No, I'm not awake; I'm sleep typing...
So we moved Jean into her residence room today. Small little thing, but it'll be her new home for the next 8 months. She didn't seem too nervous, but I could tell that she was really excited to be there. And we were all happy for her. BUt somewhere between carrying too many boxes up three flights of stairs, and telling Erica and Alan to stop being childish (What can I say, I'm the pseudo-older brother?), I hit me: I'm not going to have this again. At least not for another year. I mean, I had a res week at Waterloo, but at the same time, I was kind of jealous of Jean today. I guess my res experience just wasn't up to snuff. But I didn't want to say anything about it. It was Jean's big day, and I didn't want to ruin it, so I just kind of passed my odd mood off as nostalgia. I'm sure the fact that I was sweating helped to mask any stray tears. I dunno if they were from depression, or being happy for Jean. I know, I'm a sap, and I have problems. What, like you're so perfect? XP I dunno, I guess I'm just a little nervous about the whole thing. I'm kind of afriad that she'll meet all these new people , and then there won't be any room for me in her world. I know I'm being silly, but I still worry. I guess I'm just paranoid.
I'm in a bit of a rut. Everyone is gone off to school now, so there isn't really anyone around to talk to. It makes me feel kind of lonely. I mean, I keep telling myself that I'll only be here for another month, but it seems like cold comfort sometimes. I mean, I got home today, went up to my room, and thought to my self 'Well, this is it, huh? This is all I have to look forward to.' I just kind of shut down from there. I couldn't even play video games (yeah, try to figure that one out). I guess I just need to keep busy, but while I'm in town, that's kind of difficult. For the record, I would like to say that STRATHROY SUCKS!!!!! My parents don't seem to fathom that there is absolutely NOTHING for a person my age, with my intelligence. I'm not content to toil away at a factory every day, and then go drink a few beers at the Derby, before going to bed, and repeating the entire process the next day. And the day after that. See what I'm getting at. I'm beginning to sound Emo, but I don't care. Doug can shove his emo-phobia up his ass for all I care. Because sometimes, it may not seem that bad to the outside observer, but the mind of the subject makes it that bad.
I think most of it has to do with this whole school thing. I mean, this is the first time since I was little that I'm not starting school in the fall, and it upsets me. This isn't something that I can talk to my parents about, because they keep spouting off the same old tired tripe about their experiences out of school. But the thing that I keep having to point out to them, is that they at least had each other for support. Right now, I really don't have anyone to talk to, or lean on. I know that they are there, but they're too far away, or they have thier own business to deal with. I've always hated being a pain in other people's side, even though my mood problems have proven to be that on several occasions. Maybe I do need to do some travelling this year. Get my head in order, because I'm still not sure what I want to do next fall. I've been telling people that I'll be back at Waterloo, but I'm not so sure I want to. I need to seriously think about this, because I need to start taking my future into consideration. What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be?
Those of you who read this, and are in post secondary, you should be thankful that you're where you are today. Make the most of the experience
I'm in a bit of a rut. Everyone is gone off to school now, so there isn't really anyone around to talk to. It makes me feel kind of lonely. I mean, I keep telling myself that I'll only be here for another month, but it seems like cold comfort sometimes. I mean, I got home today, went up to my room, and thought to my self 'Well, this is it, huh? This is all I have to look forward to.' I just kind of shut down from there. I couldn't even play video games (yeah, try to figure that one out). I guess I just need to keep busy, but while I'm in town, that's kind of difficult. For the record, I would like to say that STRATHROY SUCKS!!!!! My parents don't seem to fathom that there is absolutely NOTHING for a person my age, with my intelligence. I'm not content to toil away at a factory every day, and then go drink a few beers at the Derby, before going to bed, and repeating the entire process the next day. And the day after that. See what I'm getting at. I'm beginning to sound Emo, but I don't care. Doug can shove his emo-phobia up his ass for all I care. Because sometimes, it may not seem that bad to the outside observer, but the mind of the subject makes it that bad.
I think most of it has to do with this whole school thing. I mean, this is the first time since I was little that I'm not starting school in the fall, and it upsets me. This isn't something that I can talk to my parents about, because they keep spouting off the same old tired tripe about their experiences out of school. But the thing that I keep having to point out to them, is that they at least had each other for support. Right now, I really don't have anyone to talk to, or lean on. I know that they are there, but they're too far away, or they have thier own business to deal with. I've always hated being a pain in other people's side, even though my mood problems have proven to be that on several occasions. Maybe I do need to do some travelling this year. Get my head in order, because I'm still not sure what I want to do next fall. I've been telling people that I'll be back at Waterloo, but I'm not so sure I want to. I need to seriously think about this, because I need to start taking my future into consideration. What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be?
Those of you who read this, and are in post secondary, you should be thankful that you're where you are today. Make the most of the experience