of it. GIAH. Are my social skills so out of tune that I cannot get along with any of my own kind? Perhaps I should turn to the trees and animals, they seem to get along better with me.
I did a tarot reading last night ^_^. It feels good to actually be practicing my belief again! My faith is almost up to par as it's usual self. School takes a lot of time out of my life, leave's little for social/romantic/spiritual life. Guess I really don't have anything important to post really... Uhh - Oh! Chinese New Year in Two days! Woo hoo! It's up at my Uncle's place this year, and then on Sunday I have a fencing tournament (That I'm not prepped for ><)!
Next Tuesday I start YD. I'll be happy when I'm finished so I can see old friends I haven't seen in a long time because they're out of town/some too far away. Maybe I'll even go visit that outofreach girl (If permitted.).
Yup. So that's my rant for tonight, sweet dreams guys.
Sincerely,
E.L.
I'll try and block those emotions and hide them as per norm.
Umm, well for once I actually hung out with a friend, but I feel somehow still isolate - seperated. I don't know what's gotten into me :\ Maybe it's the fact that I get to hang out with him on the sole condition that his g/f is present every moment of his waking hour. Well maybe not that much, every moment of his waking hour that she's not working or school's not on. *shrugs* Oh well.
I do feel still lonely, because lately online I haven't even been able to really talk with anyone, and when I do it always ends up in some form of arguement, or some bad emotions out of it. GIAH. Are my social skills so out of tune that I cannot get along with any of my own kind? Perhaps I should turn to the trees and animals, they seem to get along better with me.
I did a tarot reading last night ^_^. It feels good to actually be practicing my belief again! My faith is almost up to par as it's usual self. School takes a lot of time out of my life, leave's little for social/romantic/spiritual life. Guess I really don't have anything important to post really... Uhh - Oh! Chinese New Year in Two days! Woo hoo! It's up at my Uncle's place this year, and then on Sunday I have a fencing tournament (That I'm not prepped for ><)!
Next Tuesday I start YD. I'll be happy when I'm finished so I can see old friends I haven't seen in a long time because they're out of town/some too far away. Maybe I'll even go visit that outofreach girl (If permitted.).
Yup. So that's my rant for tonight, sweet dreams guys.
Sincerely,
E.L.