Yikes
So I'm kind of at a loss and this will probably be a quick entry, because my mind is already spinning, it's almost 11 pm, and I have 2 interviews tomorrow, plus work. That's right.
Some how I've manged to score a phone interview for a director of marketing for FMDH back home as well as a supervisor position for my current job in a call center. Of course the DOM is pretty much my ideal career. I don't know if I have the interview because of lack of candidates, or because who my father is at the hospital. Either way, I feel like barfing right now. There isn't a chance in hell that I would actually get the position, but the idea of getting it is freaking me out. Again, I'm not qualified because I've NEVER held a marketing position in my short 8 months with a BS in Marketing, but somehow.. I have a phone interview.
Would I want to move back to Glasgow? I mean, really? It's almost like that's my end game. That's it. I'm back. Never leaving. On the other hand, it would be an amazing opportunity. I'm never going to get it, but I'm scared of the possibility. I don't even know what to say during the interview. My mom says "they know you're inexperienced, dazzle them with your personality." PSShhhh.. cause that's what gets jobs. UGH. My brain hurts. My heart is racing. And I want to throw up.
On the other hand, I feel like the supervisor position is half in the bag. Which is NOT where I saw myself "when I grew up," nor is it what I spent 33K getting an education on. But it would be SLIGHTLY (not much) more money and a little more prestige. But come on. It's a fucking call center supervisor. Granted, I'd be one of the best they ever had. But what if I didn't get it? What if I didn't get either? I honestly don't know if I could handle it.
The center manager all but promised me the position, but what if I bomb or joke at the wrong time or can't think of an appropriate response? Then again, she already knows me and how I work.
I'm just... overwhelmed right now. I feel like bursting out in tears because of the unknown. I hate the unknown. I love it, but hate it because it's so uncontrollable and right now I feel the need to feel controlled.
I just want something in life I can be proud of. Sure, I've made it own my own. Yeah, I have achievements that I have a damn right to be proud of. But dang it.. I just want to feel like I've made my little mark on the world. But that isn't going to happen in a call center. And it sure as hell isn't going to happen in Glasgow, Montana.
But I want it all. Damn it. I want it all.
Some how I've manged to score a phone interview for a director of marketing for FMDH back home as well as a supervisor position for my current job in a call center. Of course the DOM is pretty much my ideal career. I don't know if I have the interview because of lack of candidates, or because who my father is at the hospital. Either way, I feel like barfing right now. There isn't a chance in hell that I would actually get the position, but the idea of getting it is freaking me out. Again, I'm not qualified because I've NEVER held a marketing position in my short 8 months with a BS in Marketing, but somehow.. I have a phone interview.
Would I want to move back to Glasgow? I mean, really? It's almost like that's my end game. That's it. I'm back. Never leaving. On the other hand, it would be an amazing opportunity. I'm never going to get it, but I'm scared of the possibility. I don't even know what to say during the interview. My mom says "they know you're inexperienced, dazzle them with your personality." PSShhhh.. cause that's what gets jobs. UGH. My brain hurts. My heart is racing. And I want to throw up.
On the other hand, I feel like the supervisor position is half in the bag. Which is NOT where I saw myself "when I grew up," nor is it what I spent 33K getting an education on. But it would be SLIGHTLY (not much) more money and a little more prestige. But come on. It's a fucking call center supervisor. Granted, I'd be one of the best they ever had. But what if I didn't get it? What if I didn't get either? I honestly don't know if I could handle it.
The center manager all but promised me the position, but what if I bomb or joke at the wrong time or can't think of an appropriate response? Then again, she already knows me and how I work.
I'm just... overwhelmed right now. I feel like bursting out in tears because of the unknown. I hate the unknown. I love it, but hate it because it's so uncontrollable and right now I feel the need to feel controlled.
I just want something in life I can be proud of. Sure, I've made it own my own. Yeah, I have achievements that I have a damn right to be proud of. But dang it.. I just want to feel like I've made my little mark on the world. But that isn't going to happen in a call center. And it sure as hell isn't going to happen in Glasgow, Montana.
But I want it all. Damn it. I want it all.