Fanfiction → What fools are made by mighty love {Thor/Loki}
» Thor will love Loki for as long as the universe exists. This is not a healthy relationship.
» One-shot
» Thor ; Loki ; Hel ; dubious Thor/Loki
» NC-17 for psuedo-incest
» Read on ao3!
» First time writing for the Marvel universe oh hahahoo
Fault with another let no man find
For what touches many a man;
Wise men oft into witless fools
Are made by mighty love.
- The Poetic Edda, Hávamál: The Words of Odin the High One; Verse 94
They find each other in the tempest; Loki clad in full battle armour, tense and poised, Thor suppressing his thunder and lightning as far down as he possibly can to persuade Loki that he means no threat, whilst still keeping his defenses, for he knows deep down that the man he calls brother is more likely to attack him than to embrace him now.
And what brings you here on this fine day?” Loki shouts, “Come to finally beat me into the ground, as is befitting of the hero?”
Thor feels Mjölnir slipping in his grasp and clenches his fist tighter, “No! I come to bring you home, Loki! To Asgard!”
His voice breaks on the word home and he feels his concentration slip, thunder and lightning splitting open the sky.
Loki throws open his arms and laughs into the thunder. “And do you expect me to believe that Asgard would willingly open its gates to the prodigal son? To Loki Laufeyson?”
Thor does not understand the reference but he understands Loki’s bitterness. He tries again, even as he knows his plea will fall on deaf ears.
“Loki, it is not too late! I love you and I forgive you and I will make Asgard forgive you as well. Come home, brother!”
“I am no longer your brother! I have ascended, I have become more than the shadow underneath the great Thor Odinson. I have seen things and possess ancient power far beyond your limited capacity. What need have I of your love? Or your forgiveness?”
The snarl that tears his grin open is horrid and vile, and Thor hopes futilely it is but the bitter rain stinging his eyes that twists his brother’s features, not hatred. For Thor is simple in his wants and desires. All he wants is for Loki to love him the way he still loves Loki.
And something inside him wants to grab Loki by the shoulders, shake him out of this insanity; for he still believes that somehow this nightmare can end and they could go back to how they were, before that fateful, awful day when the Frost Giants attacked. Before this madness that has become his life; fighting the man he now calls both brother and enemy, cursing Laufey, the All-Father, even Loki as well but above all himself, for being an all-powerful, unseeing idiot.
Loki laughs, cold and sharp like ice, and Thor knows he’s taunting him.
You blind fool, the laugh says. You always loved me more than you should have.
And Odin help him, for he still does.
“Brother!” Thor shouts, into the wet, wild storm, “stop this!”
Loki vanishes, and Thor receives only the howling wind as reply.
.
It did not take Loki long to escape from his imprisonment in Asgard, after he had returned with Thor and the Tesseract. Several guards had removed the gag from him, out of respect for their once prince, and that had been their mistake and undoing.
For Loki’s true weapon is not his magic or his mind, but his mouth, his silvertongue, that makes everything possible and brings down chaos and fire, even as he opens his mouth again to laugh.
Thor had always loved Loki’s laugh, but hearing it as he vanished away into realms Thor knew not, twisted by cruel mockery and hate, Thor begins to hate it.
And in doing so, he realises that he is beginning to hate Loki, even a little.
He quashes the thought down into the depths of his mind.
.
Since the day in the tempest, Thor searches for Loki in every realm he knows. He braves the heat of Múspellsheimr, the dark of Svartálfaheimr, even, in a fit of madness, the cold of Jötunheimr. But Loki is nowhere to be found.
But Thor does not give up hope. They each have an eternity to live, and Thor will not spend it without his brother at his side.
He searches on, to Álfheimr to Vanaheimr to Niflheimr and eventually, because he sees no other options, he makes his way to Helheimr, the realm of the dead.
Thor walks as silently as he can manage through Helheimr, fear seeping into his bones and the dark oppressive stench of the place rotting his soul from inside out. He hopes he does not have to stay in this realm for long.
He approaches Éljúðnir, the hall of Hel, and remembers that she is Loki’s daughter. Perhaps the task Thor has set himself upon and the mention of her father will persuade her to be gracious and merciful. Thor is Æsir, but Hel is the ruler of the underworld, and she will take whom she pleases for her subjects.
She hears him coming before Thor even realises his steps are noticeable, and appears in a hazy cloud of thick dark smoke, her flesh rotten and reeking of death.
“Thor Odinson!” she spits, “I did not think you were ready to enter my realm yet.”
“I come not in death but in life, to find the man I call my brother! Your father. Loki.”
Her head twists to the side, almost in curiosity. The expression is not an uncommon one, but Thor cringes at the way her neck bends almost in half, looking as if it might snap at any second.
She snaps her head back up, and Thor jumps back in surprise. She smiles at him, throws back her head and laughs, and Thor realises with a jolt of nausea that her laugh is exactly the same as Loki’s: like ice.
“I know not where my father may be, for he is not in this realm, nor any others of which I have sight. Begone, son of Odin, and do not return unless you wish to become my servant. I will be gracious this day, for you Æsir amuse me, but I will not be so gracious if you cross the threshold of this realm a second time. Begone!”
Thor returns to Asgard as quickly as he can.
.
Asgard is warm and bright but cold without Loki’s presence. Thor stalks the hallways as a dark shadow, and servants and guards scatter when they see him approach. He bursts through the doors to Loki’s old chambers and sits down on the large, low bed, with its silk green coverlet and furs. He grasps a handful of fur in his hand and lets the heavy tears drip down onto the cool stone floor, running down in pathways like snakes towards where a pair of booted feet stand.
Thor jumps to his feet, surprised and ashamed that someone had snuck up on him unawares, caught him showing his emotion like a frail woman.
But it is only his mother, and he sits down again heavily.
Frigga moves to kneel in front of her son, and lifts his chin with a delicate hand. Her grip is strong, even as Thor resists, and soon Thor gives in, letting his mother gaze into the clear wet blue of his eyes. She studies him, not with pity or with disappointment but with sharp concentration.
She moves, as if to speak, but suddenly, with a shimmer of her magic, she disappears.
.
It is only afterward that Thor realises his mother’s magic does not include teleportation.
.
Thor waits for Loki in his chambers. Thor is a fool, but Thor knows Loki visited him that day, and his cryptic presence demands explanation.
Loki appears suddenly in a flash of gold, and before he can disappear again Thor is upon him, grabbing him around the neck and pulling his face close to his own.
“Why?” he shouts, with suppressed rage, “why did you appear here, taking our mother’s form?”
“Your mother-” Loki corrects, but is silenced by Thor throwing him down onto the bed. He struggles to get up, but Thor’s massive weight pins him down.
“No lies, Loki.” Thor’s face is grim. “You will tell me why.”
Loki stares at him for a moment, mind racing, before suddenly his lips are on Thor’s and their bodies are crushed together. Loki bites down on Thor’s lip, drawing blood and Thor groans.
When they pull back, Loki wipes away Thor’s blood from his mouth.
“You searched the nine realms for me.”
“Did you not expect me to?”
“I do not expect you to do anything for me!” Loki hisses, and before he can utter another grotesque word Thor pushes him down again and claims his mouth, kissing deeply. He is acutely aware of Loki struggling underneath him, but Thor is Thor, and Thor will take what he wants, by force if necessary. He knows Loki knows this, for Loki is the same.
He begins to move, grinding his crotch against Loki’s and Loki lets out a muffled moan into Thor’s mouth. Thor moves harder, feeling the friction and the heat between them and crying inside of his mind, for this is not how their love is supposed to be, but it is the only love he and Loki know between them anymore; force and anger and taking whatever it is they want.
Thor pulls back and stands up, turning away from Loki to face the door. He hears Loki shift off the bed, and he turns around to look at his brother just as a hand come whipping across his face.
The slap stings, but the sight of Loki’s eyes brimming with tears, hurts more.
“Never touch me again.”
Loki disappears, and Thor falls back down onto the bed, arms spread out as if waiting, waiting for Loki to reappear and take him in his arms as they used to do as children, hugging through dark nights when one of them had a nightmare.
But Loki does not reappear, and Thor thinks, briefly, that he probably never will again. Not willingly.
I will find you, brother; Thor thinks, and I will bring you home no matter what realm I must enter, no matter what I must take from you in order to make you stay.
You blind fool, Loki laughs, inside his head. You always loved me more than you should have.
Thor lets a single tear slip down his face.