Always Keep the Faith
Author: Uma_fics
Title: Always Keep the Faith
Rating: G
Pairing: Broken!YunJae, JaeChun
Genre: Angst
Summary: JaeJoong is having trouble keeping the faith.
“I can’t keep the faith anymore.”
A distant, soft piano melody drifted peacefully down the unlit hallway. Warm beams of sunlight shone against deep beige walls from the many tall windows of the office building. The low rumble of a plane overhead drew the young singers attention to the brilliant reds and oranges of the sunset outside. He paused, resting his palms on the cold metal of the window, watching the traffic below, contemplating.
It had been six months since Junsu had left them. Six long, painful months. Yoochun could hardly blame him, though he couldn’t deny his slight frustration with the suddenness of his resignation. He had been offered a contract with an American music theatre company. The company had had representatives at the ‘Mozart’ performance that Junsu participated in and they were so impressed with his talent that they offered to pay their current label to allow him early leave on his current contract. It was an opportunity that Yoochun knew Junsu couldn’t refuse. It was his dream - and he had to chase it - even if that meant crushing the dreams that the three had once shared together.
In the first month, Junsu contacted them regularly, chattering excitedly about his meeting many of his idolized theatre actors and actresses. He told them of his new home, new friends, and this new found “freeness”. Perhaps it was this “freeness”, or maybe it was just his new surroundings, but somehow Junsu had felt compelled to publically announce that he was gay.
His coming out was a hard blow to JaeJoong. Throughout the years of them being a group, JaeJoong constantly struggled with his own sexuality, feeling insecure about how he felt. Junsu had never told any of them about his own sexuality. Even when JaeJoong came to them, feeling so disgusting, so wrong, Junsu had not uttered a single word of encouragement. It was around that time that JaeJoong began to lose his spirit. Junsu started to call less and less, until eventually, he ceased all contact completely. Just as Yunho and Changmin had.
Three months after Junsu’s departure, Yunho and Changmin announced the disbandment of the duo TVXQ. They’d had the nerve to call them, after everything they’d done. They met for dinner one evening to catch up. It had been nearly five years since they had spoken together. Yoochun would never be able to drive the image of JaeJoong’s face when Yunho announced that he was engaged out of his memory. The shock and hurt that washed over JaeJoong was so completely evident, but if Yunho noticed, he did not acknowledge it. Yoochun knew of the relationship that Yunho and JaeJoong had shared when they were still five. Nights of experimentation, late talks, and stolen kisses. JaeJoong had given his heart to Yunho, and Yunho had taken it gladly. He just neglected to cherish it. And Yoochun truly felt that anyone that was lucky enough to be given JaeJoong’s heart, be it a man or a woman, should cherish every moment that they had with him. But Yunho didn’t see it that way.
The once lively, warm hearted Kim JaeJoong that Yoochun loved so dearly had died that day. Even regular visits from their former bandmates acheived no response from him. Except the few times that Yunho’s fiance visited. She was beautiful. A thin, well groomed woman with a small face and long, jet black hair. Her heart somehow reminded Yoochun of JaeJoong, though, and he couldn’t help but wonder..
JaeJoong would sit with them whenever she visited, staring at Yunho. His blank eyes seemed to be searching for something those evenings, not breaking from Yunho for hours. As if he was trying to figure him out. Usually, though, when she was not present, he would retire to his room complaining of a sick stomach.
Despite the events that surrounded them, Yoochun and JaeJoong continued their work as a duo. Their name was ‘Soulmate’. Cassiopeia may have been their only strength. They continued to keep the phrase “Always Keep the Faith” close to their hearts. Even with circumstances that almost guaranteed that the five of them would never stand on stage together again, they held on to the faith that JaeJoong himself had given them.
That very faith that JaeJoong was losing. His test message had alarmed Yoochun, though he really shouldn’t have been surprised. JaeJoong spent more time composing than crying as of late. And Yoochun knew JaeJoong well enough to know that the moment he stopped crying was the moment that he stopped feeling. And the moment that JaeJoong stopped feeling could be a very frightening thing. Yoochun found himself up many late nights just watching his best friend, concerned that if he turned away even for a moment, that his best friend would disappear into the darkness.
The last time that JaeJoong’s tears ran dry was the time that they almost lost him. Yoochun shivered at the memory, gazing directly into the reds of the clouds, wondering why any of this had to happen to them. He heaved a heavy sigh, lowering his head as he recalled the day he entered JaeJoong’s apartment to empty liquor bottles and an empty prescription bottle. Closing his eyes, Yoochun shook his head. No, that would never happen again. He’d promised JaeJoong that he would never have to feel that alone ever again.
The gentle music stopped.
Yoochun turned, the silence deafening. Sounds of car tires moving against pavement, and engines humming was all that he could hear. He hurried to the piano room, knowing that JaeJoong was there. He always came here when he was upset. It was the one place that guaranteed him complete solitude and the ability to be alone with his thoughts.
Placing a pale hand on the doorknob, he began to turn it. He stopped abruptly as a new melody filled his ears. W. And then,
We think of you everytime we close our eyes
You’re everything
Even now, it’s still natural for you to be with us
Now we just wish that you’re happy and
We’ll climb our stairs one at a time
JaeJoongs flawless vocals were interuppted by heavy sobs, but the melody did not stop. JaeJoong had written this song for so many people. For Yunho and Changmin, and for Cassiopeia, and for the five members of TVXQ. These were the things that JaeJoong loved more than his own being. And to lose any of them was like losing a part of his soul. Yoochun opened the door as incoherent shouting filled his ears,
We want to see you... we want to see you... we want to see you... I want to see you...
“Jae..” Yoochun moved towards him slowly, not wanting to startle the other. Three empty soju bottles lay beside the dark piano bench. JaeJoong sat, staring ahead of him, his fingers moving gracefully across the keyboard. He did not stop playing as Yoochun took a seat beside him, joining JaeJoongs melody in a higher octave. Silently, they sat without speaking, keeping the melody alive.
As the song ended, JaeJoong hit the keyboard with his hand, the awful sound making Yoochun wince. He watched as JaeJoong clenched his jaw, trying to hold back the tears threatening to escape. Yoochun needed him to cry. He needed him to feel again. Even if it was painful, he needed JaeJoong back.
Red eyes met his own, the pain etched on JaeJoong’s face brought tears to Yoochun’s own eyes. The lump in his throat growing as JaeJoong mumbled, “I can’t keep the faith anymore, Yoochun.”
Before he realized what he was doing, Yoochun found himself cupping JaeJoong’s face in his hands. His body was acting on its own, he wasn’t even completely sure on his own feelings as his lips connected with JaeJoong’s. JaeJoong practically melted into the warm touch of his friend, he did not protest, nor did he pull away. Yoochun’s eyes widened as JaeJoong’s arms slowly wrapped themselves around him. JaeJoong broke their kiss, closing the space between their bodies, heavy sobs wracking his body, “I can’t lose you too.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Yoochun held him tighter, “We’re soulmates, remember? I will never, ever leave you.”
“Junsu said that too,” JaeJoong sobbed, “They all said that. Why us, Yoochun?”
“Always Keep the Faith, JaeJoongie,” Yoochun smiled, looking into JaeJoong’s eyes again, hand slowly brushing away the tears from his cheeks, “Junsu called. Junnie’s coming back.”
JaeJoong cried harder, clinging onto Yoochun tighter as Yoochun continued to speak, rubbing JaeJoong’s back gently, “He said that no amount of fame could compare to the love of his family. He was talking about us, JaeJoong-ah.”
The faith that JaeJoong had lost, was held true by Cassiopeia. They kept the faith when JaeJoong himself was unable to find the strength to. Their faith brought him back, and their faith would soon bring the five of them together against all odds.
Always Keep the Faith.
Title: Always Keep the Faith
Rating: G
Pairing: Broken!YunJae, JaeChun
Genre: Angst
Summary: JaeJoong is having trouble keeping the faith.
“I can’t keep the faith anymore.”
A distant, soft piano melody drifted peacefully down the unlit hallway. Warm beams of sunlight shone against deep beige walls from the many tall windows of the office building. The low rumble of a plane overhead drew the young singers attention to the brilliant reds and oranges of the sunset outside. He paused, resting his palms on the cold metal of the window, watching the traffic below, contemplating.
It had been six months since Junsu had left them. Six long, painful months. Yoochun could hardly blame him, though he couldn’t deny his slight frustration with the suddenness of his resignation. He had been offered a contract with an American music theatre company. The company had had representatives at the ‘Mozart’ performance that Junsu participated in and they were so impressed with his talent that they offered to pay their current label to allow him early leave on his current contract. It was an opportunity that Yoochun knew Junsu couldn’t refuse. It was his dream - and he had to chase it - even if that meant crushing the dreams that the three had once shared together.
In the first month, Junsu contacted them regularly, chattering excitedly about his meeting many of his idolized theatre actors and actresses. He told them of his new home, new friends, and this new found “freeness”. Perhaps it was this “freeness”, or maybe it was just his new surroundings, but somehow Junsu had felt compelled to publically announce that he was gay.
His coming out was a hard blow to JaeJoong. Throughout the years of them being a group, JaeJoong constantly struggled with his own sexuality, feeling insecure about how he felt. Junsu had never told any of them about his own sexuality. Even when JaeJoong came to them, feeling so disgusting, so wrong, Junsu had not uttered a single word of encouragement. It was around that time that JaeJoong began to lose his spirit. Junsu started to call less and less, until eventually, he ceased all contact completely. Just as Yunho and Changmin had.
Three months after Junsu’s departure, Yunho and Changmin announced the disbandment of the duo TVXQ. They’d had the nerve to call them, after everything they’d done. They met for dinner one evening to catch up. It had been nearly five years since they had spoken together. Yoochun would never be able to drive the image of JaeJoong’s face when Yunho announced that he was engaged out of his memory. The shock and hurt that washed over JaeJoong was so completely evident, but if Yunho noticed, he did not acknowledge it. Yoochun knew of the relationship that Yunho and JaeJoong had shared when they were still five. Nights of experimentation, late talks, and stolen kisses. JaeJoong had given his heart to Yunho, and Yunho had taken it gladly. He just neglected to cherish it. And Yoochun truly felt that anyone that was lucky enough to be given JaeJoong’s heart, be it a man or a woman, should cherish every moment that they had with him. But Yunho didn’t see it that way.
The once lively, warm hearted Kim JaeJoong that Yoochun loved so dearly had died that day. Even regular visits from their former bandmates acheived no response from him. Except the few times that Yunho’s fiance visited. She was beautiful. A thin, well groomed woman with a small face and long, jet black hair. Her heart somehow reminded Yoochun of JaeJoong, though, and he couldn’t help but wonder..
JaeJoong would sit with them whenever she visited, staring at Yunho. His blank eyes seemed to be searching for something those evenings, not breaking from Yunho for hours. As if he was trying to figure him out. Usually, though, when she was not present, he would retire to his room complaining of a sick stomach.
Despite the events that surrounded them, Yoochun and JaeJoong continued their work as a duo. Their name was ‘Soulmate’. Cassiopeia may have been their only strength. They continued to keep the phrase “Always Keep the Faith” close to their hearts. Even with circumstances that almost guaranteed that the five of them would never stand on stage together again, they held on to the faith that JaeJoong himself had given them.
That very faith that JaeJoong was losing. His test message had alarmed Yoochun, though he really shouldn’t have been surprised. JaeJoong spent more time composing than crying as of late. And Yoochun knew JaeJoong well enough to know that the moment he stopped crying was the moment that he stopped feeling. And the moment that JaeJoong stopped feeling could be a very frightening thing. Yoochun found himself up many late nights just watching his best friend, concerned that if he turned away even for a moment, that his best friend would disappear into the darkness.
The last time that JaeJoong’s tears ran dry was the time that they almost lost him. Yoochun shivered at the memory, gazing directly into the reds of the clouds, wondering why any of this had to happen to them. He heaved a heavy sigh, lowering his head as he recalled the day he entered JaeJoong’s apartment to empty liquor bottles and an empty prescription bottle. Closing his eyes, Yoochun shook his head. No, that would never happen again. He’d promised JaeJoong that he would never have to feel that alone ever again.
The gentle music stopped.
Yoochun turned, the silence deafening. Sounds of car tires moving against pavement, and engines humming was all that he could hear. He hurried to the piano room, knowing that JaeJoong was there. He always came here when he was upset. It was the one place that guaranteed him complete solitude and the ability to be alone with his thoughts.
Placing a pale hand on the doorknob, he began to turn it. He stopped abruptly as a new melody filled his ears. W. And then,
We think of you everytime we close our eyes
You’re everything
Even now, it’s still natural for you to be with us
Now we just wish that you’re happy and
We’ll climb our stairs one at a time
JaeJoongs flawless vocals were interuppted by heavy sobs, but the melody did not stop. JaeJoong had written this song for so many people. For Yunho and Changmin, and for Cassiopeia, and for the five members of TVXQ. These were the things that JaeJoong loved more than his own being. And to lose any of them was like losing a part of his soul. Yoochun opened the door as incoherent shouting filled his ears,
We want to see you... we want to see you... we want to see you... I want to see you...
“Jae..” Yoochun moved towards him slowly, not wanting to startle the other. Three empty soju bottles lay beside the dark piano bench. JaeJoong sat, staring ahead of him, his fingers moving gracefully across the keyboard. He did not stop playing as Yoochun took a seat beside him, joining JaeJoongs melody in a higher octave. Silently, they sat without speaking, keeping the melody alive.
As the song ended, JaeJoong hit the keyboard with his hand, the awful sound making Yoochun wince. He watched as JaeJoong clenched his jaw, trying to hold back the tears threatening to escape. Yoochun needed him to cry. He needed him to feel again. Even if it was painful, he needed JaeJoong back.
Red eyes met his own, the pain etched on JaeJoong’s face brought tears to Yoochun’s own eyes. The lump in his throat growing as JaeJoong mumbled, “I can’t keep the faith anymore, Yoochun.”
Before he realized what he was doing, Yoochun found himself cupping JaeJoong’s face in his hands. His body was acting on its own, he wasn’t even completely sure on his own feelings as his lips connected with JaeJoong’s. JaeJoong practically melted into the warm touch of his friend, he did not protest, nor did he pull away. Yoochun’s eyes widened as JaeJoong’s arms slowly wrapped themselves around him. JaeJoong broke their kiss, closing the space between their bodies, heavy sobs wracking his body, “I can’t lose you too.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Yoochun held him tighter, “We’re soulmates, remember? I will never, ever leave you.”
“Junsu said that too,” JaeJoong sobbed, “They all said that. Why us, Yoochun?”
“Always Keep the Faith, JaeJoongie,” Yoochun smiled, looking into JaeJoong’s eyes again, hand slowly brushing away the tears from his cheeks, “Junsu called. Junnie’s coming back.”
JaeJoong cried harder, clinging onto Yoochun tighter as Yoochun continued to speak, rubbing JaeJoong’s back gently, “He said that no amount of fame could compare to the love of his family. He was talking about us, JaeJoong-ah.”
The faith that JaeJoong had lost, was held true by Cassiopeia. They kept the faith when JaeJoong himself was unable to find the strength to. Their faith brought him back, and their faith would soon bring the five of them together against all odds.
Always Keep the Faith.