Yay band!
This past week kicked major ass. I'm not even going to go into great details about the events of band camp, mainly because I don't really have any friends outside of band.
I lied.
So we got there on Sunday. I get into a cabin with Ben Carter (ex-SASA kid, so he knows how the Kasten tits are), Justin Shuler (Awesome collection of metal music), Joe _____ (Some freshman who is probably the one I can stand the most), Jeremy (Kudos to the kid who almost got stuck with no major friends besides...) Scott Pearson (Quiet, but otherwise fairly awesome and has one helluva lot of energy drinks/pills/whateverthefuckelsethereis), Dan Fee (Who I used to not really like, but he's actually not that bad of a guy), Scott Lewis (Who, again, spread his suitcase contents all over the floor when looking for something), John Love (Who still smelled bad, and was right over Scott Lewis, so it was the stanky corner of the room), Joey _______ (Some other freshman I really liked being gay with since he's such a homophobe), Jongutz (Crazy legs) and me.
So some crazy things happened. Like John's porn on Monday. The thing I love best is how the news spread around the camp in about half of an hour. I had barely gotten off my bike when someone ran up to me and told me that John had anime porn with ninjas still wearing masks and lesbians suckling each other's nipples. So we duct taped it to that metal pole in the basketbal courts. No, he never found it. Yes, it did get soaked with water. And no, he never got them back.
Then Tuesday came around. Don't remember much about that day. But Wednesday... The beginning of the water balloon wars. It didn't help that we had the pussy balloons that you had to poke with a needle to have it explode (One was thrown several times at the screen without popping). It also didn't help that Poplar had the most fit people that also knew a lot about water wars and actually had decent equipment. They also had a short trip to the bathroom for water and they didn't have to go through an enemy cabin to get to it. So the odds were against us.
What did I do? Don my Seal hat and ran. I didn't get hit for most of it. When I did get hit... Kamikaze time. I went nuts.
Speaking of nuts, on Thursday, good 'ol Poplar decided to have a standoff. They had the 3-person launcher. Pointed at me. I tried moving, but I was in the middle of the line, so I had nowhere to go. So I got hit in the balls. Squarr in the noots. The impact broke a highlighter in my pocket, and actually made my penis pop out of my boxer briefs. It was awesome. But it wasn't. I think the only reason why it wasn't entirely awesome was because it was MY balls. Why not John's? His will never get used on a woman!
So Friday came around. Freshman initiation. I wanted to yell at Jay. I couldn't find him, so I settled with some DL kid instead, who was entirely cool with the whole thing, unlike the other DL kid who threatened to punch me. Kudos to him, whoever he is. Then the bonfire, where Kelan and I snuggled a little while listening to people say how much they love band (And I agree).
So yes, Kelan and I are going out. This time, I will actually go with someone on a date. I promise. As dumb and cliche as it sounds, I really do miss her already. I'll just wait until Tuesday.
Not only that, but I found out that we have a dog. I did not know this. I thought my dad was bullshitting me when he picked me up in a red Chevrolet SSR and told me about it. So I got home, opened the door, and no dog came up to greet me. I smirked in triumph. Until I walked 10 more steps and saw the baby gates, dog dishes and a cage. I felt dumb. Her name is Zowie, a cute little 2-month old chocolate lab who, thankfully, is not an overbred dog.
I also got my '93 Blazer. Yeah, I've been driving around 6 months and this is my 3rd car. I think it's awesome. Not only will I less likely die, but the information center is entirely digital, which looks friggin sweet. It's in awesome condition, and the Beretta will be sold soon.
So the past few days rocked. Although the car and Zowie are pretty sweet, I think being with Kelan is better. And in the words of the great Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
I lied.
So we got there on Sunday. I get into a cabin with Ben Carter (ex-SASA kid, so he knows how the Kasten tits are), Justin Shuler (Awesome collection of metal music), Joe _____ (Some freshman who is probably the one I can stand the most), Jeremy (Kudos to the kid who almost got stuck with no major friends besides...) Scott Pearson (Quiet, but otherwise fairly awesome and has one helluva lot of energy drinks/pills/whateverthefuckelsethereis), Dan Fee (Who I used to not really like, but he's actually not that bad of a guy), Scott Lewis (Who, again, spread his suitcase contents all over the floor when looking for something), John Love (Who still smelled bad, and was right over Scott Lewis, so it was the stanky corner of the room), Joey _______ (Some other freshman I really liked being gay with since he's such a homophobe), Jongutz (Crazy legs) and me.
So some crazy things happened. Like John's porn on Monday. The thing I love best is how the news spread around the camp in about half of an hour. I had barely gotten off my bike when someone ran up to me and told me that John had anime porn with ninjas still wearing masks and lesbians suckling each other's nipples. So we duct taped it to that metal pole in the basketbal courts. No, he never found it. Yes, it did get soaked with water. And no, he never got them back.
Then Tuesday came around. Don't remember much about that day. But Wednesday... The beginning of the water balloon wars. It didn't help that we had the pussy balloons that you had to poke with a needle to have it explode (One was thrown several times at the screen without popping). It also didn't help that Poplar had the most fit people that also knew a lot about water wars and actually had decent equipment. They also had a short trip to the bathroom for water and they didn't have to go through an enemy cabin to get to it. So the odds were against us.
What did I do? Don my Seal hat and ran. I didn't get hit for most of it. When I did get hit... Kamikaze time. I went nuts.
Speaking of nuts, on Thursday, good 'ol Poplar decided to have a standoff. They had the 3-person launcher. Pointed at me. I tried moving, but I was in the middle of the line, so I had nowhere to go. So I got hit in the balls. Squarr in the noots. The impact broke a highlighter in my pocket, and actually made my penis pop out of my boxer briefs. It was awesome. But it wasn't. I think the only reason why it wasn't entirely awesome was because it was MY balls. Why not John's? His will never get used on a woman!
So Friday came around. Freshman initiation. I wanted to yell at Jay. I couldn't find him, so I settled with some DL kid instead, who was entirely cool with the whole thing, unlike the other DL kid who threatened to punch me. Kudos to him, whoever he is. Then the bonfire, where Kelan and I snuggled a little while listening to people say how much they love band (And I agree).
So yes, Kelan and I are going out. This time, I will actually go with someone on a date. I promise. As dumb and cliche as it sounds, I really do miss her already. I'll just wait until Tuesday.
Not only that, but I found out that we have a dog. I did not know this. I thought my dad was bullshitting me when he picked me up in a red Chevrolet SSR and told me about it. So I got home, opened the door, and no dog came up to greet me. I smirked in triumph. Until I walked 10 more steps and saw the baby gates, dog dishes and a cage. I felt dumb. Her name is Zowie, a cute little 2-month old chocolate lab who, thankfully, is not an overbred dog.
I also got my '93 Blazer. Yeah, I've been driving around 6 months and this is my 3rd car. I think it's awesome. Not only will I less likely die, but the information center is entirely digital, which looks friggin sweet. It's in awesome condition, and the Beretta will be sold soon.
So the past few days rocked. Although the car and Zowie are pretty sweet, I think being with Kelan is better. And in the words of the great Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."