(no subject)
The past 5 days have been pretty fucking out their.Friday i was unexpectedly given 1.6 grams of shrooms by a couple of girls ive been hanging out with.We tripped pretty damn good,them more then me since they each had over 2.5.It was a long and unplanned beautiful night.No where near as intense of a tripp as the time before that but each had its advantages.
On saturday i got some pretty low grade acid.I wanted to chill by my self in my room and just work on art but after about 2 hours by my self and in a contained environment i just couldnt take it any more so i called my friend jamie and she just sort of took care of me.
Sunday i kind of just crashed all day i laied around and started to fall down the spiral.I couldnt get out of the dark areas in my mind.I would try reading only to get through about 5 pages before throwing the book in frustration.I want to see whats on the other side already.I want to take that final journey and see where i end up.Where did you go to mom?Is it safe?Ahh...the warm memories.
Monday i was in destruct mode.
I feel like i was raised in a good way.I have lots of flaws and i could definetly name most of them but i try my best to be respectful,mindful,open minded.What ever.You get it.But what has happend to youth?Where has culture,media, and existence gone to.Whats happend to our enviornment?
I talked to my counceler that day.I pretty much just had my head phones on and listend to the Advent Children ost that my friend let me borrow all day.Of course i did work but i just had to block out the lack of self control.
I still havent lost hope in them.Its not them.Its whats they where thrown into.
I wasnt my talkitive self with the counceler but i openly started talking to her about my passion for wanting to see the other side already.I guess i told her i alot of things that i shouldnt of had but i really trust her and shes so sexy.We talk alot about everything.But i guess she started getting really concerned and she kept asking questions and i just wasnt thinking so it was my fault too.But she made this big deal out of nothing really its just thought i kept explaning to her that im way too much of a pussy to actually make that huge leap into death.But i just look foward to it in what ever shape it comes in.I have to much i still feel i need to do tho.
And then today i skipped school to go to a high school in chicago that was having a protest.When my friend 1st told me about it i thought it was about the whole immagration thing so i figured hell yea its for my people.But then i found out it was because students felt there was a lack of safty and the sercruty gards didnt do there jobs when some kid got jumped by 6 guys and all this other stuff including people throwing SHIT SHIT SHIT across the auditorium...i dont get it.But yea it was enough of a protest to get real attention and plenty of media.I saw my self a few times hahaa.But i met the class president of the school and we exchanged ideas and contact it was great.I felt the power of helping to the cause and she seemed so grateful of my random help.There where alot of idiots there tho that ruined alot of it but what ever.I have to go now tho but maybe ill give more thoughts about this whole thing next time.
On saturday i got some pretty low grade acid.I wanted to chill by my self in my room and just work on art but after about 2 hours by my self and in a contained environment i just couldnt take it any more so i called my friend jamie and she just sort of took care of me.
Sunday i kind of just crashed all day i laied around and started to fall down the spiral.I couldnt get out of the dark areas in my mind.I would try reading only to get through about 5 pages before throwing the book in frustration.I want to see whats on the other side already.I want to take that final journey and see where i end up.Where did you go to mom?Is it safe?Ahh...the warm memories.
Monday i was in destruct mode.
I feel like i was raised in a good way.I have lots of flaws and i could definetly name most of them but i try my best to be respectful,mindful,open minded.What ever.You get it.But what has happend to youth?Where has culture,media, and existence gone to.Whats happend to our enviornment?
I talked to my counceler that day.I pretty much just had my head phones on and listend to the Advent Children ost that my friend let me borrow all day.Of course i did work but i just had to block out the lack of self control.
I still havent lost hope in them.Its not them.Its whats they where thrown into.
I wasnt my talkitive self with the counceler but i openly started talking to her about my passion for wanting to see the other side already.I guess i told her i alot of things that i shouldnt of had but i really trust her and shes so sexy.We talk alot about everything.But i guess she started getting really concerned and she kept asking questions and i just wasnt thinking so it was my fault too.But she made this big deal out of nothing really its just thought i kept explaning to her that im way too much of a pussy to actually make that huge leap into death.But i just look foward to it in what ever shape it comes in.I have to much i still feel i need to do tho.
And then today i skipped school to go to a high school in chicago that was having a protest.When my friend 1st told me about it i thought it was about the whole immagration thing so i figured hell yea its for my people.But then i found out it was because students felt there was a lack of safty and the sercruty gards didnt do there jobs when some kid got jumped by 6 guys and all this other stuff including people throwing SHIT SHIT SHIT across the auditorium...i dont get it.But yea it was enough of a protest to get real attention and plenty of media.I saw my self a few times hahaa.But i met the class president of the school and we exchanged ideas and contact it was great.I felt the power of helping to the cause and she seemed so grateful of my random help.There where alot of idiots there tho that ruined alot of it but what ever.I have to go now tho but maybe ill give more thoughts about this whole thing next time.