(no subject)
brrr... it's cold this morning... it's 6.40 am and the only reason i'm out of bed is because i had to take Chrissy to work and getting back into bed never seems worthwhile when i'll only have to get out again in like an hour. I have to work today and i really don't feel like it.
Good god, i can't wait until this semester is over... only another 2 weeks to go. I'm really tired of this course and this institution. More and more it just seems like a waste of my time and money and i don't ever recall being more stressed, poor and out of time than i have been while studying this course. It's not what i was lead to believe it to be at all. In the semester break i'm going to try and transfer to another university and if that fails... i dunno... i'll have to seriously look at dropping out as an alternative. The way i look at university is: it's a trade off... you live three years of your life in abject poverty in return for an intellectual pay off in the present and hopefully a financial pay off in the future. Since i'm definitely not getting the intellectual rewards i was hoping for and i'm looking at those future financial rewards with increasing doubt i'm wondering what the point of it all is. Add to that the increasing number of crap teaching staff that i'm encountering and the equation isn't looking all that favourable for my university. My current teacher for Digital Composition is a case in point. I previously studied at a different university where i encountered a large number of people in the teaching staff of my school who were academics and not teachers. Now... if you haven't been to university you probably won't understand the difference here but i'll try to explain it briefly... a teacher is someone who is genuinely interested in your academic advancement and will give you as much as you give them. An academic is purely on the payroll at any given university in order to further their own intellectual pursuits and is usually only interested thus... not with the petty issues of the student body. To put it more bluntly... she's a bitch. When we approached her with our first issue of not being able to find any current research material on a given topic her argument waas that, and i quote, "over the years, i've managed to compile quite a bit of research on the topic." Lady... you might've had years... we've had a little over a week. She looked on that argument with unsympathetic eyes. She never returns emails when other members of the teaching staff... even ones whose classes i'm not taking this semester, find the time to respond swiftly. Most recently i emailed her with a problem for our last group work assessment piece. Our group had disintegrated and we'd had to reform with a group of 4 instead of 7. The workload for 7 people is heavy so you can imagine that it would be almost unmanagable for 4 people... we found this out 2 weeks before the assignment was due while other groups had had 4 weeks yet her response was to give us a further 2 days to complete the assignment. 'Cos... y'know... 2 days will be enough. I just find myself at this point in time with no motivation... no desire... and little to no inclination to give a fuck about any of this uni shit. I mean... don't get me wrong... i want more than anything to work in this industry... but this course is just hell and i have nothing left to give it.
This week i turned 26... yet another moderate source of depression. Chrissy helped to make it a good day for me... i don't really know what i'd do without her... she took me and Dave shopping and hung out with us all day while we had our 'guy time', arranged for her mum to bake me a Toblerone Cheesecake which fucking rocked, but i still feel really fucking old. The whole university thing isn't really helping in that department... being surrounded by 19 year olds while constantly thinking "what the fuck am i doing here? shouldn't i be out working and earning money and shit...?"
My parents came over for dinner on the wednesday night (my birthday) and watched the footbal that was on TV that night. Chrissy and her mum bought me a Fondue set and Chrissy bought me an awesome Pasta Maker... you make the mix and it makes the shapes for fettucine, spaghetti, and lasagna sheets. Dave got me seaason one of Family Guy and season 2 of the Transformers on DVD and he also gave me his old Brisbane Lions jersey 'cos i wear it heaps anyway. Two of my sisters got me gift vouchers... one for a department store here and one for Amazon.com... probably going to buy a few books...
Things with Chrissy are really cool... but i'm getting impatient to start a life for real, y'know... with our own place and travels and everything that is just ours... i guess in a way that's related to the "getting old" feeling... i know people are going to say "what are you complaining about? you're only 26..." but its just the way i've been feeling... and it isn't really getting any better with age strangely enough. Dave said to me that the downward slide starts at 26... and that it gets worse from when you stopped looking forward to your next birthday... fuck... i stopped doing that a good few years ago... dammit.
anyways... i'll write again later... i'm going to be editing literally all week this week... yay. that waas sarcasm right there...
Good god, i can't wait until this semester is over... only another 2 weeks to go. I'm really tired of this course and this institution. More and more it just seems like a waste of my time and money and i don't ever recall being more stressed, poor and out of time than i have been while studying this course. It's not what i was lead to believe it to be at all. In the semester break i'm going to try and transfer to another university and if that fails... i dunno... i'll have to seriously look at dropping out as an alternative. The way i look at university is: it's a trade off... you live three years of your life in abject poverty in return for an intellectual pay off in the present and hopefully a financial pay off in the future. Since i'm definitely not getting the intellectual rewards i was hoping for and i'm looking at those future financial rewards with increasing doubt i'm wondering what the point of it all is. Add to that the increasing number of crap teaching staff that i'm encountering and the equation isn't looking all that favourable for my university. My current teacher for Digital Composition is a case in point. I previously studied at a different university where i encountered a large number of people in the teaching staff of my school who were academics and not teachers. Now... if you haven't been to university you probably won't understand the difference here but i'll try to explain it briefly... a teacher is someone who is genuinely interested in your academic advancement and will give you as much as you give them. An academic is purely on the payroll at any given university in order to further their own intellectual pursuits and is usually only interested thus... not with the petty issues of the student body. To put it more bluntly... she's a bitch. When we approached her with our first issue of not being able to find any current research material on a given topic her argument waas that, and i quote, "over the years, i've managed to compile quite a bit of research on the topic." Lady... you might've had years... we've had a little over a week. She looked on that argument with unsympathetic eyes. She never returns emails when other members of the teaching staff... even ones whose classes i'm not taking this semester, find the time to respond swiftly. Most recently i emailed her with a problem for our last group work assessment piece. Our group had disintegrated and we'd had to reform with a group of 4 instead of 7. The workload for 7 people is heavy so you can imagine that it would be almost unmanagable for 4 people... we found this out 2 weeks before the assignment was due while other groups had had 4 weeks yet her response was to give us a further 2 days to complete the assignment. 'Cos... y'know... 2 days will be enough. I just find myself at this point in time with no motivation... no desire... and little to no inclination to give a fuck about any of this uni shit. I mean... don't get me wrong... i want more than anything to work in this industry... but this course is just hell and i have nothing left to give it.
This week i turned 26... yet another moderate source of depression. Chrissy helped to make it a good day for me... i don't really know what i'd do without her... she took me and Dave shopping and hung out with us all day while we had our 'guy time', arranged for her mum to bake me a Toblerone Cheesecake which fucking rocked, but i still feel really fucking old. The whole university thing isn't really helping in that department... being surrounded by 19 year olds while constantly thinking "what the fuck am i doing here? shouldn't i be out working and earning money and shit...?"
My parents came over for dinner on the wednesday night (my birthday) and watched the footbal that was on TV that night. Chrissy and her mum bought me a Fondue set and Chrissy bought me an awesome Pasta Maker... you make the mix and it makes the shapes for fettucine, spaghetti, and lasagna sheets. Dave got me seaason one of Family Guy and season 2 of the Transformers on DVD and he also gave me his old Brisbane Lions jersey 'cos i wear it heaps anyway. Two of my sisters got me gift vouchers... one for a department store here and one for Amazon.com... probably going to buy a few books...
Things with Chrissy are really cool... but i'm getting impatient to start a life for real, y'know... with our own place and travels and everything that is just ours... i guess in a way that's related to the "getting old" feeling... i know people are going to say "what are you complaining about? you're only 26..." but its just the way i've been feeling... and it isn't really getting any better with age strangely enough. Dave said to me that the downward slide starts at 26... and that it gets worse from when you stopped looking forward to your next birthday... fuck... i stopped doing that a good few years ago... dammit.
anyways... i'll write again later... i'm going to be editing literally all week this week... yay. that waas sarcasm right there...