as-yet-untitled fic [EDIT: "Testing the Waters"]
sleepdebtfairy keeps making addictive icons lately. Yum. ^^
Mona, here's the fic I promised you quite a while ago now. No description before the cut, due to spoilerage past chapter 101 or so of Fruits Basket. Oh, and ch. 97, naturally. Sorry it took so long to get to posting it--I was slow in getting it proofed, and then my net access has been wonky lately. Blah.
No title yet, and it's going out anywhere but here until it gets around to telling me its name. >.< But it seems only fair to put it up here in the meantime.
fic in response to request for "Gure/AKKI LOVE WITH KURENO ON THE SIDE!!!" It didn't quite wind up going that way, though . . . it never settled enough in my head, so I think I'll have to try exploring that again some other time. Or maybe it did go that way . . . I can't tell.
********
“Get. Out.” The ice in Akito's voice made Kureno's heart skip, even though she wasn't speaking to him, and had probably forgotten entirely that he was in the room. Akito in a cold rage had a very narrow focus, and for once Kureno was wholeheartedly glad he no longer shared the supernatural bond that linked her to the object of her anger.
Shigure, on the other hand, looked supremely unconcerned. “If that's what you want, Akito.”
Something passed between them, something Kureno might have been able to feel even from a distance, years before, and Akito's eyes softened for just an instant before she turned away. No matter how she stormed about Shigure's casual attitude toward her, it was one of the things that drew her to him. Even now. “Get out, Shigure. I don't want to see you.”
“Where should I go?” he replied agreeably. They might have been determining a time to meet for dessert.
“I want you out of the Main House.”
For the first time, Shigure reacted; more, he stopped pretending Kureno wasn't in the room. Their eyes met, and Kureno saw real shock in the older man's gaze.
Banishment.
And then Shigure's eyes hardened, turned as opaque and merciless as Akito's sometimes did. “As you wish, Akito-san.”
“There's a house no one's using on the south edge of the property.”
“I know it.”
“You're entitled to your allowance, and you have your word-games. You'll be fine.” Her voice was perfectly steady; any real anger toward the older Jyuunishi had been cool and distant since Hatori's injury. Ayame--the only one to comment on it--felt that the change was positive. Kureno wasn't so sure.
“Must I live alone?” Shigure asked. “Without the daily pleasure of your company, I might be terribly bored.”
Akito still wasn't looking at either of them. Kureno wondered if she was aware of the intensity Shigure was directing at her back.
“Do as you please,” she retorted, and the edge of spite in her voice belonged to a hurt girl, not an outraged god. “You will anyway.”
“I don't go against your will, Akito-san.”
She rounded on him in an instant. “You don't disobey direct orders!” A spark of the old fury was there, and Kureno found himself giving thanks that her hands were empty. Her fingers were twitching as if trying to grasp the air. “Take anyone who will go with you! Anyone but her! And GET OUT!”
“All right.” Shigure slowly stood, and shot a look of calm malice in Kureno's direction. He started toward the door as he spoke, deliberately turning his back on her. “Let me know when I'm welcome back in your presence.”
He left without a backward glance.
As the door slid closed Akito turned to Kureno and stumbled blindly into his arms.
***
A day later, the coldness had melted out of her anger. A maid came to find him, cradling a bruised arm. “Akito-san . . . Akito-san is . . . ” Kureno didn't wait to hear the rest.
He found her surrounded by shattered pottery and a wrath that flooded the room. Ghosts of the bond muttered about the force of it shredding the air around him, hissed that it wasn't safe to approach her. Possessions held no value compared to releasing the gale of emotion twisting her.
Kureno remembered being a possession, as he picked his way through the sharp fragments littering the floor, and took her by the arms. “What happened?”
“Shigure.” The venom in the word took him aback.
“Akito, you've already punished him--”
“He's taken Yuki!” She didn't quite scream the words, didn't break the lifelong habit of locking her voice down into her chest, of keeping it from soaring to unmistakably feminine heights. Real madness blazed out of her eyes, but that single last control stayed in place.
Pieces fell together in his mind in a moment--compared to some of the family's internal politics, Shigure's parting blow was crystal clear. Yuki would have gone with him without hesitation; no bond would be able to hold back a boy showed a first glimpse of freedom from Akito's stranglehold on him.
“It doesn't matter,” he said, and Akito swayed against him, what little color she had rushing out of her face. Her hands went to her mouth, as if biting down on her own flesh would distract her from the loss.
Kureno caught the tiny hands in his. “Akito.”
“Yuki. He's taking Yuki.” He could hardly hear her. “I'll lose him.”
“You can stop him.”
It was true, and the goddess in his arms knew it. Knew the consequences. “And give him another weapon against me?” The pure bitterness in her voice made him wince, stroke her hair.
“He loves you, Akito.”
“He's mine,” she whispered. Kureno wondered if she meant Shigure or Yuki, but didn't dare hurt her further by saying their names.
***
“How can you do this, 'niisan?”
Shigure didn't even glance up from the stacks of boxes and books waiting to be put in them. “Akito-san said I could take someone with me.”
“Yuki is needed here.”
“So he can rot in a room and be brought out whenever Akito wants to be comforted by his presence?”
“And suddenly you care so much about his plight?”
“I never thought keeping him in there was a good idea, but you know Akito-san.”
“But now it's useful to pretend to care?”
Shigure's hands stilled, and then resumed packing. “I care. He's my cousin.”
“He's a tool for you to hurt Akito,” Kureno whispered.
“It would be more accurate if you said someone else is using me.”
Kureno stiffened. “You can not be acting as Ren's hands! Flirting with her is bad enough, but she--”
“Ren still has her own power,” Shigure said mildly. “But I know her too well for her to use me.”
“Then who . . ?”
“Ha-kun, actually. Work it out. Run and tell Akito, if you think he'll be an adequate substitute for Yuki-kun.”
“Akito has me.”
A strange blankness settled on Shigure's face. “You. Yes, well . . . you're not always what's needed, are you?” A smiled twisted his mouth. “You'd do well to remember that no one of us is enough. And the children can't resist Akito the way we can. They can't remember a life out of god's shadow.” He stood up and stretched, and Kureno blinked, finally registering what he was wearing.
“Surely you've seen a kimono before?” Shigure asked. “Here I thought you were from a traditional family, Sohma-san.” The mockery held edges that made Kureno bristle.
“I didn't think it was your style, 'niisan.”
“Styles change. People get bored. Even Akito-san gets bored.” He looked at the remaining heaps of books. “For example, I'm bored with packing now. Thank heaven for maids, that's what I say. If Yuki-kun's packed, I think we'll get going.”
“Why do you keep wanting to hurt Akito?”
“I'm just learning from Akito-san's example,” Shigure replied, his eyebrows flying up in mock surprise. “You hurt the ones you love. You lock them up so they'll never leave you. Or you walk through the doors they throw open for you.”
“Are you expecting me to mention Hatsuharu?”
“You don't have a choice if you're asked, do you?” The rhetorical question was accompanied by a sharp glance.
“Do you want me to mention him?”
Shigure shrugged and said nothing.
***
Sitting at Akito's side again, he knew the moment Shigure and Yuki left the House. Saw the impact run through her slight frame, as if the door was closing on her.
“They love you.”
Silence met the words.
“I love you.” He put his hand over hers, and her fingers curled slightly, as if she was afraid to hold on. “Akito. You can feel them. They're with you.” She turned and looked at him, and for a moment he wondered if she saw him at all through the unfamiliar stretching of the bond. Then her fingers tightened around his, cautiously.
“Don't leave me,” she whispered.
“I won't. You know I won't, Akito.”
“I can't feel you.” Her hand twitched, and he gripped it.
“You can.” He pulled her closer and kissed her cheek; she turned awkwardly and met his lips with hers.
“Only your skin,” she said after a moment, and Kureno bowed his head.
“Do you remember me?” he asked softly.
“Of course!” Her head snapped up, a trace of outrage bringing her eyes to life.
“Then you still know what my soul feels like. And it's under my skin, even if you can't see it.”
Pale fingers brushed against his cheek. “Do you remember being with me?”
“I remember it all.” Flight. The wind. The jesses around his soul that ended in her hands. Her hands on his face, trying to hold him close.
***
Shigure walked up the stairs, taking mental note of which ones creaked under his weight and hoping the sound wouldn't wake Yuki. His cousin had gone to bed almost immediately, still looking more shell-shocked than liberated.
He found Yuki's bedroom door half-open, and wondered how long it would be before the boy deliberately closed himself into a room. Yuki was curled up on the bed, sleeping restlessly. From the way he twitched, Shigure guessed that his sleep was no more comfortable than his own restlessness.
He made his way back down the stairs without interrupting Yuki's sleep, and went outside to look up at the stars. “Akito,” he whispered, and tried not to imagine her with Kureno at her side.
********
fin
Akito is still very hard for me to write, and I'm not quite confident in the voicing in general in this. (For that matter, the voicing on the "calcium" kiss feels weird to me, and that's a bit disconcerting, since usually I'm on good speaking terms with Rin and Haru. That one's almost done. Not sure if I'll be happy with it.)
Mona, here's the fic I promised you quite a while ago now. No description before the cut, due to spoilerage past chapter 101 or so of Fruits Basket. Oh, and ch. 97, naturally. Sorry it took so long to get to posting it--I was slow in getting it proofed, and then my net access has been wonky lately. Blah.
No title yet, and it's going out anywhere but here until it gets around to telling me its name. >.< But it seems only fair to put it up here in the meantime.
fic in response to request for "Gure/AKKI LOVE WITH KURENO ON THE SIDE!!!" It didn't quite wind up going that way, though . . . it never settled enough in my head, so I think I'll have to try exploring that again some other time. Or maybe it did go that way . . . I can't tell.
********
“Get. Out.” The ice in Akito's voice made Kureno's heart skip, even though she wasn't speaking to him, and had probably forgotten entirely that he was in the room. Akito in a cold rage had a very narrow focus, and for once Kureno was wholeheartedly glad he no longer shared the supernatural bond that linked her to the object of her anger.
Shigure, on the other hand, looked supremely unconcerned. “If that's what you want, Akito.”
Something passed between them, something Kureno might have been able to feel even from a distance, years before, and Akito's eyes softened for just an instant before she turned away. No matter how she stormed about Shigure's casual attitude toward her, it was one of the things that drew her to him. Even now. “Get out, Shigure. I don't want to see you.”
“Where should I go?” he replied agreeably. They might have been determining a time to meet for dessert.
“I want you out of the Main House.”
For the first time, Shigure reacted; more, he stopped pretending Kureno wasn't in the room. Their eyes met, and Kureno saw real shock in the older man's gaze.
Banishment.
And then Shigure's eyes hardened, turned as opaque and merciless as Akito's sometimes did. “As you wish, Akito-san.”
“There's a house no one's using on the south edge of the property.”
“I know it.”
“You're entitled to your allowance, and you have your word-games. You'll be fine.” Her voice was perfectly steady; any real anger toward the older Jyuunishi had been cool and distant since Hatori's injury. Ayame--the only one to comment on it--felt that the change was positive. Kureno wasn't so sure.
“Must I live alone?” Shigure asked. “Without the daily pleasure of your company, I might be terribly bored.”
Akito still wasn't looking at either of them. Kureno wondered if she was aware of the intensity Shigure was directing at her back.
“Do as you please,” she retorted, and the edge of spite in her voice belonged to a hurt girl, not an outraged god. “You will anyway.”
“I don't go against your will, Akito-san.”
She rounded on him in an instant. “You don't disobey direct orders!” A spark of the old fury was there, and Kureno found himself giving thanks that her hands were empty. Her fingers were twitching as if trying to grasp the air. “Take anyone who will go with you! Anyone but her! And GET OUT!”
“All right.” Shigure slowly stood, and shot a look of calm malice in Kureno's direction. He started toward the door as he spoke, deliberately turning his back on her. “Let me know when I'm welcome back in your presence.”
He left without a backward glance.
As the door slid closed Akito turned to Kureno and stumbled blindly into his arms.
***
A day later, the coldness had melted out of her anger. A maid came to find him, cradling a bruised arm. “Akito-san . . . Akito-san is . . . ” Kureno didn't wait to hear the rest.
He found her surrounded by shattered pottery and a wrath that flooded the room. Ghosts of the bond muttered about the force of it shredding the air around him, hissed that it wasn't safe to approach her. Possessions held no value compared to releasing the gale of emotion twisting her.
Kureno remembered being a possession, as he picked his way through the sharp fragments littering the floor, and took her by the arms. “What happened?”
“Shigure.” The venom in the word took him aback.
“Akito, you've already punished him--”
“He's taken Yuki!” She didn't quite scream the words, didn't break the lifelong habit of locking her voice down into her chest, of keeping it from soaring to unmistakably feminine heights. Real madness blazed out of her eyes, but that single last control stayed in place.
Pieces fell together in his mind in a moment--compared to some of the family's internal politics, Shigure's parting blow was crystal clear. Yuki would have gone with him without hesitation; no bond would be able to hold back a boy showed a first glimpse of freedom from Akito's stranglehold on him.
“It doesn't matter,” he said, and Akito swayed against him, what little color she had rushing out of her face. Her hands went to her mouth, as if biting down on her own flesh would distract her from the loss.
Kureno caught the tiny hands in his. “Akito.”
“Yuki. He's taking Yuki.” He could hardly hear her. “I'll lose him.”
“You can stop him.”
It was true, and the goddess in his arms knew it. Knew the consequences. “And give him another weapon against me?” The pure bitterness in her voice made him wince, stroke her hair.
“He loves you, Akito.”
“He's mine,” she whispered. Kureno wondered if she meant Shigure or Yuki, but didn't dare hurt her further by saying their names.
***
“How can you do this, 'niisan?”
Shigure didn't even glance up from the stacks of boxes and books waiting to be put in them. “Akito-san said I could take someone with me.”
“Yuki is needed here.”
“So he can rot in a room and be brought out whenever Akito wants to be comforted by his presence?”
“And suddenly you care so much about his plight?”
“I never thought keeping him in there was a good idea, but you know Akito-san.”
“But now it's useful to pretend to care?”
Shigure's hands stilled, and then resumed packing. “I care. He's my cousin.”
“He's a tool for you to hurt Akito,” Kureno whispered.
“It would be more accurate if you said someone else is using me.”
Kureno stiffened. “You can not be acting as Ren's hands! Flirting with her is bad enough, but she--”
“Ren still has her own power,” Shigure said mildly. “But I know her too well for her to use me.”
“Then who . . ?”
“Ha-kun, actually. Work it out. Run and tell Akito, if you think he'll be an adequate substitute for Yuki-kun.”
“Akito has me.”
A strange blankness settled on Shigure's face. “You. Yes, well . . . you're not always what's needed, are you?” A smiled twisted his mouth. “You'd do well to remember that no one of us is enough. And the children can't resist Akito the way we can. They can't remember a life out of god's shadow.” He stood up and stretched, and Kureno blinked, finally registering what he was wearing.
“Surely you've seen a kimono before?” Shigure asked. “Here I thought you were from a traditional family, Sohma-san.” The mockery held edges that made Kureno bristle.
“I didn't think it was your style, 'niisan.”
“Styles change. People get bored. Even Akito-san gets bored.” He looked at the remaining heaps of books. “For example, I'm bored with packing now. Thank heaven for maids, that's what I say. If Yuki-kun's packed, I think we'll get going.”
“Why do you keep wanting to hurt Akito?”
“I'm just learning from Akito-san's example,” Shigure replied, his eyebrows flying up in mock surprise. “You hurt the ones you love. You lock them up so they'll never leave you. Or you walk through the doors they throw open for you.”
“Are you expecting me to mention Hatsuharu?”
“You don't have a choice if you're asked, do you?” The rhetorical question was accompanied by a sharp glance.
“Do you want me to mention him?”
Shigure shrugged and said nothing.
***
Sitting at Akito's side again, he knew the moment Shigure and Yuki left the House. Saw the impact run through her slight frame, as if the door was closing on her.
“They love you.”
Silence met the words.
“I love you.” He put his hand over hers, and her fingers curled slightly, as if she was afraid to hold on. “Akito. You can feel them. They're with you.” She turned and looked at him, and for a moment he wondered if she saw him at all through the unfamiliar stretching of the bond. Then her fingers tightened around his, cautiously.
“Don't leave me,” she whispered.
“I won't. You know I won't, Akito.”
“I can't feel you.” Her hand twitched, and he gripped it.
“You can.” He pulled her closer and kissed her cheek; she turned awkwardly and met his lips with hers.
“Only your skin,” she said after a moment, and Kureno bowed his head.
“Do you remember me?” he asked softly.
“Of course!” Her head snapped up, a trace of outrage bringing her eyes to life.
“Then you still know what my soul feels like. And it's under my skin, even if you can't see it.”
Pale fingers brushed against his cheek. “Do you remember being with me?”
“I remember it all.” Flight. The wind. The jesses around his soul that ended in her hands. Her hands on his face, trying to hold him close.
***
Shigure walked up the stairs, taking mental note of which ones creaked under his weight and hoping the sound wouldn't wake Yuki. His cousin had gone to bed almost immediately, still looking more shell-shocked than liberated.
He found Yuki's bedroom door half-open, and wondered how long it would be before the boy deliberately closed himself into a room. Yuki was curled up on the bed, sleeping restlessly. From the way he twitched, Shigure guessed that his sleep was no more comfortable than his own restlessness.
He made his way back down the stairs without interrupting Yuki's sleep, and went outside to look up at the stars. “Akito,” he whispered, and tried not to imagine her with Kureno at her side.
********
fin
Akito is still very hard for me to write, and I'm not quite confident in the voicing in general in this. (For that matter, the voicing on the "calcium" kiss feels weird to me, and that's a bit disconcerting, since usually I'm on good speaking terms with Rin and Haru. That one's almost done. Not sure if I'll be happy with it.)