Disaster Diaries:
My dad fell again. Which is not unusual, except he'd soiled himself in the process. He says he can't stand and when he falls he can rarely drag himself back up on his wheelchair or wherever he's fallen from, so cleanup is a major operation.
Then my mother fell, in the bathroom, in the middle of shuttling feces-covered towels from linen closet to the washing machine, and it occurred to me then: I am all alone in this, I am surrounded by people who are, at best, no longer able-bodied. If something happens, it's just as probable that it'll happen to both of my parents (and I'm terrified to consider what something would be), and I'm Johnnie-on-the-spot.
This has been the situation for years now, since I moved in, but it's become alive to me tonight. I am spending the latter part of my middle age taking care of my parents (mostly because they were never able to save for retirement) and I'm doing this circus act without a net.
Got two pleasant lesbian EMTs over to at least help me get my mom on her feet and my dad, well, stable. He refused to be carried to the shower to clean off, even though his buttocks were streaked with shit. They still are; this is an issue that I can't help out with without his minimal cooperation, and he demands to be left alone. My mother later told me that he's "half-way to Alzheimers". This is only the beginning.
I used to have friends, watch movies, attend the theater, hang at music clubs. I had at least hope of love. I had a career. Gone, all gone.
I have to get out of here. I don't know how but I do. This is killing me.
Then my mother fell, in the bathroom, in the middle of shuttling feces-covered towels from linen closet to the washing machine, and it occurred to me then: I am all alone in this, I am surrounded by people who are, at best, no longer able-bodied. If something happens, it's just as probable that it'll happen to both of my parents (and I'm terrified to consider what something would be), and I'm Johnnie-on-the-spot.
This has been the situation for years now, since I moved in, but it's become alive to me tonight. I am spending the latter part of my middle age taking care of my parents (mostly because they were never able to save for retirement) and I'm doing this circus act without a net.
Got two pleasant lesbian EMTs over to at least help me get my mom on her feet and my dad, well, stable. He refused to be carried to the shower to clean off, even though his buttocks were streaked with shit. They still are; this is an issue that I can't help out with without his minimal cooperation, and he demands to be left alone. My mother later told me that he's "half-way to Alzheimers". This is only the beginning.
I used to have friends, watch movies, attend the theater, hang at music clubs. I had at least hope of love. I had a career. Gone, all gone.
I have to get out of here. I don't know how but I do. This is killing me.