(no subject)
i used the word "schizophrenia". i don't remember what i said or why i even said it, but that doesn't really matter. just that i said it and started the conversation that inspired this entry. [have you ever dreamed in music before?-random stray]
"i have schizophrenia," he said, as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. i asked him what kind, cause schizophrenia fascinates me(too;). "i don't know," he said. so i got a little suspicious, like maybe he was just lying and trying to be cool- because that's why i'd do sometimes too. "if you have this disease, aren't you interested in knowing as much as you can about it?" i asked. which i think would be smart. researching things, specially if it's a personal thing like that. what he said next put me into a sort of shock:
"ignorance is bliss. they just give me the pills and tell me what to do and i get better."
like a good robot. like a big, fat, lazy human with a unhealthy amount of faith in people and pills, that they should take care of him. i wonder how long it'll take him to figure out that depending on other people's brains isn't going to fix him. and this is what's wrong with the world these days: that there are lazy human-beings out there who mineaswellbe robots, because they don't think, at all. and they take orders from whoever and whatever and have faith in things they are entirely ignorant of. how does this kid know if the pills will make him better if he doesn't know what they do in contrary to what his disease does to his brain? well, i guess he doesn't know. ignorant. ignorantignorantignorant. and lazy.
and we might blame it on the world because we've been conditioned to do just that(point the finger), like a stupid cow.
i mean, if _i_ get depressed i don't just leave it up to other people to make me better. when i feel anything at all i don't trust anyone else to tell me what i'm feeling and what'll help me cope. i might take their words into consideration and do some research and thinking, though. but then, i'm obsessed with understanding the how's and why's of my own emotions, of anything at all. and sure, i don't doubt that people are curious about the why's- but. i guess some of them are just too lazy to work it out in their heads, and they come to hate questions. and they're too lazy to figure it out, so they adopt other people's thoughts and words, or they stop at a false dead-end that temporarily satisfies and justifies their emotions. i _know_ this, on some level at least, because i've done it myself.
for example:
1. my bf/gf broke up with me.
2. i'm broke and in debt.
3. my mommy and daddy won't let me go to the mall on friday night.
4. my life sucks.
5. my parents make me do chores.
6. no one likes me.
7. i have no friends.
i call these dead-ends because the people who dish them out don't go any further, or realize that, at least for some, that they have brought it unto themselves. [if you split up with your significant other, it's ALWAYS the other persons fault. if you're broke and in debt, it's because you don't make enough money and your job sucks. if your life sucks, and no one likes you, and you have no friends, you're the victim: all lies.] the truth is, most likely, you're partly to blame(at least) for your breakup with your significant other. and you're broke and debt because you don't know how to budget your money. and your life sucks and no one likes you and you have no friends because you make it that way, maybe because you're ignorant about friendship or because when you're paranoid about people disliking you you tend to repel people in reality, and they end up really not liking you.
but you haven't thought that far, so you blame the world and act like a victim and feel like the world owes you something. like pills that will make you better so that you don't have to think about anything, or work on anything or make any sort of effort- because you're just a big, fat, lazy robot.
ignorance isn't bliss, ignorance just inables you to feel without understanding what you're feeling, which keeps your misery in a cloud of confusion. maybe if we used our brains, and understood our misery, we would find it necessary and bearable. misery in knowledge is healthy, more bearable, because you understand it. misery based in ignorance is unhealthy, less bearable, and you end up hurting yourself over and over again because you never learn the truths from it or understand it. just like mistakes- you keep making them if you don't learn from them. so wisen up, because it'll never stop otherwise.!
"i have schizophrenia," he said, as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. i asked him what kind, cause schizophrenia fascinates me(too;). "i don't know," he said. so i got a little suspicious, like maybe he was just lying and trying to be cool- because that's why i'd do sometimes too. "if you have this disease, aren't you interested in knowing as much as you can about it?" i asked. which i think would be smart. researching things, specially if it's a personal thing like that. what he said next put me into a sort of shock:
"ignorance is bliss. they just give me the pills and tell me what to do and i get better."
like a good robot. like a big, fat, lazy human with a unhealthy amount of faith in people and pills, that they should take care of him. i wonder how long it'll take him to figure out that depending on other people's brains isn't going to fix him. and this is what's wrong with the world these days: that there are lazy human-beings out there who mineaswellbe robots, because they don't think, at all. and they take orders from whoever and whatever and have faith in things they are entirely ignorant of. how does this kid know if the pills will make him better if he doesn't know what they do in contrary to what his disease does to his brain? well, i guess he doesn't know. ignorant. ignorantignorantignorant. and lazy.
and we might blame it on the world because we've been conditioned to do just that(point the finger), like a stupid cow.
i mean, if _i_ get depressed i don't just leave it up to other people to make me better. when i feel anything at all i don't trust anyone else to tell me what i'm feeling and what'll help me cope. i might take their words into consideration and do some research and thinking, though. but then, i'm obsessed with understanding the how's and why's of my own emotions, of anything at all. and sure, i don't doubt that people are curious about the why's- but. i guess some of them are just too lazy to work it out in their heads, and they come to hate questions. and they're too lazy to figure it out, so they adopt other people's thoughts and words, or they stop at a false dead-end that temporarily satisfies and justifies their emotions. i _know_ this, on some level at least, because i've done it myself.
for example:
1. my bf/gf broke up with me.
2. i'm broke and in debt.
3. my mommy and daddy won't let me go to the mall on friday night.
4. my life sucks.
5. my parents make me do chores.
6. no one likes me.
7. i have no friends.
i call these dead-ends because the people who dish them out don't go any further, or realize that, at least for some, that they have brought it unto themselves. [if you split up with your significant other, it's ALWAYS the other persons fault. if you're broke and in debt, it's because you don't make enough money and your job sucks. if your life sucks, and no one likes you, and you have no friends, you're the victim: all lies.] the truth is, most likely, you're partly to blame(at least) for your breakup with your significant other. and you're broke and debt because you don't know how to budget your money. and your life sucks and no one likes you and you have no friends because you make it that way, maybe because you're ignorant about friendship or because when you're paranoid about people disliking you you tend to repel people in reality, and they end up really not liking you.
but you haven't thought that far, so you blame the world and act like a victim and feel like the world owes you something. like pills that will make you better so that you don't have to think about anything, or work on anything or make any sort of effort- because you're just a big, fat, lazy robot.
ignorance isn't bliss, ignorance just inables you to feel without understanding what you're feeling, which keeps your misery in a cloud of confusion. maybe if we used our brains, and understood our misery, we would find it necessary and bearable. misery in knowledge is healthy, more bearable, because you understand it. misery based in ignorance is unhealthy, less bearable, and you end up hurting yourself over and over again because you never learn the truths from it or understand it. just like mistakes- you keep making them if you don't learn from them. so wisen up, because it'll never stop otherwise.!