the ailurophile files
"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you."
- Mary Bly
"A meow massages the heart."
- Stuart McMillan
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."
- Unknown
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
- Mark Twain
"It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it."
- P.J. O'Rourke
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings."
- Oliver Herford
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul
"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties."
- W.L. George
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."
- Nan Porter
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
- Steven Wright
"A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys."
- Barbara Holland
"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance."
- Dan Greenburg
"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer."
- Paula Poundstone
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick
- Albert Schweitzer
"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you."
- Mary Bly
"A meow massages the heart."
- Stuart McMillan
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."
- Unknown
"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
- Mark Twain
"It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it."
- P.J. O'Rourke
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings."
- Oliver Herford
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul
"Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties."
- W.L. George
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't."
- Nan Porter
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
- Steven Wright
"A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys."
- Barbara Holland
"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance."
- Dan Greenburg
"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer."
- Paula Poundstone
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick