Walk like a contradiction
Here's another way that I am a fricking walking contradiction... I have recently found out a lot of people are a lot like me so if this helps you to feel like you aren't completely alone then join my misery because it loves company. I get lonely often during downtime. But the thing is, my friend, Adam, called me tonight. He moved to VA last year. we used to hang out every day and we would usually do the same thing: nothing. Or basically watch tv. But we'd chat and laugh too. Well, today I didn't have anything to do and was kind of lonely because everyone was out doing stuff I didn't want to do. Adam called me and we chatted for 45 minutes on the phone just liked we'd do in person - literally with 0 difference and... because he was not physically in the room with me, I felt alone. But if he were in the room with me, we would've talked about the same stuff and done nothing more than we could do via phone. Ok so now for the contradiction part - I can also feel lonely in a crowded room. What gives? Am I lonely when I'm alone or when I'm with people? If both, I'm screwed. I hope this is just a stage I am going through - the stage of accepting that I am, in fact, an adult. And then that hopefully won't be as scary to me anymore.