I keep hearing this same theme over and over and over and over in my life like a broken record:"Set Boundaries"... Sighs.. not good good with boundaries from either side... sucks sometimes. it has made a misery out of my life more than once. One one side allowing myself to be used and abused by people without good boundaries and the other side being doing things others who don't have good boundaries. (and then of course feeling victimized by both one for persecuting me and the other for allowing me to victimize them.) On the other hand, once boundaries are stated and clear I'm usually really good about respecting them. Its the "unwritten" ones or "unstated" one's that I have trouble with. Which is why one of my favorite quotes is, "Yes, I may in fact be able to read your mind. That does not however mean its ok for you to expect me to do so. State your needs." For me because of abuse as a child and an enviorment for most of my life that has had culturally different boundaries than the society I live in, its really really important that people state their boundaries with me. That and hell I'm still trying to learn good ones myself!! So yea... "Set Boundaries" Goes right up there with:"Wear sunscreen" .
Sighs.. not good good with boundaries from either side... sucks sometimes. it has made a misery out of my life more than once. One one side allowing myself to be used and abused by people without good boundaries and the other side being doing things others who don't have good boundaries. (and then of course feeling victimized by both one for persecuting me and the other for allowing me to victimize them.)
On the other hand, once boundaries are stated and clear I'm usually really good about respecting them. Its the "unwritten" ones or "unstated" one's that I have trouble with. Which is why one of my favorite quotes is, "Yes, I may in fact be able to read your mind. That does not however mean its ok for you to expect me to do so. State your needs."
For me because of abuse as a child and an enviorment for most of my life that has had culturally different boundaries than the society I live in, its really really important that people state their boundaries with me. That and hell I'm still trying to learn good ones myself!!
So yea... "Set Boundaries"
Goes right up there with:"Wear sunscreen"
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