(no subject)
This past week has really sucked. Monday night Chrissy and i and my family went to my sister's house for my niece's birthday. Now... lately, my niece has been seeing my ex and talking with her for various reasons... call it a form of counselling and it was important for her that my ex be there on monday night. Now i understand that and can appreciate her need for her to be there... however... it also must be said that Chrissy and i and a few other members of my family were somewhat unhappy... or maybe just a little annoyed that she was there. Don't get me wrong... i don't hold any grudges against my ex... and i'd be quite happy to maintain a friendship with her apart from all the other stuff in my life... but i don't want any ongoing friendship that i have with her to mingle in any way shape or form with any other facet of my life... i don't need that anymore... i don't think that she has a place in family scenarios when i am present with my current partner and i would hope that she could understand that. It's just not something that i want to mix... nor, it has to be said, does Chrissy... Apparently my sister took issue with the way that Chrissy, myself and another one of my sisters conducted ourselves on Monday night. In her opinion, our behaviour was not up to scratch... and believe me when i tell you that i take offence to this. In defence of the second sister... she is who she is and says and thinks what she likes regardless of what other people think and she's never made any excuses for that. I don't think that that is an explanation or an apology... but then again i don't necessarily think that what this situation needs is in fact an apology. And in defence of Chirssy... she was sick on the day to begin with and was understandably not looking forward to the event in the first place. She thought it best to sit back and let Niarrie have some time with my ex seeing as she seems to be helping her with some of her problems. Which i thought was actually quite mature and admirable... but oh, no... my sister has a habit of seeing things the way that she wants to. When i spoke with my sister over the phone (the one who was unhappy) it wasn't particularly a pleasant phone conversation and definitely not one that i'll be wanting to repeat again in a hurry. I won't be rushing into the next conversation with her either for that matter... i think that i'll just let that one sit for a while. Admittedly, we both flew off the handle and just yelled at each other for the most part but i quickly got frustrated with her complete inability to yield in any way, shape or form on her point of view. Her main argument was basically... "well... you guys couldn't put all your shit away for two hours and just play nice for the sake of my daughter." Now don't think for a second that she herself hasn't turned up to a family gathering in a mood because she's got the shits with someone or other or in some cases simply not come at all... but it's a different story when someone else does it... There were a few other issues raised in the argument which i took particular offence to... not the least of which was her none too subtle insinuation that i was doing too many drugs... I can say this honestly... i've taken pills on three occasions... count 'em... three... in the past four years... i can't remember the last time i smoked pot and i very sparingly drink alcohol... when she herself has been partial to the odd recreational substance in her time... and that's putting it in a fairly conservative context. And if she had any idea of the type of drugs that my ex takes and the regularity with which she does so... lets just say that i don't know how confident i'd be in her ability to effectively help my daughter. Her insistence that i'm always... without fail... in a bad, grumpy or unhappy mood when i see her was a little harsh, i thought... and heaven forbid i could convince her that that wasn't the case... no... of course she'd know my emotions better than i do myself... And i might add that i do have a lot of not too great shit on my mind of late so yeah... i'm a little down and depressed... but who the fuck isn't? and how is it that everything is always more important and bigger when it's her shit... when it's on her plate and they're her problems... fuck, i'm sick of that. I'm not saying that my problems are more important or more pressing or bigger than hers... that's all relative... but yeah.... you're damn right my problems are important to me... No offence... but i think that its her that's the one who needs to take a step back and look at how she's handled the situation... i think that it's her who's the one that's gone a little too nuts about the whole thing... Yeah... i'm willing to accept some culpability and say that i could have handled things differently... but then again... i'm willing to admit that...