My dearest Gwen...
Dear Gwen,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it the night you picked your nose in your car and I saw you drive over the Catholic priest. I'm sure you're slutty enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning our matching Snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep your neighbor's dog as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Warm tingly sensations,
Erica
*****NOW ITS YOUR TURN!*****
Dear (any one on ur top friends),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but(1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12)(Your name).
1) What's the colo of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Grey- Our socks don't match
Green - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When you smacked my ass
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I quoted Forest Gump
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When u finally changed ur underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna-In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Carve your initials into
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Put whipped cream on
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons-Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - vexed
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - Slutty
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
Red - Your toe ring
Yellow - The cut toenails
Grey - Your Hannah Montanna underwear
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
White - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink(ish) - Your love letters to me
Other - The pictures from Vegas
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/Z - Your collection of butterflies
C/X - Your glass eye
E/V - Your neighbour’s dog
G/T - The oil tank from your car
I/R - Your left ear
K/P - The results of that blood-sample
M/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
O/L - My common sense
Q/N - Your mom
S/H - My virginity
U/F - Your criminal record
W/J - Your sucide note
Y/B - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/Z - Haven’t showered in a month
C/X - Always will remember the pep talks
E/V - am better off without you
G/T - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
I/R - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/P - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/D - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/S - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/N - Always wanted to break your legs
L/H - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/F - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/J - Hate your cooking
Y/B - Never will forget that night
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Cider- I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Other - Thanks for the Cocaine
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Italy - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt -Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it the night you picked your nose in your car and I saw you drive over the Catholic priest. I'm sure you're slutty enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning our matching Snoopy underwear to you, but I'll keep your neighbor's dog as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Warm tingly sensations,
Erica
*****NOW ITS YOUR TURN!*****
Dear (any one on ur top friends),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but(1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).(12)(Your name).
1) What's the colo of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Grey- Our socks don't match
Green - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When you smacked my ass
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I quoted Forest Gump
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When u finally changed ur underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna-In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Carve your initials into
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Put whipped cream on
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons-Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - vexed
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - Slutty
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
Red - Your toe ring
Yellow - The cut toenails
Grey - Your Hannah Montanna underwear
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
White - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink(ish) - Your love letters to me
Other - The pictures from Vegas
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/Z - Your collection of butterflies
C/X - Your glass eye
E/V - Your neighbour’s dog
G/T - The oil tank from your car
I/R - Your left ear
K/P - The results of that blood-sample
M/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
O/L - My common sense
Q/N - Your mom
S/H - My virginity
U/F - Your criminal record
W/J - Your sucide note
Y/B - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/Z - Haven’t showered in a month
C/X - Always will remember the pep talks
E/V - am better off without you
G/T - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
I/R - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/P - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/D - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/S - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/N - Always wanted to break your legs
L/H - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/F - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/J - Hate your cooking
Y/B - Never will forget that night
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Cider- I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Other - Thanks for the Cocaine
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Italy - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt -Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself